Have you ever used these five \”poisonous\” tones with your baby?

\”Stop arguing, I\’m so annoying, go away!\” I was very busy that day, and my son was causing trouble next to me. He would climb on my back and pull my hair; he would pull my arm. Mom, please stop being busy; Ask, mom, what are you doing… I couldn\’t hold it back anymore, I got angry. The son who was lively just now immediately became quiet. He held his mouth shut, his face turned red, and then he burst into tears. \”Mom, hug; Mom, hug!\” He put his arms around my neck while wiping away tears. At that moment, I felt so guilty. It was obviously my own problem, but I put all my anger on the little guy… Such a situation rarely happens, but if it does, it will definitely cause harm to the child! I picked him up immediately. I\’m sorry, it\’s my mother\’s fault. You really want your mother to play with you, right? Come on, I\’ll tell you about picture books. My son immediately calmed down and said, \”Mom, let\’s read the dinosaur book!\” I was worried that the comfort was still not enough, so when I slept with him at night, I asked him, \”Mom just lost my temper with you, will you forgive me?\” \”Yes!\” He suddenly kissed me and chuckled, he wasn\’t even three yet. This is our adorable, kind, and beautiful child. If we yell at the baby or are very impatient, we will immediately realize that this is inappropriate and will hurt the child, and we will immediately think of comforting and making amends. Then there are several kinds of tone or reaction that we are sometimes slightly unaware of. Let’s share them with you today. Of course, mom, we don’t have to criticize ourselves for being too perfect, just know it! The following five tones or reactions may hurt the baby: 1. Blaming. When we were children, we didn’t like to be said like this the most, but we couldn’t help but say it to our children. I admit that when I was a child, the thing I hated hearing my mother say the most was “What are you doing?” Are you so slow?!\”, \”Why are you so worthless?!\”… Every time a sentence like \”How do you…\” comes out, it is a serious injury to self-esteem! When a child\’s behavior does not meet parents\’ expectations, or when parents need to resolve a dispute with their child, it is easy to express their wishes by blaming. Accusation is not so much an expression as an imposition. Because parents can\’t find a better way to let their children receive their wishes. Then, he always likes to excuse his incompetence with excuses such as \”I hate iron but cannot become steel\”. In the previous article \”How about your baby\’s sense of security and emotional intelligence, it all depends on you!\” \”Xiaoshu\’er\’s mother shared a case about her son brushing his teeth. It took a long time to eliminate the shadow left by a wrong expression. In fact, I often make such mistakes. The \”poison\” of a reproachful tone lies not only in the ineffectiveness of communication, but also in the destruction of intimate relationships. When children are bombarded with blame from their parents, they often feel that they are not recognized from the tone of their voice before they even understand what happened. Their hearts are bound to be depressed and anxious at that moment. . 2. Nervous, all such emotions will be projected to the children. OK mothers often receive many inquiries from mothers in the background and on their personal WeChat accounts, including inquiries about pathology and consultation.When asking about psychology and behavior, sometimes you can seem to see a nervous face just after reading the message. My answer must start like this: Dear mother, first of all, please relax… because I have said more than once that your nervousness will be projected to the child. Many times the child may be okay just because he sees his mother\’s Nervous, he also becomes sensitive and vulnerable. Tension can give people a sense of oppression. Ever since I was little, I have been particularly afraid of the oppressive love from my mother. As long as I sneeze, within 0.1 seconds, my mother\’s concern will be heard in my ears: \”Wear more clothes, don\’t catch a cold.\” So before I sneeze, I have to consider whether I can restrain myself from sneezing too loudly. Children like to be surrounded by the love of their parents, and being surrounded and feeling oppressed increases the element of tension. Many times, parents are nervous without any valid reason. They may just be habits derived from the stress of life. So remember, a calm atmosphere is the best living environment we can give our children. 3. When giving orders, we always think that if the baby is still young, he should do as we say. Sometimes we unconsciously think that if the baby is still young, he should do as we say. I have always hoped that I would be an open-minded mother and give my children full freedom, but I still feel a little forced from time to time. \”Don\’t ride over there. There will be stairs there and you can\’t get down. Follow mom and ride here!\” No matter how much I shouted, my son didn\’t look back, got on his little bike and drove forward. I caught up with him, held the bicycle, and was about to change direction. My son was so anxious that he yelled, \”I want to ride this way, not that way.\” My husband stopped me: Why did he have to compete with the child? \”He can\’t get down from the front!\” I was a little annoyed. \”Wait a minute when we get to the front, I\’ll come down, and mommy will carry it down with me!\” Before the husband could say anything, my son suddenly said something, which immediately made me feel so guilty – why should I let him do such a simple thing? Looking at me! Sir, he patted me on the shoulder, \”Relax, don\’t be so forceful!\” Yes, why must our children listen to us in everything? Raising children is all about interaction. If you control too much, always want to manipulate, and ignore your children\’s feelings, you will be doomed. Because the depression and unhappiness brought to children will cause them to form inner conflicts and become unconfident, rigid and depressed. 4. Confrontation. When the baby cries, he gets a headache and resents it. He is anxious to make him stop crying. It is normal for children to cry. But even though we know that, when we hear a baby crying, our first reaction is that they are being too pretentious. It was too noisy, and then my head was busy thinking about how to make him stop crying, but I didn\’t look for the reason behind it. But in fact, when a child cries, especially a baby before 3 years old, it is usually because it is difficult for him to express his meaning clearly, and we cannot understand it quickly, so he becomes anxious and tells you by crying. I shared it very specifically in \”Baby loses temper and says \”no, no, no\”, usually for this reason…\” Once the reason is found, the baby immediately becomes an \”angel\”. The more anxious you are to put out the crying, the harder it will be to deal with the situation. 5. We are impatient. We often can’t help but get angry. This is what I mentioned at the beginning of the article. We often get angry because of our own busy schedules., to dislike the child\’s troubles. Sometimes, they may just be normal needs, which we find annoying. A few days ago, I was typing in the study, and he suddenly came to me and called me, Mom, Mom. I haven’t heard the second half of the sentence yet, so I’ll just go back to it. Don’t make any noise, wait until I finish writing this sentence. \”Mom, I want to drink water, but I can\’t get it on the table!\” I was about to get up when I saw that the little guy had already run to find his grandma. At that moment, I let him down…