How long will the terrible twos last? How to deal with a child’s first period of resistance?

During dinner in the evening, the whole family sat down. The one-year-old niece was still walking around with her little robot in her arms. My cousin set out the dishes and called the baby to come over for dinner. The niece turned to look at us and said loudly. Saying no, he ran to the living room while twisting his butt and humming. As a result, she was picked up by her brother-in-law who was watching TV in the living room and pulled back to the dining table. The usually obedient niece resisted extremely fiercely and cried endlessly and shouted no. The cousin frowned and took the child into her hands, coaxing and scolding her to adjust the child\’s state from \”yelling loudly and resisting violently\” to \”whispering and twitching and resisting.\” My cousin lamented that it has become increasingly difficult to take care of children recently, so we discussed the recent changes in our niece. My mother-in-law said that a two-year-old child has too many ideas. After taking a bath yesterday, she randomly gave her a piece of clothing, but she refused to wear it no matter what. Finally, she finally put it on and sat on the floor and started crying. , he was covered in sweat from the tossing, and the angry mother-in-law took off his clothes and washed him again, and finally changed his clothes before he was safe. My cousin also looked helpless. When she woke up in the middle of her sleep at night, she insisted on looking for her little rabbit. If she couldn\’t find it, she would not go to sleep. Little Rabbit Guaguai is a toy doll that her niece likes very much. No matter how many dolls she has changed, Little Rabbit Guaigai is the only one that is dear to her heart and she misses her wherever she goes. I also have a deep understanding of the recent changes in my little niece. Last night she was wearing adult slippers in the living room and fell down. Now she was fine. She sat on the ground and cried loudly, shouting My mother said no to my kind aunt who came to help me. These unusual reactions from my always obedient niece made me suddenly realize that my little niece’s “terrible two” had arrived early. \”Terrible Two\” is the child\’s first period of resistance, which is called Terrible (terrible) in English. This shows how foreign parents feel about children at this stage. At this stage, babies aged two or three develop a sense of independence for the first time, and often have various conflicts with their parents. The most intuitive manifestations reflected in the little niece are: 1. Do your own things. When eating, I no longer let my mother-in-law hold and feed me. I have to sit in my own baby chair. I must hold the chopsticks and spoon in my hand even if I can’t use them. In short, I want everything you adults have! So every time when it was time to eat, we saw a two-year-old baby holding a spoon with one hand and putting the rice into the spoon with difficulty with the other hand. The rice and vegetables were mushy all over the table and on the floor. The little niece With rice all over his face, he held a spoon and smiled happily. The mother-in-law was very emotional on the side. The child is not as obedient as before when he is older. In fact, this is a manifestation of the budding self-awareness of children, who want to do everything they want to do. Children must transform from a baby that is completely dependent on their parents to a baby that is relatively independent and has mastered a certain ability to take care of themselves. Toddlers. What a surprising discovery! 2. Piggy George style \”say no\” The little niece\’s favorite cartoon is Peppa Pig. I guess Peppa Pig\’s brother GeorgeHe must be in the \”terrible two\” stage, based on George\’s dragging \”no\” voice full of emotion, and the little niece has learned the essence of it. Ever since she learned the Piggy George style, she started saying these two words crazily. \”Do you want to eat?\” \”No\” \”Do you want to wear clothes?\” \”No\” \”Do you want to go out to play?\” \”No!\” \”Huh? Really don\’t?\” \”Yes.\” In short, whether you want it or not No, let me say no first. It challenges the psychological bottom line of parents every minute. What do you want? Saying no frequently is also one of the hallmarks of the \”T2\” stage. At this stage, they will use various means to understand and test the differences between others and themselves, and even challenge the differences between people. This is one of the reasons why the T2 stage is scary, and it is also one of the important stages in the development of children\’s emotional intelligence. They continue to test the edge of their parents\’ collapse, find a boundary between the constant conflicts between people, and finally form their own immature self. way of life. 3. An inexplicable sense of rules. The mother-in-law went upstairs to take out her cousin’s clothes for washing. When the niece saw it, she turned around and complained to her mother, “Mom’s, mom’s.” This meant that these clothes belong to your mother and you should not take them away. Her mother-in-law ignored her and took the clothes. After going downstairs, within a few seconds, the heart-wrenching cry of my little niece could be heard from upstairs. You must sit on the smallest bench. No one can sit on it. The cookies cannot be broken, the order of the brushes cannot be disordered, and the little rabbit must be taken with you when you go out to sleep. Children at this time have almost demanding requirements for themselves and everything in the world. If they are not satisfied, their emotions will explode, like a time bomb. Mom and dad were guarding her carefully, fearing that the bomb would explode at the slightest disagreement. The way parents cope is crucial for children at this stage. So, what effective methods should parents take when facing a bomb-like child? The correct answer is – relax. You know, terrible two is a stage that every child must inevitably go through. Whether you face a powerful enemy or face it calmly, this stage will come and it will go. What is left in the end is an infant that has transformed from the infant stage to a preliminary sense of autonomy. What parents have to do is to face it with a normal mind and use some tips to help their babies get through this stage better. 1. Help children develop their ability to be independent. Babies at this stage will have the illusion that I am omnipotent, I can do anything, just leave it alone and let me do it myself. But the fact is…you cry when you can\’t put on your shoes; you cry when you can\’t scoop out food; you can always walk by yourself, right? While walking, I would fall down and break down and cry. The psychological desire for rapid growth and the physical incoordination form an irreconcilable contradiction, stimulating the baby\’s fragile heart. At this time, parents must not take pleasure in this and laugh at the baby. Instead, they should understand and guide, help the baby master life skills, and let them gain a sense of accomplishment in the process of doing things on their own. It is the parents who give the baby the opportunity to grow.The best gift in the process. 2. Give appropriate choices. Children at this stage are willing to challenge their parents\’ authority. When faced with this situation, parents can choose not to confront their children head-on and give them appropriate choices. Children\’s little brains are actually not that sensitive. When you ask a child if he wants to eat, there are only two options in his mind: yes and no. When you ask him whether he wants noodles or rice, there are only two options left in his mind: noodles and rice, and he will naturally make a choice between them. Properly giving choices and giving children the right to choose can not only avoid a war, but also exercise children\’s ability to make independent choices. Why not? 3. Set a bottom line, be tolerant and give choices does not mean that you have to listen to your children in everything. Smart children learn to cry early in exchange for what they want. This is especially true for children at this stage, when anything goes wrong. Just burst into tears. Therefore, parents must remember not to compromise on some principled issues, such as eating and sleeping. If the children cry non-stop, give them some space to calm down. After the children calm down, patiently communicate with them about when to do something. After many games between the two parties, the children will gradually understand The bottom line for adults. Children are always struggling between their own needs for independent growth and their nature to rely on their parents, as well as the conflict between the budding self-awareness of children and the boundaries set by their parents, which will lead to uncontrollable emotional fluctuations in children. This special stage also challenges the patience of parents. However, it is precisely because of this that parents need to do their homework in advance to make the \”terrible two years old\” less scary.