If you want your children to become better and better, mothers must know how to become “bad”

As a mother, you need to learn to put a knife in your heart. What does \”a knife in the heart\” mean? Even if I can watch my child suffer, even if I feel extremely distressed, I can still stand behind him and watch him stagger forward. What we call \”enduring hardship\” is not the narrow \”hard life\” or \”suffering poverty\”, but the pain of growing up. Kazuo Inamori once said: Poverty does not mean suffering, poverty means poverty, and suffering does not mean the ability to tolerate poverty. The essence of enduring hardship is the ability to focus on a certain goal for a long time. Especially when children grow up, they need this ability to \”endure hardship\”. They don\’t know anything, so they have to learn everything slowly. They learn to eat, learn to walk, learn to sleep independently, learn to tie their shoes, learn to interact with others… During the learning process, they fell, broke their skin, and were beaten by others. Bullied, these are the pains of growing up. If the quilt is not folded neatly, help him fold it; if the shoelaces cannot be tied, help him tie them; if he falls while riding a bicycle, help him up; when the child is sad, go to coax him, hug him… be a good person for the child. It is easy to be a sheltered mother, but it is very, very difficult to be a mother who has a knife in her heart and watches her children suffer. As a mother, she has to bear her own discomfort, bear her inner pain, and accompany him to grow up instead of helping him grow up. This is a very big test for mothers. Why do many parents want to control their children? I am just afraid that my children will suffer. How to make your children fall in love with learning: The Complete Collection of Top Health Preservation Records. I wonder if you have seen the movie \”The King of Soul Singer\”. This movie is a true story, telling the glorious and legendary life of American jazz and rock music figure Ray Charles. Ray Charles is an African American musician. He was born in a poor town in Georgia, USA, but poverty was not his only hardship. At the age of seven, he became blind due to glaucoma. There is a scene in the movie: the blind little Charles bumped and ran around the house, kept falling and wrestling, and the pain was so unbearable that he cried and shouted: \”Mom, mom, help me, help me , help me!\” His mother stood in a corner of the room, her face full of tears, but she just looked at her son silently without saying a word. Put a knife in your heart, watch the child suffer, hold your own heart, stand behind the child, silently watch him fall, and transform worry, anxiety, and distrust into letting go, belief, and encouragement. This is love! This is real love! This is a higher level of maternal love! However, this is not easy to do. When a child asks for help, our mother\’s instinct drives us to protect the child and prevent him from suffering. For example, when a child learns to cook clumsily, we are afraid that his hand will be cut off, and we are afraid that he will burst from the oil. We will be anxious and nervous, pointing fingers at the side, and finally the child will lose interest. We will take over naturally and say: \” This kid is so squeamish.” Letting go is fighting our instincts. Can you be such a mother? When a child is bullied, instead of rushing out to support him immediately, he should regard being bullied as an essential experience in life, and encourage children to learn to face it bravely on their own instead of hiding behind their parents. When a child fails, don’t impatiently start teachingExperience, help him seek help, but \”stand by\” and watch him fall and get up again and again, because we know that failure is the most valuable experience for children on the road to growth, and it is the brick at the foot of success. When a child comes crying for help, instead of rushing to solve the problem for him, let him try again. …Sometimes, we even think that such a mother is very cruel. How can she treat her child like this? However, there is no wind and rain that parents can completely block, and the wind and rain that is blocked may be the source of strong wings. Blocking the wind and rain will destroy the wings of flying. Every child must take responsibility for his or her own life. The girl is going to study abroad, and her mother wants to train her to learn how to cook so that she will not go hungry no matter where she goes. But at the beginning, the girl would rather not eat than study. Seeing her like this, with her mother beside her, she was struggling and suffering in her heart, but she thought she had to endure it, because she would definitely not be able to stay with her daughter forever and cook every meal for her. It is impossible for anyone. It’s about taking care of yourself. The girl was finally willing to take action. At first, she made a mess, but the mother resisted the urge to intervene and let the child play as much as he wanted. Later, the girl became more and more skilled at cooking and found the joy of cooking. We all want to raise a child who has the ability to take care of himself independently. This ability cannot be expressed but demonstrated. The process of doing it was staggering at first, barely doing it, then became more proficient, and finally became very proficient. Mom has to endure this process. It is very easy to be a mother who makes your children happy and feels comfortable within yourself. However, smooth sailing and comfort will not bring about growth. Children can become full-fledged only after stumbling and experiencing various experiences. Because no ability is produced purely in joy and pleasure. The ability to face wind and rain is cultivated in pain and frustration. If you don’t endure hardship now, you will surely have hardship in the future. The growth of a child is a complex process. How does a mother determine when to support and when to let go? At every moment, return to the goal of growth: Will what I say and do help the child\’s growth? If it helps, even if you feel very uncomfortable at the time, you have to bear the pain yourself when you think about your child being able to live alone in the future. This pain is something you as a mother must endure, and it is something your children must experience as they grow up. Every child is just beginning to toddle. If he falls, help him immediately. If this happens every time, the child will never learn to walk. He must walk the road by himself. We certainly cannot hold the child all the time and help him walk all the way. If you hold the child, the child will never learn to walk. As a child grows up, everything he needs to learn has a toddler process. Parents should help their children accept the process of psychological toddlerhood, help them become more patient and resilient as they grow, and move towards maturity and independence step by step. A truly capable mother should have the goal of \”cultivating a child who can bear the responsibility of his own life\”. In everything he does and every word he says, he must think about whether it can help his child to face the storms of life and navigate the ups and downs on his own. The ability to fluctuate the world? Click \”Like\” forIn order to help children grow up, enduring the inner pain is a more responsible kind of maternal love.

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