How to use effective parent-child communication skills tool – face-to-face messaging

In family life, there are often disagreements and confrontations between parents and children. In the past two days, the parents who had been rehabilitated by Dexinhui learned a way of expressing information about face-to-face self during morning reading in Dexinhui. Everyone felt that this way of expression made both parties feel comfortable. However, some family members are still confused about this concept and application. Here are some interpretations of the interview information. I hope that everyone can calm down the family war by using the interview information correctly. 1. The basic concept of face-to-face information. The so-called face-to-face is face-to-face communication. This face-to-face is not a face-to-face questioning in the usual sense. The word \”face\” comes from Latin, which means forehead to forehead, face-to-face communication. My information means: the information is used to describe the parents themselves, and it is true; it does not blame or judge, that is, the parents truthfully express the troubles caused by their children\’s behavior. 2. When to use face-to-face messaging When parents are getting along with their children, if one parent is in a problem area, parents can use face-to-face messaging. The so-called problem area is when parents show dissatisfaction with their children\’s words and deeds and are troubled by their children\’s words and deeds. 3. The difference between \”my information\” and \”your information\” The opposite expression of \”my information\” is \”your information\”. Below we use several expressions of \”your information\” and the converted expression of \”my information\” to To experience their different application effects, let’s first look at examples of expressions of “you information”: 1. If you don’t eat well, what can you do? 2. You spilled water on the carpet and asked someone to clean it up for you. You are annoying people. 3. Go and turn on the light for me. In the same situation, use \”I information\” to express it as follows: 1. Baby, I am very worried when I see that you are not eating well. What should I do if you are not healthy? 2. You spilled water on the carpet, and I had to spend time cleaning it up. It made me very tired and angry. 3. I want you to turn on the light for me. The comparative effect of information expression in the above three situations is obvious. \”You information\” often contains judgments, accusations, preaching, orders, advice and sarcasm, etc., which can easily cause harm to others, cause arguments, resistance, or make the other party You feel shameless and have a sense of guilt and guilt; while \”I information\” expresses your feelings and experiences truly and sincerely, expresses your current situation and needs without judgment, and allows your children to understand your mood and feelings, so that your children can change voluntarily. No harm done. Therefore, in parent-child communication, it is advocated to use more \”I information\” and avoid using \”you information\”. 4. Components of face-to-face information A complete face-to-face information includes three parts: the child\’s behavior, the impact of the child\’s behavior on the parents, and the parents\’ feelings. 5. The specific use of the face-to-face information. Here are two examples to let everyone feel what the specific application of the face-to-face information is: 1. Baby, mom saw that the dishes and chopsticks you used for lunch were still on the dining table. I need to clean it up, I feel very irritated. 2. Honey, you didn’t get up at 7 o’clock in the morning. I was late for work because I was waiting to send you to school. I was criticized by the leader. I was very unhappy. The above two examples are presented according to the three parts of qualitative information.Expressed, the child\’s problem is pointed out and the need for expression is met, and the child does not feel uncomfortable at the same time. 6. Pay attention to the use of face-to-face messaging. In communication, when the child is in the problem area, parents learn to listen actively; when only one parent is in the problem area, we only choose face-to-face messaging! If both parties are in a problem area, it is recommended that parents shut up, pack up their emotions, or conduct physical isolation until their emotions stabilize before communicating. Private: [Completed] Uncle Kai’s story telling by Fu Lin P.E.T.’s insights on parent-child communication. Download all 54 lessons. 7. Other “I messages” expressions If parents are not in the problem area, they can also send the following three “I messages”. This is only for understanding and will not be described in detail. (1) Affirmative me information affirms what others have done, the impact it has on me and how I feel. (2) Preventive personal information. For example, to predict that something is going to happen, take precautions first. (3) Confessing personal information. Like, what do I like? What do I want? Only when you are trapped by a problem can you find a solution by expressing the problem correctly. Face-to-face information is a method that once you learn it, you can use it. I hope you will practice using my information more in your life, learn to respect each other and yourself when using my information, and solve problems easily in a harmonious family atmosphere.