If you have become a \”chatting to death\” type of parent that your children dislike, it\’s time to learn some skills.

How many parents and children are in the same room but have nothing to say, they love each other deeply but do not know each other, they long for contact but cannot find a bridge, they long for expression but have no language. ——Long Yingtai\’s \”Dear Andre\” In Long Yingtai\’s \”Mother\’s Day\”, his son Andre sent a website and a video – \”I\’m Bored Network\”, which has already received four thousand clicks. The theme is \”Typical Conversation with Mother\”. The author uses comic techniques and voices to quickly describe a conversation between himself and his mother: I went to visit my mother. We were spending time together in the kitchen, and she said, \”I cooked fish. You like fish, right?\” I said, \”Mom, I don\’t like fish.\” She said, \”You don\’t like fish?\” I said: \”Mom, I don\’t like fish.\” She said, \”It\’s tuna.\” I said, \”Thank you. I don\’t like fish.\” She said, \”I added celery.\” I said, \”I don\’t I like to eat fish.\” She said: \”But eating fish is very healthy.\” I said: \”I know, but I don\’t like to eat fish.\” She said: \”Healthy people usually eat a lot of fish.\” I said: \”I know , but I don’t eat fish.” She said, “People who live longer eat more fish than chicken.” I said, “Yes, Mom, but I don’t like fish.” She said, “I’m not saying that either. , you should eat fish every day, because eating too much fish is not good, and many fish may contain mercury.\” I said, \”Yes, Mom, but I won\’t worry about this problem, because I don\’t eat fish anyway.\” She He said: \”People in many civilized countries eat fish as their staple food.\” I said: \”I know, but I don\’t eat fish.\” Does this remind you of your daily life with your children? Or, at some point in the future, this is how we communicate with our children. I don’t know why, as children get older, they spend less and less time talking to their parents. The child who liked to talk non-stop while tugging on his mother\’s clothes slowly disappeared. When he grows up, the child would rather express his true thoughts to friends of the same age and the Internet than communicate with his parents. As Long Yingtai said: In the vast network of children – including emails, MSN, FACEBOOK, chat rooms, mobile text messages, etc., \”mother\” is classified by them as SPAM (trash) or \”recycle bin\” Go in that category. It makes no sense, but there\’s nothing you can do about it. Why do children no longer want to communicate with their parents when they grow up? Let’s listen to what the kids have to say: “My mom, she’s always concerned about my studies, and she asks me every day at dinner what I learned in school today, and you know what, it feels so bad, like When I was eating dinner, it was like I was going through a learning experience from beginning to end!\” \”Chat with your parents, and by the end of the conversation you will find that they always just want to prove that they are right, and that their children are all wrong. I am right just so that we can do as they ask!\” \”I caught a cold. My mother didn\’t care first, but criticized me: I asked you to wear more clothes, why don\’t you wear more clothes? Now you are stupid! Occasionally I put myself When I tell them my thoughts, what they respond to is indiscriminate opposition.\” It turns out that this is how we \”chat to death\” with our children. In fact, communicating with children itself isA knowledge is a skill that needs to be learned. We cannot wait until our children grow up to learn, because it will be difficult to open the door of the heart that has been closed for a long time. Only by learning and mastering communication skills from now on and applying them to daily life can this kind of good communication throughout the day allow us to grow into a parent who can be relied on and trustworthy, helping our children cope with the increasingly heavy academic workload and the increasingly complex society. grow in. We give you these six effective skills for parent-child communication. By learning these skills and mastering the timing and methods of communicating with your children, you will find that opening your child\’s heart is actually not as difficult as you imagined. Talk in the gaps. Remember what you were doing the last time you communicated with your children? I guess the answer is something like: the walk or drive to school, a barbecue together, bath time, and maybe bedtime. On these occasions and opportunities, children and parents are in parallel time and space, and they will feel more relaxed and open up their chat boxes more easily. Some parents think that to talk to their children, they must find a special time and sit face to face and have a good talk. But in fact, children are more willing to open up their hearts when doing things with their parents. This is what I mean, in the \”gaps\” of life. \”Find time to communicate. Establish a talking style. You know that children have their own way of learning. In fact, children also have their own style of talking. For example, some children are full of energy as soon as they get up and chatter non-stop. Some children look like they haven\’t woken up before going to school, but as soon as they arrive at school, they become unstoppable talkers. Even among children in the same family, it is possible that one prefers a conversational style with prompt responses, while the other prefers a quiet and deep-flowing conversational style. We should pay attention to our children\’s speaking style and adjust our \”talking style\” when communicating with them based on their habits: 15 minutes of talking on the road or meditation time before going to bed is the first step in establishing your style. Be true to yourself and face your child with your true emotions. Don\’t overreact, and don\’t focus on being a superior therapist. When your children feel anxious or panicked, your affirmation, emotional expression, and timely feedback are crucial to them. But in daily life, we should also pay close attention to our children and maintain empathy with them so that we can respond to them empathetically. You know, in any conversation, we are often willing to share more when faced with a sincere response, and this applies to children as well. Encourage and train children to express emotions. We often focus on children\’s academic studies, but ignore that they also need emotional expression. Telling a complete story is a manifestation of this ability. When we listen to children telling stories, we can sometimes slow down and ask questions, such as \”Who was that?\” \”What did they say?\”… These questions can make the children feel that you are really listening and interested in the story. very interested. Just like someone said \”Love is intense attention\”, our children can tell if we are paying attention to the stories they are telling us. I remember a six-year-old girl said to me: \”I want my mother\’s undivided attention.\” \”You mean, I don\’t want my brothers and sisters to distract my mother?\” \”No,\”She said, \”I just want my mom to be with me and not think about 50 other things.\” Start with your own experiences. If you want your children to open up, start with some of your own experiences. For example, at dinner, take some time to talk about your day. I guarantee that your children will interrupt you. Your personal experience is just an opening statement, and its purpose is to guide the children to recall what happened three hours ago. . For example, if you say: \”I had an argument with a colleague at work today…\” your child may immediately respond: \”So-and-so and I also had a little conflict on the playground.\” Start with your own experience. It also means not torturing children. Endless questions like “How was school?” and “What did you learn today?” are absolute conversation-killers. Some Advice for Children Children of any age want to find a sense of direction. After your child has finished telling their story and you have responded well, you should then talk to them about whether they would handle it differently if they encounter the same situation next time. Ask your children what they think and actively give your suggestions, but don’t use a preachy way or make long speeches. Start with something like, \”I know my experience is very different from yours, and it\’s a different time now,\” because even when children are young, they need independent space to think and find the best solutions. Tell them: I can\’t make decisions for you about whether to share toys and secrets with so-and-so, but I can make some suggestions…\” Effective suggestions can help children understand your position, and they will feel closer to you. I am also willing to open more of my inner world to you. I believe that even if you only follow some of these six parent-child communication skills, you will definitely see significant changes. We all love our children deeply, None of us are willing to love each other deeply but not know each other, and end up becoming the most familiar strangers. Since communication can bring us closer to our children, let you understand him, and let him understand you better, why don’t we How about learning and mastering its skills? Moreover, the sooner you master communication skills, the sooner you can establish a good relationship with your children for barrier-free communication, making the chat between you and your children more and more \”live\”. So, let us Let’s try it together!

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