How to praise and encourage children so that they are willing to do the right thing

How should we praise our children so that they will become more and more willing to do the right things? Everyone needs praise, but children need it more than adults. why? Because their mental abilities are relatively weak and they are not sure whether they can survive to adulthood, the more their parents affirm them, the more confident they are that they can obtain more resources. But many parents worry that if they are praised too much, their children will become more and more proud. This is indeed the case, and the reason is that the child\’s praise is not specific enough and not in place, so he feels that he is very powerful and cannot focus on specific progress. He just feels good about himself as a whole, and he is in high spirits from the beginning. The older the child is, the less able he is to gain the value of his life through pale language such as \”You are great! You are great! You are amazing!…\” (it is barely possible in early childhood). So how can praise be more effective? Let’s take a look at the four specific ways to praise children that I have summarized. First, talk about the specific progress and changes you have seen, that is, you have to tell what things have been done well. Just saying \”smart and hard-working\” is too abstract. You have to point out the details that prove that he is smart and hard-working. For example: I see that you have become more and more focused on playing the piano recently, and sometimes you even forget to take a break and exceed our scheduled practice time. The more detailed the praise, the child will feel that his parents are really paying attention to him, and he will see many overlooked details, which proves that you really pay attention to him, really love him, and he is really valuable. If he is really valuable, he will not doubt that he will not live to adulthood. He will gradually believe that he will succeed, and then he will be willing to work hard for future success. Of course, he can also pay. why? Because his life value is high and his mental strength is strong, he can make this effort. Second, talk about the wonderful feelings these details bring to you. For example: \”You played this piece of music so beautifully that all my fatigue from the day disappeared. I really appreciate your concentration and hard work.\” This is to show: I not only see your concentration and hard work in practicing the piano, but I also feel that what you do is of great value to me and makes my fatigue disappear. I saw his efforts and value before, but now I have a better feeling about his efforts. This shows that I really see that he really creates value and that the child is really valuable. So he is the child that his parents want. This kind of child will definitely not be abandoned and will definitely be worthy of the parents\’ investment of resources. Then this child will become more and more confident. Scientific parenting books recommend 100 details on how to raise a great boy pdf. Third, point out the specific points of excellence. For example: \”When you were practicing the piano, especially the 20th to 30th bars, you played that part very accurately and in place. It was almost a sure thing. It seems that you have been making progress. Who can succeed if a kid like you doesn\’t succeed?\” ?\” The beautiful feeling I mentioned before is actually an abstract statement and not very certain. Although he has further affirmed the value of children, it is too abstract. Specifically, \”Bars 20 to 30, that part is played very precisely.\”\”Accurate, very accurate\” means that you are the valuable child, you are an amazing child, and you are the child who is always making progress. Who can succeed if a child like you does not succeed? Although I did not say these words, I Prove this. I am proving that I will definitely give you investment resources, because your approach will definitely succeed. Since you can succeed, I will definitely give you such resources. This is the beginning of cooperation. Fourth, use Summarize it in one word. For example: \”Perfect\”. This piece of music is perfect. There is no need to improve. Although there is room for improvement, don\’t stand from the perspective of an expert, but from the perspective of an ordinary person who does not understand piano. For example, that is \”perfect\”. When you say \”perfect\” at this time, it is simply a sublimation. A sublimation of the value of the child, rather than abstraction and nothingness, because you have already concretely proved it before, so this When the time comes to express this kind of abstract vocabulary, that is sublimation. By praising the child in this way, the child will become more and more willing to do the right thing.