On the weekend, we went to a business center for dinner with Taozi’s family. There is a colorful children\’s train in the middle hall. It turns in a small circle at a speed slower than walking. It takes 3 minutes and can go up to 100 meters. It costs 30 yuan per child. Children no taller than 1.2 meters must be accompanied by an adult. Children naturally want to sit. We have three children, two of them are less than 1.2 meters tall, plus one adult, it costs 120 yuan. We all thought it was a bit expensive and wanted to eat first and then go to the children\’s sports hall. I applied for the card, and it was less than 50 yuan per child, so I could play for a day. Taozi\’s daughter was just three years old. When her mother told her not to sit on the train anymore, she ran over and grabbed the train and started crying loudly. At this time, Taozi\’s husband Mu Mu came over and asked, \”Bao\’er, why are you crying?\” Taozi explained: \”She wants to take this train. It\’s a bit expensive. Let\’s go to the gym after dinner.\” Mu Mu turned around and looked at the price. Then he said: \”Sit, the child wants to sit, why don\’t you sit?\” Taozi explained: \”It\’s not too expensive, but it\’s not worth it. It only takes a few minutes.\” Mu Mu said, \”Is it worth it? It\’s not that I can\’t afford it. If the child is happy, I am happy.\” After saying that, he turned around and went to buy tickets, and also bought tickets for my two girls. The children didn\’t understand the adults\’ distress, so they happily jumped on the car and cheered. Three minutes later, the children got out of the car and burst into laughter. Mumu said: \”Look, what is more important than the happiness of children? Children, especially girls, must be well-off so that they can have a sense of responsibility and not be petty.\” Taozi and Mumu are both people who can change their destiny through reading. They all studied hard in their humble beginnings, passed the entrance exams in key departments of 958 from rural areas, and stayed in Shanghai after graduation. Mu Mu is a civil servant with an average but stable income. He has less work pressure and has more time to take care of his family. Taozi is a big company and has a good income, but he is under a lot of pressure. He often travels on business and has no time or energy. Their combined family income is generally quite good, and they now own a house in Shanghai, enjoying the benefits of a wooden flat. The unit benefits are not free, they are just cheaper than the sky-high prices of commercial housing in Shanghai today. They have to pay the mortgage every month, raise children, maintain a car, and both families have to provide some financial support, so life is very tight. Taozi always wanted to have another child, but she didn\’t need a calculator at all. She did the math by herself and gave up automatically. All of a sudden, the 120 yuan was gone, and more importantly, it was not worth the money, which made Tao Zi\’s face turn a little pale. I want to give her the money for the train, but she cares about face and refuses. We went to eat, and their daughter saw a Napoleon cake on the menu and shouted that she wanted to eat it. We often come to this restaurant, and their Napoleon is really dry and not tasty. But no surprise, at Mu Mu’s insistence, we ordered a Napoleon cake for the baby. When the cake was served, the eldest lady didn\’t eat a bite. After talking for a long time, everyone realized that when the menu photo was taken, there were several fondant Kitty kittens placed next to the cake. The baby must have this cake because of these kittens. In order to make up for the baby\’s mistake, Mu Mu worked hard to eat the cake. I looked at his frowning face and found it difficult to swallow, and asked him to step down: \”Mu Mu, don\’t eat it. Just forget about the rest.\” \”At noon on the hoeing day, the farmer My son, how can you waste food?? \” Taozi interrupted with an iceberg-like face, and the atmosphere dropped to zero. After eating, we went to the sports hall, and the men played with the children. Taozi and I bought a cup of coffee and sat and chatted. Taozi told me about her and Mu Mu’s problem. Mu Mu’s hometown is in the mountains. After junior high school, the village had roads and cars could enter. Mu Mu was shockingly poor when he was a child. So his willingness to change is particularly strong. In this life and the next life, my children and my grandchildren will all She can no longer suffer from poverty. Taozi also comes from the countryside, but the village is near the provincial highway, and Taozi’s father is a carpenter, and often helps others build furniture during the slack time. Taozi’s childhood cannot be compared with that of urban children, but compared with wood, she They can be regarded as bourgeois. When they were in college, they worked together, saved money together, and saved money together. Watching the number of money in their cards getting more and more, they felt indescribable satisfaction and happiness in their hearts. But today, when they are struggling With the strength of nine cows and two tigers, they finally gained a foothold in the glamorous Shanghai. When facing their children, they discovered that they had such different ideas about life and the future. To themselves, wood was a deadlock. A man with money. A piece of clothing can last ten years. Once, a pair of his underwear was torn. Before throwing it away, he thought about cutting off the elastic band. I don’t smoke or drink. I make phone calls at work. There is no WIFI. Turn on the mobile phone. Mumu\’s only hobby is reading books. Now he doesn\’t even buy books. He only looks for free e-books on the Internet. But Mumu\’s nemesis in this life is his daughter. Since Tao Zi\’s pregnancy, Mumu began to read various parenting monographs. Mumu is convinced: He and Taozi were lucky enough to change their destiny through reading before the social class was completely solidified. Today\’s society has been stratified and classes have begun to solidify, so the only remaining way to counterattack is to raise their daughter rich. She was raised into a wealthy class, with rich people\’s thinking, cultivation and behavior, and she was reborn as a rich girl, so that she would be naturally accepted by the wealthy class instead of being rejected. In short, raising children must be We cannot let our children get the poor mentality. Children with the poor mentality will only have a narrower road and become poorer. I was dumbfounded and said for a long time: \”The summary is so insightful. How many official accounts does your family have to subscribe to?\” ? Have you ordered mine? \”After human beings reach adulthood, they always desperately denounce and reject their original state, while trying desperately to imitate it without realizing it. Looking at themselves, they always fail to recognize the true face of Mount Lu, just because of the blur of being in this mountain, but others see it. I will always be at the top of the mountain and see the small things clearly. In the modern anxious society, \”affluent\” is a completely distorted concept. When I started to get pregnant and give birth to a child, I was also an anxious person. mother. I also absorb the parenting concepts like a sponge. \”Raising a rich girl\”, especially \”raising a daughter richly\”, is the theory that most pleases parents among many theories, because no one wants to raise their woman to be a slim, graceful and well-mannered woman. An elegant princess, pampered, wealthy and comfortable. However, \”wealthy\” is just a relative concept. The most realistic and saddest thing in life is that we may be able to change class through hard work, but we cannot fake it out of thin air.Pretend to be in a class. No matter how true you are, it\’s still false. You really can\’t deceive others, you can only deceive yourself and others. For an adult, this pretense of being strong on the outside but capable on the inside will arouse the ridicule of others. It is the same for children, because children know everything and are all villains. What they lack is just the ability to express themselves. When I was teaching at a French school, there was a class dispute between two six-year-old boys over a position. The one who couldn\’t take the position said anxiously: \”My dad is your dad\’s leader, give up your position to me.\” Afterwards, the leader\’s dad came to the school to apologize, his attitude was respectful and he gave me enough face. But the facts and strength are there, and it is self-evident to adults. I think everyone must know this kind of person who was tightened by his parents, but grew up wealthy, lived in a sealed jar of formalin, and had no contact with the air. When I was studying in France, there were many young international students whose families were rich and powerful, who couldn\’t study well and had no hope of getting into college, so they came out to be rich. But for one of them, his parents were divorced and he came from a working-class family. In order for him to go abroad, his mother bought a house and moved back to live with his parents. Divorce was a hurdle that his mother couldn\’t overcome. She must have swore with courage: \”Even if I am a woman, I can give my children the best education.\” It\’s a pity that girls who were deliberately raised rich since childhood, although I know that my family is not as wealthy as others, but I have never been short of money and have no sense of crisis. It is meaningless to accuse her, because everyone can only live according to their own consciousness, so people who can jump out of their own consciousness and see themselves clearly, for thousands of years, we have called them \”saints.\” She spends all day with that person Helping kids from rich families hang out, chasing after brand-name bags and trendy mobile phones. I haven\’t applied to go to college for several years, and then I don\’t know where I went. In this world, people are always pursuing what they don’t have. For example, celebrities who rely on their faces for a living always mind if their children\’s faces are exposed in newspapers; ordinary people who are not celebrities can\’t stop themselves from posting photos of their children on their screens. For another example, most of those parents who enthusiastically pursue \”enrichment\” have actually changed their backgrounds, but they are afraid of counterattacking the losers all day long; those parents who are really rich and elite think about how to strictly control their income every day. Family rules, how to work-study, how to control children\’s material desires. Even Trump’s Ivanka stated that when she was a child, she had to earn pocket money on her own. When it comes to raising children, it is always the father-in-law who says what is right, and the mother-in-law who says what is right. If children are raised poor, they will have no structure, no vision, and will be unable to jump to the dragon gate and become elites. If children are raised rich, they will know everything, be incompetent in everything, and have no sense of crisis. They will become \”children of the Eight Banners\” and the most prodigal of the family. Don’t you see those girls who take out loans, sell their eggs, and have surrogates? Don’t you see who asks for high-interest loans just to pay for today’s lunch? In fact, there is no growth without hurt. From princes to common people, everyone talks about their original family with snot and tears, and their grievances are like waves washing away the sand. Raising children is a lifelong practice for everyone. Instead of constantly thinking about: What should we raise our children? How should we create a brilliant future for our children? How can we let our children continue to successfully squeeze into the elite ranks?Spire? It is better to think carefully about how to pass on the most valuable part of your life to your children. This is the most important thing! The most taboo thing about raising children is to waste all your efforts to create an illusion for innocent and ignorant children, and then let society trample on her and tell her that she has been living in a scam since she was a child. Is there anything more heart-wrenching and powerless than being betrayed by one\’s own parents?