It turns out that this kind of family is the best family of origin

A person is inextricably linked to his family of origin, and this connection may affect his life! When she was ten years old, she returned to her mother for the first time, leaving her grandmother, who had raised her for many years, and starting a real \”family life\” with this strange yet familiar woman. They don\’t have a house and live with relatives, so they need to pay special attention to their relatives\’ looks. My mother is an emotional woman. She doesn\’t do a little bit of housework well, and she doesn\’t say anything right. She rarely even preaches, and she beats her every time. My father and my mother have been separated for fifteen years, one in Shanghai and the other in Wuhan. The mother goes to work during the day and comes back to serve grandma and cook for relatives at night. The huge pressure of life and the state of separation make the mother impatient and irritable. The communication between mother and daughter is pitiful. The most common words are: \”If you keep doing this, I will throw you away.\” Go out and don\’t come back.\” This feeling of loneliness and sadness remained unforgettable until she became a mother. When the first man appeared in her life and pursued her crazily, she didn\’t even think twice about marrying him in a flash marriage. Because she couldn\’t enjoy her mother\’s tender care when she was a child, the \”inner vow\” she made subconsciously was \”I will definitely Don\’t be such a mother.\” She determined to give her children adequate love and care in the future and to be their lifelong friends. Each of us begins the process of growing up with the imprint of our original family; throughout our lives, we carry the shortcomings of our original family with us to find, repair, and heal. However, you must have expected that her marriage would not be as happy as she hoped. The consequence of a flash marriage is that when the personalities and differences between the two people are exposed, the cracks in the marriage will become wider and wider. During countless bloody quarrels, the child suffered as much as she did back then. She and her petty husband also became the child\’s original family, leaving an unhappy mark on the child\’s childhood. Children cannot choose their parents. More and more articles are written about the impact of \”original families\” on people. Most of them blame the cold, violent or low self-esteem family atmosphere for bringing negative and negative effects on children. But the life of the original family is the first life scene that a child has as soon as he is born and cannot be changed. How can the family of origin provide a healthy environment for children to grow up, and how can they cut off the negative influence of past parents’ family of origin? The best love a father has for his children is a mother who loves them well. The best love a mother has for her children is a father who appreciates and respects her children. They can be together or apart, but not without love. Harvard University research has found that a person is born with two parents. The first direction of development is intimacy, and the second is independence. Mothers have natural advantages and responsibilities in cultivating their children\’s intimacy, while fathers are responsible for cultivating their children\’s independence. ★Care for each other in front of children. In family relationships, the relationship between husband and wife comes first, and the relationship between parents and children comes second. The relationship between husband and wife is the foundation of the family. An American mother came to Qingdao, China to work and was rated as an outstanding mother by the Qingdao Women\’s Federation. She recalled that as a child, she once asked her father what would be the best gift for her. The father thought for a long time and said that he would always love his mother. She said that she understood through her life\’s experience that her father\’s love is the most precious gift. ★Work in front of children Children grow up watching their parents’ backs. From the father, the child observesWhat is a husband? In the mother, the child will understand the mother\’s responsibility. Think about what it means to be independent and brave, and what it means to be gentle and understanding. Work in front of children and guide them on what kind of work attitude and habits they should have, and personally influence their behavior and thinking. ★Communicating with children and connecting with parents are children’s natural psychological needs. Many parents rarely communicate with their children from the perspective of their children when encountering problems. They often use an “adult” perspective and tone of command to complain and take responsibility. But in the eyes of children, parents are the first door for them to understand the world. Any questions will be answered by parents, especially when children make mistakes or are confused. At this time, if parents can analyze the problem with them from the perspective of their children, face it Provide guidance on solutions to problems, and children will think that each other is equal and friendly. The parent-child relationship pattern in childhood is inextricably linked to the career, love and marriage, and parent-child relationship in adulthood, just like reincarnation after reincarnation. This is not \”fatalism\”. In fact, the parent-child relationship determines the starting point of our lives. We can control the end of our lives and the path of our lives. The premise is that we must be able to self-awareness and self-awakening. , cut off the thinking and behavioral patterns brought about by the unfortunate native family. May we give our children a better family of origin through our own efforts.