How to adjust a child with low self-esteem

Self-esteem, which literally means respecting oneself, can be commonly understood as a child’s subjective judgment of his or her own value, a sense of self-identity, a sense of value, and confidence in oneself. Good self-esteem can give children the confidence and willingness to try and challenge new things, be willing to try again when encountering setbacks, and have the courage to accept challenges. And all of this is the process of children learning and growing. Low self-esteem or inferiority complex will cause children to deny themselves, feel that they are worse than other children, lack self-confidence, be full of doubts about themselves, and feel that they are not capable of doing well. If things go on like this, it will be a bad state that will \”ruin your life\”. Therefore, it is important to cultivate good self-esteem in children. What specific manifestations indicate that a child has low self-esteem, and parents should pay attention to it? And how to cultivate children\’s self-esteem from birth? Let’s share it today. What symptoms indicate a child\’s low self-esteem? Children\’s low self-esteem is sometimes easy to detect, but sometimes it is more hidden. Specifically, the following signs or performances indicate that a child may have low self-esteem, and parents should pay attention to it: When faced with challenges, children actively avoid them and are unwilling to try. This is often a sign that children are afraid of failure and feel helpless. Give up easily and give up immediately if you are slightly frustrated. When you are about to lose at a game, you start cheating or lying. Showing excessive concern or sensitivity to others\’ evaluations of oneself. They like to find excuses to blame external factors or third parties. For example, if they do not perform well in school, they will say that there is something wrong with the teacher; if they do something bad, they will say that they don’t care about it. Refuses to socialize and does not like to contact friends or classmates. Like to make some self-negative comments, such as \”I can never get things done\”, \”No one likes me\”, \”I\’m ugly\”, \”It\’s all my problem\”, \”Everyone is smarter than me\” \”. Show strong control, arrogance, or stubbornness, and use these behaviors to hide your inner feelings of frustration or powerlessness. Emotional changes, manifested as sadness, crying, venting anger, frustration, being extra quiet, etc. It is difficult to accept praise or criticism. Children who are already in school may experience a decline in academic performance or lose interest in things they usually enjoy. When at home, they show an extra desire to step in and help, or they show that they never help their family members. How to cultivate good self-esteem in children from an early age? Children\’s self-esteem needs to be cultivated from an early age. Regarding how to cultivate children\’s self-esteem at different ages: 0-1 years old. Children of this age group actually do not have self-esteem in the true sense because they do not have self-awareness yet. But at this time, we still lay the foundation for cultivating children\’s self-esteem in the future, such as: taking care of and caring for the baby. When the baby cries, respond promptly and spend time with the baby, hug and smile at the baby. Being responsive, warm and loving to your baby can make your baby feel that he is cared for and deserves to be cared for. At this age of 1-3 years old, children have self-awareness and begin to slowly understand what they can do and what things will make them more valuable. To cultivate children\’s self-esteem, we can: Allow children to make decisions within their capabilities. For example, deciding what to play, what healthy food to eat for breakfast, etc., can make children feel like themselvesA sense of control, developing their confidence and self-awareness. Under the premise of safety, the child is allowed to refuse and the child is allowed to say \”no\”. For example, if a child doesn\’t want to wear an extra coat, then don\’t wear it. After all, not wearing this coat will not harm the child. If the child is cold and the child decides to wear it, it is not too late to wear it again. Children are allowed to explore their surroundings freely, but parents are there when they need help. For example, if children like to observe small animals such as ants crawling on the ground by themselves, then allow them to \”study\” them quietly. If ants crawl over, the children will be scared. At this time, parents can tell the children that it is okay. If children encounter some social situations that are relatively complex for them, parents should provide timely guidance, help and encouragement. For example, children cannot accept sharing or taking turns with other children because they are still slowly learning concepts such as who they are and what is theirs. Therefore, at this time, you can realistically use simple methods to let children understand how to get along with other children or take turns to play, such as \”It is the turn of child X to take this red building block. I am willing to play with child That\’s awesome.\” At this age, 3-5 years old, children like to compare themselves with others and ask themselves if they are the fastest, the biggest, or the most powerful. To cultivate children\’s self-esteem at this age, it is very important what parents do: give their children objective and balanced feedback. When praising children, praise them for their willingness to try and try hard, rather than praising them for taking first place or being the best. Doing so can encourage children to be willing to appreciate the success of others, rather than just thinking about being first. For example, \”You worked very hard in the competition just now. Mom saw that you were doing your best. Mom is proud of you. We also applauded the winning children and congratulated them.\” Let your children slowly understand that failure is a part of life. For example, first ask the child, \”Did you give your best during the game?\”, \”Did you like today\’s game activities?\”, instead of asking the child \”Did you win the game today?\”. Doing this allows the child to feel that adults are paying attention to them regardless of whether she/he wins or loses the game. Play a board or card game together. This kind of game that requires taking turns can help children slowly learn how to cooperate and get along with others, so that children can gain the skills and confidence to deal with various social situations. Let your children do as much housework as they can. For example, place the dishes and chopsticks, put dirty clothes into the box, etc. Allowing children to do these things can make them feel that adults trust them to do these things well, and doing these things well will also make the children feel good about themselves. Show interest in things your child enjoys doing. For example, go to the library to borrow books or picture books that your child likes to read, and accompany your child to do anything the child likes, such as building blocks, doing puzzles, blowing bubbles, playing ball, etc. Raising children well is not an easy task and often requires us to pay attention to every detail in life. Regarding the cultivation of children\’s self-esteem, I hope the above information is helpful.