How children develop good self-discipline behavior

I came across a video online. An 11-year-old girl, Chu Chu, weighs 120 pounds and is almost close to her father’s body shape. Because she is fat and dark, she has low self-esteem. In order to change his daughter, his father forced her to run. Although she was reluctant, with her father\’s insistence, Chu Chu started running. From 1 day, 2 days, to almost 300 days, she still hasn\’t stopped. Now Chu Chu\’s face is filled with a confident smile. She said that every time she finishes a run, she feels like she has surpassed herself, and now she is very confident no matter what she does. It\’s really admirable that Chu Chu and her father can persist for so long regardless of rain or shine. In them, I saw a high degree of self-discipline. What will a child with such self-discipline and confidence not be able to succeed in the future? I think many parents will be anxious because they or their children are not self-disciplined enough, especially when they see their children procrastinating in doing things, fishing for three days and drying nets for two days, being lazy, not being persistent enough, etc., we will be anxious on the sidelines: if this goes on , what to do with his grades? The book \”100 Days of Self-Discipline\” mentions a concept: OHT. It\’s One Hundred Days, Two methods, and Three things. In other words, in 100 days, use 2 methods to do 3 things. If you can adhere to these three habits of OHT, you can cultivate your child into a highly self-disciplined person and let him have a cheating life. 1: 100 days Why do you say you should persist for 100 days? The book \”Slow Thinking\” mentioned that about 95% of our daily actions are completed by habits. And developing a good habit requires time. Approximately how long will this take? It takes about 3 months to develop physical habits, such as getting up early, going to bed early, losing weight, etc. Therefore, if we want to shape the memory of the body and brain and make something become a habit, we have to stick to it for almost 100 days. Of course, everything is difficult at the beginning. In the process of forming a habit, we will probably have such an experience. Take children going to bed early as an example. ●The first stage: the resistance period (about 1-7 days). The formation of habits is most likely to fail and is the most painful during the resistance period. This is because when we want to change, the body (or brain) will fight against us. Aren’t our previous habits good? Why change? This leads to the fact that we often fail after only three minutes of enthusiasm. It\’s like I wanted to take Bunniu to bed early, so I turned off the lights and went to sleep at 8 o\’clock, but she was still jumping around at 11 o\’clock. Finally, I couldn\’t bear it anymore, and on the fourth day we were back to where we were. ●The second stage: unstable period (about 8-21 days) In fact, if I can take Bu Niu for a week, she may be able to develop the habit of going to bed early. Because after the resistance period, the body will slowly accept the new habit and adapt to this rhythm. At this stage, the main obstacle for us is the interruption caused by unexpected events, which leads to failure. For example, if your child\’s best friend comes over to play, you originally wanted to take him to bed at 8 o\’clock, but because your best friend is there and you are too embarrassed to drive him away, you allow him to play late. I managed to stick to the habit for a few days, but gave up halfway. So in the second stage, what we have to do is to deal with emergencies, improve the body\’s stability to the habit and enable it to continue to adapt to this habit. ●The third stage: the laziness period (about 22-30 days). After finally reaching the third stage, you find that the child suddenly doesn’t seem to want to persist anymore, and just wants to give up. why? You reasoned earnestly: Isn’t it good to go to bed early and get up early? You see how energetic you are when you wake up after going to bed early. Moreover, going to bed early is good for the brain, memory, body, and growth… The child just listens. Not going in: \”I\’ve been insisting for so long, can\’t you let me relax and play for a while?\” Relax, relax, and the child will completely let go. How to help children develop self-discipline – self-driven growth – free reading mobi+epub+azw3 This is because it is difficult to see results in a short period of time for a good habit. It is impossible for a child to suddenly become stronger, have a stronger memory, or become several centimeters taller just because he went to bed early for a day or two. Persistence seems to have no effect. Therefore, most people will become lazy at this stage and then give up. ●The fourth stage: the adaptation period (about 30-60 days). If you can persist for a month and enter the fourth stage, then a good habit has been initially formed. Come on! ●The fifth stage is the identification period (about 60-100 days). After 2-3 months of training, the child\’s brain and body have already identified with this habit. And in his consciousness, he also recognized the matter of going to bed early. Moreover, after persisting for so long, children will gradually see results, such as having no difficulty getting up early, not feeling sleepy in class, being energetic during the day, and learning efficiently, etc. With positive motivation, children are more willing to stick to this habit. So, if we want our children to develop a good habit, then we should keep it with them for at least 100 days. 2: We can think about 3 things carefully. What are the things that children need to develop self-discipline? You may count them in detail: reading for half an hour every day, exercising for half an hour, playing after finishing homework, going to bed early, not being picky about food, doing housework… From this list, choose 3 things that you think are the most important. You can also invite your child to make choices together and negotiate together, so that he will be more willing to complete it. Why 3 things instead of everything? Research has found that our memory capacity is approximately 3-7 units. When the capacity is 3, it is easier for us to remember and do it with concentration. Moreover, if there are too many goals, we will be afraid of difficulties and may feel frustrated because we cannot complete them. This creates greater obstacles and makes it harder to persevere. A person\’s energy is limited, but being able to carry out three good habits throughout his life is already very impressive. Three: After talking about time and things in the two methods, the next step is, how to do it? The book introduces 2 methods. ①Record We can prepare a \”100-day habit record book\” to record the experience of sticking to the habit. For example, when do you start doing it every day, when do you end it, how long does it take, what difficulties do you encounter, what is the result, etc. Recording allows us to clearly see the process of habit formation, making us more willing to stick to this good habit. ②In addition to recording, weWhat remains to be done is a review, and the content of the review can also be recorded in the above-mentioned record book. For example, you want your child to develop the habit of reading for half an hour every day. Step 1: Review the goal. Our goal is to read for half an hour every day, about 15 pages, and finish it in half a month. So how long did we actually watch this past day? How many pages have you read? Did you understand the content? Are you keeping up with the progress? With the guidance of goals, we can be specific and move closer to our goals bit by bit every day. Step 2: Review the process: when did the child start reading, when did it end, and whether there were any problems in the middle, such as going to the toilet, being disturbed by anything, etc. The review process can help us understand things more clearly and help children see their own growth experiences. Step 3: Analyze the reasons When the goal is not achieved, we need to find the reasons behind it. Of course, when looking for reasons, you don\’t question the child, but provide help and make improvements. For example, if a child does not finish reading, he may drink too much water and go to the toilet all the time, which distracts him. It may also be that the home is too noisy and does not give him a quiet environment. Or maybe you spend too much time on other things, resulting in not enough time for reading. Find the reason and make changes to remove obstacles and make it easier for your child to stick to the habit. Step 4: Explore patterns. By constantly recording and reviewing, we will discover when to use which method to be more efficient. Summarizing this rule, children will go more smoothly on the road to habit formation and form a thinking habit of loving thinking, which can benefit in all aspects. In this world, some things cannot be bought with money, but need to be exchanged for time. A good habit requires time and practice to acquire. If you want yourself or your children to develop the habit of self-discipline, then take action and use your time to change it~