If there are boys in the family, these three types of education should be done as early as possible

Since becoming a parent, I often wonder how to raise the children in front of me? It really doesn’t just happen by being fed and growing taller. A few days ago, when I was taking my son to buy vegetables at the vegetable market, I met a group of middle school students approaching. Walking at the front was a tall and handsome boy. Judging from the appearance, he is really a nice young man. But he held a cigarette in his hand and smoked it skillfully on the road as if no one else was watching. Behind him were three or five companions, and several boys were also smoking cigarettes. When my son saw it, he asked me, \”Dad, why do these brothers also smoke? Didn\’t you say you can\’t smoke in public places?\” At this time, I was really at a loss for words and didn\’t know what to say. \”Maybe they think it\’s fun! But you know smoking is bad, so you can\’t imitate them!\” \”I don\’t smoke, it will make me stupid.\” Fortunately, I told him this truth. But what about the future? Can he still consciously abide by it? Will you also smoke for fun when the adults are not around? What kind of child you raise has a lot to do with the caregiver. True parenting should be the responsibility of one life to another. We bring this little life into the world. Accompany them to understand the world bit by bit. If there are boys in the family, there are three types of education that should be done as early as possible. Character is always the most important education. Character is the soul of a person and the foundation of the world. If we simply focus on children\’s intellectual development and ignore character education, it is definitely putting the cart before the horse. There are many parents who think that \”children can be more relaxed when they are young and be more strict when they grow up\” and \”children will naturally become sensible when they grow up.\” Is this really true? There is a saying in China that \”you are older when you are three years old, and you are older when you are seven years old\”. From birth to three years old is the period of rapid physical and psychological development of children. Especially when they are young, the values ​​passed on by parents to their children have the most profound and direct impact. A few days ago, the family was watching \”Little Loli\’s Monkey God\” at home. When I saw that the uncle who did good deeds in the end was put in jail. The top police officials tried their best to imprison him permanently as a spy. But the police sergeant who knew the truth was troubled. He said that he had been fighting for the honor and security of the country his whole life and could not allow such a thing to happen. It is because of this kind of conscience that the uncle can return to his homeland. I sighed at that time: \”Fortunately, this little police chief has a conscience!\” \”Dad, what is conscience?\” \”It is conscience, what a person feels is right in his heart, and the choice a good person should make.\” I asked him what he would do Do? He said he would let the uncle go because he was a good person. \”Yes! You must be a good person. You see, that senior police chief is not a good person. He wants to harm others. Even if he is very capable and powerful, dad still doesn\’t like people like him, and everyone doesn\’t like him. But That little police chief, even that little unknown reporter, you see they have all earned respect just because they are good people! I also think they are great!\” The little guy looked at me with bright eyes. He said he must be a good person. In life, we often say that boys must be able to resist setbacks. Some mothers even said that after giving birth to a son, they thought it would be easier to take care of them. If you don\’t obey, you\’ll be spanked. You\’re not as delicate as a girl.I think boys can tolerate setbacks and are not afraid of being beaten. But in fact, boys are often more emotionally fragile than girls. I remember one time, my son wanted to watch TV. I asked him to turn on the TV while I was busy working in the study. After a while, he made a \”hum, ah\” sound in the living room, probably because he was angry. \”Dad, why can\’t this TV be played?\” I ignored it and let him solve it by himself. \”What\’s going on? Is the TV broken?\” \”Check it yourself. What\’s going on?\” I answered him at this time. Unexpectedly, after a while, he actually started crying there. At this time I put down what I was doing and went over to see what was going on. He sat on the sofa with red eyes. I can imagine his anger. I was finally able to watch TV for a while, but the screen was black. I didn\’t lose my temper. Because this is a sense of helplessness he has in response to difficulties, which makes him feel uncomfortable, so he needs to express it. Then let his emotions show. I checked and found out that the power supply was unplugged by my mother because of thunder. Then, I gave him guidance and calmly told him how to solve the problem. \”When you encounter difficulties, you must not cry, because crying can\’t help you find a solution. What you have to do is to find the reason, and then find a solution.\” He became quiet at this time, and he should have understood what I said. Of course, I know he will still encounter difficulties and cry. But I\’m willing to wait for him. At this time, you must remember to maintain a peaceful attitude. Because this is the key. When children encounter setbacks, they give up on themselves and cry, which often makes their parents angry. So violence is used to force children to face and act. He even pointed at the child\’s nose and said, \”You are worthless, so you just cry!\” While denying the child, he solved the problem all at once. I angrily said to the child, \”Look, you can\’t do such a simple thing. You tell me whether you are stupid or not.\” The result of this will only make the child think that you are really powerful, and I am just a bit Silly, that’s it from now on, just help me do it. Moreover, children suppress their emotions under the high pressure of their parents. However, the result of repression will only make him feel uncomfortable and create some wrong perceptions and assumptions about himself. Is this kind of beating and scolding education an education of frustration? Such frustrating education will only affect the child\’s psychological development. In the face of setbacks, what we want to convey to our children is to \”face it calmly and resolve it actively.\” Let children keep a sunny heart and face and analyze calmly. Because there are so many difficulties waiting for them in the world, many of which are beyond our imagination. If you don\’t face it with a sunny heart, you will really fall into the abyss of difficulties. You can also tell your children: \”There are always more solutions than difficulties. Think again and don\’t worry!\” \”When God closes a door, he will always open a window for you. What you have to do is to find it instead of being depressed.\” .\” Another thing that troubles parents the most is the education of rules. For example, boys are naughty and ignore rules. I often tell my mom to encourage boys to take risks and cultivate their courage. A mother told me that her son always likes to hit other children. No matter what he is afraid of, it makes him timid, but if he doesn’t care, he feels bad, what should he do? \”youBe sure to tell your children that this way of hitting is wrong. \”If the child wants to express his anger, he can shout it. If he wants to say hello, he can say it with his mouth. Remember to tell the child what to do. In real life, especially some old people, they especially spoil their grandchildren. Children. So just turn a blind eye, as long as the child does not suffer. This will become \”unprincipled spoiling.\” \”Our love for children cannot be conditional, but we must have principles for children\’s behavior. How to understand? For example, if a child makes a mistake, don\’t say: \”I don\’t love you anymore, you are a bad boy.\” \”This will make the child feel that the parents\’ love is conditional. But you can say: \”What you just did, I don\’t think is right.\” \”Then tell the child calmly what to do. If the rules are violated, then give a certain punishment. And when punishing, don\’t say I don\’t love you anymore. Instead, focus on the behavior itself and treat it according to the rules. Parents\’ love will Let children be willing to accept guidance instead of rejection. Parents\’ principles are the prerequisite for establishing children\’s sense of rules. Fromm said: \”In all love relationships, freedom is the most important. \”But freedom is not absolute. Can freedom be guaranteed without rules? In fact, children who are truly free are children who are conscious in their hearts. They have their own principles and directions. The same is true for us adults. Write this At the time of the article, Xiao Xiaoyu is 5 years old, which is the most difficult stage. Because this is the critical period for a child to transform from a toddler into a teenager. He will encounter many impulses and emotions that he cannot control… It\’s so ordinary and real. He will be a little willful and timid, but when I said he was afraid of the dark at night, he said he would protect me. He can also lose his temper, but he is also friendly and happy to treat others. Communication. In the process of growing up, I accompanied him to understand the world bit by bit. And in the process, I found that I was getting better and better.