How to overcome the problem of pampering in intergenerational education

During the summer vacation, many parents are busy with work and have to ask their children\’s grandparents to help take care of their children, which is what we often call \”intergenerational parenting\”. However, this has also caused the problem of many elderly people doting on their children and being overly accommodating to their children. What are the dangers of Zhou Hong\’s Appreciation Education Case Video Original Series 6VCD+mp3 \”spoiling across generations\”? Why are the elderly prone to spoiling problems? How should parents deal with the occurrence of \”intergenerational doting\”? Let\’s take a look – in life, are your children helped by his or her grandparents? When raising children, do grandparents often hold them in their hands for fear of falling and hold them in their mouths for fear of melting? Do you do everything for your children? Are you accommodating your children in everything? If your answer is yes, then parents should pay attention. \”Intergenerational pampering\” is very detrimental to the physical and mental health of children. They should avoid the pampering and pampering of children by the elderly. Why does the phenomenon of \”intergenerational doting\” exist? It is a relatively common phenomenon for the elderly to dote and indulge their grandchildren. Why does this happen? 1. Recover the feeling of being needed. After satisfying the requirements of their grandchildren, they can gain the sense of worth of being admired and needed, which satisfies their own self-esteem and sense of superiority. Therefore, as long as they have the opportunity, they will pamper or dote on them. Indulge your children. 2. The mentality of making amends. When the elderly were young and had regrets in the growth of their children, they wanted to make up for their debts to their grandchildren. When they were young, they may not have the time or energy to accompany and educate their children, or they may be too strict with their children, so they will pamper their grandchildren and place more of their hope and joy in life on their grandchildren. 3. Psychological pressure When the elderly take care of their children, they tend to be very kind to their children. Worried about the child getting sick, being too strict with the child, fearing that the child will be lost… fearful that the child will be dissatisfied with him or her children will have opinions about him because of his poor care. 4. The habit of doing everything by yourself. Many elderly people think that children are slower at doing things, so they simply do it for them, feeding them, helping them dress and do things for them. This often leads to children\’s egocentrism, inability to handle their own affairs independently, strong dependence, and at the same time, not paying much attention to other people\’s feelings and going their own way. The dangers of \”intergenerational pampering\” are first of all, self-centered. Children who have been pampered for a long time often only pursue self-perceived satisfaction. It is easy to lack sincerity in dealing with others, rarely consider the feelings of others, cannot distinguish right from wrong, and lack a sense of responsibility. Secondly, the ability to be independent is lost. Because the caregivers are overly pampering and protective, they are always afraid of their children getting hurt and bullied. The long-term cuddling and protection deprives the children of the opportunity to be independent. In the long run, the children lose the ability to be independent. Finally, poor frustration tolerance. No matter what the child\’s request is, parents or elders will immediately satisfy the child. This will make the child feel that everything can be obtained easily and lack the experience of fighting for life. What to do if \”intergenerational pampering\” occurs 1. Communicate with the elderly in a timely manner. As young parents, when they find that their parents pamper their children, they must first understand thePeople love their children, but they must avoid direct confrontation and quarrels in front of the children. Because not only will this not solve the problem, it will also make the children disrespect their elders even more. When parents and the elderly argue because of disagreements, never involve the children. Instead, carefully and patiently discuss and communicate with the elderly, explain to the elderly the dangers of doting on children, and discuss and communicate with them how to use better methods to help children grow. . 2. Take the initiative to assume the responsibility of raising children. In addition to patiently communicating with the elderly, the parents of the children must also take the initiative to assume the responsibility of raising the children and cannot be the hands-off shopkeepers. Parents of children must personally participate in the process of raising their children. Only in this way can problems in their children be discovered in time and proactive measures can be taken to adjust them as soon as possible. Of course, parents cannot attribute all their children\’s problems to the doting of their elders, and must analyze every problem objectively. Moreover, the elderly have their own lives, concepts and habits. We cannot force them to raise their children in our own way. If the elderly are willing to help, we should be grateful. 3. Distinguish responsibilities in \”separate generation raising\”. After the child is born, parents must let the elderly know that they are the child\’s guardian and that they have the right to educate and criticize the child. The elderly can raise and take care of their children together, but they cannot overprotect their children when their parents criticize them. If a child makes a mistake, the child must be allowed to face up to his mistake and correct it. 4. Let the children feel that love is not bottomless and selfish. Children need love to grow up, but the correct love is wise love, a love that is rational, bottom line and boundary, rather than unconditional love without principles, bottom line and unconditional love. And doting, parents and grandparents should prevent pampering and doting on their children, and also let their children learn to share love. Consensus gathers strength and the educational philosophy is consistent, and suitable methods can naturally be found. I hope that parents will spend more time with their children, so that children will not be overly attached to their grandparents, so that the elderly can enjoy a happy old age, and so that children can thrive in a love full of wisdom and rationality!