It\’s just that you don\’t understand, introverted children have more trouble!

The mother of my daughter’s classmate suddenly wanted to add me on WeChat, so she approved. The first thing she said when she came up was, \”Our child said that his favorite is your daughter, so I want to have a chat with you.\” After chatting for a while, I understood what she meant. Their children like to play with us very much and hope to play together when we have time. There is no reason to refuse such a request. It is a good thing for children to play together. After her daughter came home, she specifically asked her if the child was her friend. She said firmly no, and then listed some of her good friends in kindergarten, about a dozen of them, but not this child. Due to various reasons, the wish for the two children to play together has not yet come true. I usually paid special attention to this child. The child is very outstanding and energetic, but from the activity photos sent by the kindergarten teacher, it is rare to see her smiling openly and showing a little reserve. Later, I talked to her mother again. Her mother was a little worried. She said that the child was introverted and was fine at home. He never called on others when he went out. He was timid and liked to play by himself at home, so he thought of letting her play alone. Go out and play with children more and become more lively. I replied, \”Actually, introversion and extroversion are a kind of personality. Each personality has a certain group of people, and each has its own advantages. As long as it does not affect your life, you should not deliberately let your children change anything.\” The mother of the child was still very worried. I always feel that this kind of personality will affect the child\’s future development. I sighed secretly. Fortunately, my daughter\’s personality didn\’t follow mine, otherwise it might be harder than other children in the future. I probably realized that I had a bad personality when I was very young. I struggled with my personality for nearly thirty years, and I didn’t let go until I was thirty years old. When I was a child, I was unwilling to call or greet people. I liked adventurous activities. I looked like a boy, but I would blush when talking to people. In the summer in the countryside, when there is less time for farming, everyone likes to gather in the shade to chat, gossip, and have fun. From my home to my grandma\’s house, I have to pass by such a crowded gathering place every day. I usually don\’t say hello or join in the fun, but just walk straight past it. One day, my mother took me to this place to enjoy the cool air. At this time, a large group of ladies and aunties gathered around me. Someone said half-jokingly, \”Your XXX (my name) avoids coming here. He never comes over or talks to us. Are you afraid of what will happen to us?\” Others echoed, \”Yeah, yeah, So shy.\” My face was red at the time and I felt like I had done something wrong. Until my mother said, \”Isn\’t that so-and-so in your family like this?\” They just stopped talking and laughing. From about that time on, I felt that I had a bad personality. I didn’t take the initiative to ask people for help, I didn’t get along with others, and I wasn’t lovable. With this kind of self-awareness, when I see people in the future, instead of calling people, I will hide even more. The older I get, the less willing I am to go out, and I am afraid of interacting with people and saying hello. After going to school, I was not affected at all. Like other students, he has his best friends and loyal playmates. He was even liked by the teacher because of his good academic performance. So I like itWhen I am not in school, I am afraid of meeting unfamiliar adults and strangers. Later, when I started working, people kept telling me that there was something wrong with your personality and that I needed to change it. Why don\’t you take the initiative, why don\’t you talk more, why don\’t you find someone to talk to? I met a colleague at my first job and later became a good friend who talked about everything during that period. She and I have completely different personalities. She is cheerful, proactive and enthusiastic, and can quickly become familiar with her, whether she is the owner of the canteen or a stranger she meets on the road. Every time we go out together, she says, \”Leave the dealings to me. This is what I like to do.\” She has been an acquaintance since she was a child. In the community, she will take the initiative no matter who she meets. She greets people warmly and politely, so she has been a popular person since she was a child. After working, she quickly became familiar with most people, from leaders to students, male and female colleagues, she accepted them all. We are not in the same department. When we meet our leader on the road, she can quickly strike up a conversation, while I am often the silent person next to her. At that time, I envied her and thought it would be great to be someone like her. But no matter how hard I try, I can\’t be her. Even though on the surface, I can play with people and mingle with them, I still can\’t be like her, and I don\’t have the enjoyment she does. I once disliked myself and felt that I had a bad personality, so I made every effort to change myself. Because of this, I once had a deep sense of inferiority. As an introvert, in addition to the normal efforts, there is also the struggle with myself. This went on for many years until I read some books and experienced some things. My thoughts gradually matured and I realized that introversion is just a personality. Introverts also have their own way of life, and such a personality does not cause any harm to themselves. What a huge impact, even the people I once envied became more and more ordinary in my eyes, and I slowly felt relieved. When someone says that such a personality is bad, I no longer get nervous or want to defend myself, I just smile and continue to live my life in my own way. When I chatted with a classmate, she was also a person with a similar personality to me. She said that she once felt that she was a failure. She even believed in Master Hsing Yun\’s words and believed that introversion was one of the three mountains that weighed on her. It was not until she was thirty years old that she figured out that I am who I am, why should I change? . I agree with what she said, acceptance and acceptance are more important than change. In the eyes of most people, introversion is a character flaw. Parents strive to make their children extroverted, and introverted children are constantly making various efforts and struggles to become another version of themselves. It’s just that few people tell them that this is just a kind of personality, and there are more innate elements. If it is not formed due to acquired reasons, there is no need to fight with yourself. Innate personality cannot really change through hard work. Those who claim to have changed are either superficial or originally outgoing. The problem is that many introverted children did not have this understanding when they were young, and their parents rarely had this understanding. When they were young, they felt that this was a flaw. Everyone around is like thisSay, even the most trustworthy parents think so, don’t they? Therefore, they added an additional task to themselves, which is to change this personality. Fortunately, some people reconcile with themselves when they grow up, while some people live in such a shadow their entire lives. The scary thing is not having an introverted personality, but feeling that there is something wrong with your own personality. On the surface, extroverts find it easier to interact with people and are more likely to succeed. But there is no data to show that extroverts are more successful and have better lives than introverts. Only by learning to accept yourself, know yourself, and reconcile with yourself can you let go of a heavy burden and go into battle easily. There is no good or bad character. If parents can realize this when dealing with their children and discover more of their children\’s strengths instead of strengthening their children\’s bad self-awareness, their children may have an easier life. External public opinion and misinformation are too powerful. Without the support of parents, how long will it take for children to confidently say, I like myself like this, I like myself.