Every interaction and conflict between children is an opportunity for them to grow.

\”I have to go to school and tear that little kid up!\” Na stood in front of me with her hands on her hips and said angrily. She couldn\’t blame her for being so angry. She had a crush on her heart. She had just returned from transferring to another school and met a good friend Maomao in the class. But within two days, Da Da started to have scars every day. The day before yesterday, his face was scratched by Mao Mao\’s nails, and small bloodshot oozed out; Later, it was discovered that the skin on Da Da\’s knees was broken. It turned out that he was pushed to the ground by Mao Mao. Nana was so angry that she said, \”This naughty kid is so bad at such a young age. His parents don\’t care. I will take care of him tomorrow!\” I grabbed her and said, \”How do you want to take care of him? Beat him? Scold him? Or just follow him?\” Are his parents fighting each other?\” She was stunned for a few seconds when I said this, and sighed helplessly: \”Then what can I do?\” No one wants their children to be beaten, scolded, or bullied. It\’s unbearable to see it with your own eyes, not to mention that you can\’t see what you can\’t control. If you use your imagination a little bit, you\’ll be extremely anxious. Nana watched Da Da go home with injuries every day, feeling as if she was scratching her heart. However, conflicts between children are inevitable. When I was in elementary school, my deskmate was a boy. We would quarrel almost every day: when writing, he stretched his arms wide, squeezing me into only a little space; he liked to take my pencils and erasers without authorization; I took my ping-pong ball to play, but it got deflated… When I was angry, I would draw a 38-minute line on the table so that each other would not cross the line; when we were reconciled, the 38-minute line would disappear. Quarrels and fights are extremely normal in the world of children. Even if sometimes you hit me and I bite you, it doesn\’t take long for them to reconcile again. I believe that most people will find similar shadows in their childhood. Psychologist Li Xue said: Childhood is a process of experiencing various spontaneous experiences, including warm support and understanding, as well as fierce verbal conflicts. Laughter and curses constitute all aspects of childhood. Children themselves have no judgment about various experiences. After experiencing them completely, they will neither be attached to nor fear any kind of state, and develop a truly rational and free mind. Yesterday, when I took Little Guiyuan downstairs to play, I saw Xiaoxiao and Qiqi fighting over a little Peppa Pig. It turned out that they each brought their own Peppa Pig downstairs to play house, and then they started playing Jumping rope. When she was about to go home, she found that one was missing. Qiqi sat down on the ground and started crying. When Xiaoxiao\’s mother saw it and asked what happened, she took Xiaoxiao to the grass aside and started to look for it. He picked up another Peppa Pig and ran to Qiqi\’s mother: \”Auntie, look, this is Qiqi\’s Peppa Pig. There are tweeds on it that Qiqi drew for Peppa Pig.\” When Qi saw it, she immediately burst into tears and laughed. She got up from the ground embarrassedly, took Peppa Pig, and whispered to Xiaoxiao: \”I\’m sorry.\” Xiaoxiao\’s mother said as she walked: \”Don\’t encounter such a thing in the future. If you are anxious, use your brain to find a solution first. Crying and arguing will not solve anything.\” Every conflict between children is an opportunity for growth. We can take advantage of the situation and exercise their conflict resolution skills. Year 2014Psychologist Frank Vitaro studied 3,208 children and found that children who often conflict with their peers in kindergarten will show more aggressive behavior in the first grade of elementary school. However, as long as these children have good conflict resolution skills, they will not only effectively reduce aggressive behavior, but also get along better with their peers and gain high-quality friendships. Conflict resolution ability lies in our guidance to our children. How we deal with conflicts between children is in the eyes and hearts of our children. They will follow our example and deal with it again and again. Therefore, how to deal with children\’s conflicts is crucial. Each child has a different personality, bumps into each other during the conflict, and has different strengths and weaknesses. How should we guide them? 1. Don’t blindly intervene. I once read a story: In a kindergarten parent group, Momo’s mother got into a quarrel in the group because Momo was scratched on the face by Xixi, and she wanted Xixi’s mother to give an explanation. Xixi’s mother expressed doubts because she had not heard from the teacher that her child was causing trouble in the class. So I went to the child to ask for clarification, and found that what happened was like this: When Xixi and Mo Mo were playing together in the kindergarten, a child threw a toy at Mo Mo. It almost hit her, so I stretched out my hand to block it. As a result, she accidentally scratched her face. Xixi apologized immediately, silently saying it was okay, and the teacher praised them. The teacher felt that the matter had been resolved, so he did not tell the parents. The teacher explained in the group: Momo was lucky to have Xixi to help block him, otherwise he would have been hit by the toy, and the consequences would have been more serious. The parent asked the child again, and after learning more about the situation, he said in the group that he had wrongly blamed the child and apologized directly. Let us learn to be a \”listener\”, so that on the one hand, children can feel the understanding and emotional support of their parents, and on the other hand, they can better understand the reasons for conflicts. 2. Parents must apologize promptly when their children hit others. In \”Parenting Master\”, Xiaohua did not know the importance and hurt Sheng En many times during play, but Xiaohua\’s parents smiled and watched Xiaohua hurt Sheng En without any expression of guilt. When Sheng En\’s father saw Sheng En being dragged around by the naughty little flower, he kept reminding her to \”slow down\” and \”can\’t do this\”. Later, when he saw that Xiao Hua\’s parents were indifferent, he couldn\’t bear it anymore and stood up and ordered Sheng En to fight back and hit Xiao Hua, roaring angrily. He said: \”Your mother doesn\’t care about you, I will teach you a lesson for your mother!\” Anyone who sees his child being beaten is more uncomfortable than being beaten himself. If you see your child being bullied all the time, but the other person is unapologetic, Eventually they will intervene, and conflicts between children often turn into conflicts between parents. No matter what the reason is, when a child takes the initiative to hit someone or hurts someone else, we must stand up as soon as possible and take the child to apologize to the other person\’s children and parents. It can not only make them feel sincerity and reduce their anger, but also let their children know that if they do something wrong, they will have to pay the price. 3. Teach children self-protection. CCTV host Wang Xiaoqian once posted a news: When I went to pick up my daughter Zao Zao from kindergarten, I found an obvious tooth mark on her face. The teacher said Zao Zao was sleeping next to her while she was taking a nap at noon. little boy bites. It didn\’t fade away all afternoon, which shows that the bite was serious.. Wang Xiaoqian suppressed his heartache and asked her if she cried. Zaozao said that because the children were all taking a nap, she was worried about disturbing others, so she kept enduring it. Ask her why she didn\’t tell the teacher? She pointed at the little boy who bit her and said: \”He was playing with me and he didn\’t know how to play, so he bit me. Let\’s not talk about it and let\’s go…\” Zaozao was laughing again. He said: \”Mom, I won\’t complain.\” Wang Xiaoqian said: \”A good boy, with a pure heart and consideration for others. But, dear baby, in addition to explaining for the \”culprit\” and not disturbing other sleeping children, you should also know how to let others sleep. The bottom line is to protect yourself from harm, regardless of whether the other person is well-intentioned or malicious. Next time, if you encounter a similar situation, your parents hope that you can push him away as soon as possible, stop him loudly, or seek help from the teacher – this Never a snitch.\” After every conflict, we not only teach children how to resolve conflicts, but also teach them that protecting themselves is the most important thing. There is a rule on the Internet for teaching children to protect themselves in conflicts. We can refer to it: 1. Grab the other person\’s hand, look directly into the other person\’s eyes, and tell him \”no\” loudly. 2. If the other person ignores you, then ignore him and just walk away. 3. If the other person still follows you, find a way to seek help, ask a friend or an adult for help. For young or particularly introverted children, we can role-play with them at home. Let him take the initiative to push the adult. At this time, the key points of the adult\’s demonstration are: 1. When falling, protect the head with both hands; 2. Be calm, steady yourself, and say to the other person seriously and loudly, \”You Don\’t push (hit…) me\”; 3. If the other party continues, let the child run away quickly. You can go to an adult or fight back. We can also practice role reversal with our children. Always keeping our children behind us is not the best protection for our children. But when one day he grows up, we can be sure that he has enough courage and strength to face the storms in life.

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