Kids love angry how to do

When a child is unhappy, he grunts and refuses to listen to anything he says; when things are not done as he is told, he becomes angry and mischievous; when he is angry, he even learns to slam the door… Have you ever experienced any of these situations? When a child loses his temper, adults are often frightened: he is quite young, but his temper is not small. We also often hear parents scolding children: \”Why are you crying? Shut up!\” \”You\’ve grown up, haven\’t you? Have you learned how to throw things?\” \”If you keep yelling, just stand outside!\” \”Obviously you can do it! Isn\’t that right? You still have a temper? Who are you angry at?\” When children have emotions, some parents react by becoming angry and angry, threatening their children with intimidation and anger, and stopping and suppressing their children\’s emotional expression. In addition to \”violent restraint\”, when a child loses his temper, if you try to reason with him, he will not listen; if you ignore him, he will keep crying and whimpering; if you break the confrontation and give in, you are afraid that the child will behave like this again next time… It seems that there is no One can choose. Being an adult is too difficult. To be honest, it is completely normal for children to have emotions and lose tempers. Everyone has emotions, but even adults find it difficult to control them! Losing your temper is a way to vent your emotions, just like when you are sad and want to eat sweets, when you are anxious about shopping, or when you are emo and post on Moments. The younger the child, the less likely he is to hide his emotions. He will laugh when he is happy, cry when he is sad, cry when he is angry, and cry when he is scared. Instead, as he grew older, he began to have different reactions, such as throwing things and yelling to express his emotions when he was angry. A child\’s tantrum itself is harmless, but preventing a child from losing his temper and causing a buildup of emotions is harmful. This is the same attitude we have towards adults losing their temper: adults can lose their temper, and it’s normal. It\’s just that adults\’ brains are developed, and there are indeed better ways to replace losing temper. Adults who do not allow their children to lose their temper, often feel regretful about losing their temper, and do not handle their own and their children\’s emotions correctly will lead to bigger problems. 1. It’s okay to lose your temper, it’s no big deal. Many people have always misunderstood losing their temper. They think losing their temper means having a bad temper, and being angry means being unreasonable. In fact, anger is one of the normal emotions of human beings. Losing your temper is a way of expressing your emotions and needs. Tell your children that there is no shame in being angry. You can be angry with your parents, you can be angry with your friends, you can be angry with yourself. When my son arranges the cards crookedly, he will tell me: \”Mom, I feel very itchy and want to stamp my feet or tear things.\” \”Yes, you are angry! You wanted to arrange the cards, but you didn\’t do it. , you will get angry. It’s okay, anyone can be angry.” Helping children identify emotions and allowing children to be angry is the first step in teaching children to be angry well. I wasn\’t allowed to be angry when I was a kid. Whenever he gets angry, he will be scolded by his parents. Therefore, I learned to observe words and emotions very early. I have always believed that anger is bad and wrong, and I dare not express it, nor will I mention my dissatisfaction, discomfort, and needs. I live in a dormitory at university, and the roommate closest to me would lie in bed and make phone calls every night after turning off the lights. I was very angry, but I couldn\’t say a word: \”You disturbed me.\”. \”Yes, it was so obvious that when others did something wrong and I was right, I couldn\’t show my anger. I couldn\’t blatantly and confidently say anything to protect my right to a good rest. That was the first time I felt: Angry and Losing your temper is also a skill. Parents should respect their children\’s feelings, teach their children to accept their own emotions, and respect the rationality and necessity of the existence of negative emotions. 2. Why do children lose their temper? \”You are the best child\” The book \”Toys for Children\” says: \”Children are willful and lose their temper because their physical and emotional development exceeds their own communication abilities. \”A child\’s tantrums are a manifestation of the gradual physical and psychological development. As he grows, he will have his own ideas and needs, but his ability cannot keep up temporarily and his needs cannot be realized, which will cause frustration and powerlessness in his heart. This For children in this stage, the development of their rational brain lags behind that of their emotional brain. Many feelings that children cannot describe in words will be expressed by losing their temper. To sum up: Because I have needs, but I can’t express them. Only losing my temper can make me feel better. You see me. 3. See the needs behind children’s tantrums. \”Nonviolent Communication\” mentions: Behind every kind of anger, there are hidden our expectations and needs. To express anger is to fully integrate these expectations and needs. The need is expressed. My son has been practicing badminton serve recently, but he always fails to hit the ball. In addition, the weather is hot these days, so he stamps his feet from time to time: \”Mom! I can\’t even hit the ball! \”I was even on the verge of crying, my eye circles were red. \”Yes, I\’m so angry! Every time I threw the ball, I thought I was going to hit it, but it always failed. But this ball is not easy to hit. You can observe the mother, but there are many times when she can’t hit her. \”When I identified the reason for his anger and told him his expectations, he seemed to be able to accept \”not being able to hit\”. Of course, don\’t expect to get him to manage himself well once or twice. Emotions. During many days and many times of practice, he will be disappointed and lose his temper because his ability does not match his expectations. The way this child loses his temper is just red eyes and a grunt. The sound will be lost in my constant thumbs up. Whether it is a mild temper tantrum or a child who only yells, slams the door, cries, and rolls when angry, it is just that he cannot express his emotions correctly. 4. Learn to vent emotions correctly. There are many kinds of human emotions. We can accept positive emotions, but we always reject, suppress, ignore or even ridicule negative emotions. Compared with depression and sadness, anger and anger are even less acceptable. Negative emotions. But what we have to do is not to suppress or eliminate emotions, but how to coexist peacefully with emotions. This is a big topic that many people cannot figure out in their lifetime. Aristotle once said: \”Everyone can get angry. No big deal. But how to lose your temper appropriately at the right time, in the right way, to the right person is difficult. \”(1) You can talk about your emotions. For younger children, they do not have the ability to accurately perceive what kind of emotion they are feeling, nor can they describe the reasons for such emotions. Even older children may not be able to express their emotions. yesAshamed to express. In daily life, we can express our children\’s emotions for them, and then guide them to express their emotions themselves. \”Aren\’t you happy that you can\’t hit the ball? I\’m just like you. Every time I try many times and fail, I feel sad.\” \”Aren\’t you happy to be praised by the teacher?\” \”Mom comes home. I didn\’t hug you right away, so you\’re angry?\” \”We\’re about to go on stage. Your little hands are cold. Are you nervous? If you\’re nervous, try taking a deep breath.\” At the beginning or for very young children, You need to model it, say it in words, and the child will respond \”yes\” or nod. Don\’t underestimate such a sentence. It can not only reflect the respect and understanding of parents for their children, but also serve as an example to their children: In addition to physical movements, the way to express emotions can also be language. Over time, children will slowly learn this way of expressing emotions. (2) In addition to \”talking\”, there are many ways to vent emotions. The premise is not to damage items, neither to yourself nor to others. For example, you can take a deep breath and count from 1 to 10; you can have a pillow fight; you can also draw a picture; you can agree to hug each other when you are angry, etc. When children take the initiative to express their emotions through language, parents should respond to their children\’s emotional expressions. \”I don\’t want to go to the bathroom by myself, I\’m scared.\” At this time, don\’t deny the child\’s feelings: \”What are you afraid of? Don\’t be afraid.\” Don\’t ignore the child\’s expression: \”What are you afraid of in your own home?\” \”Just a few steps away. , what are you afraid of!\” Instead, help the child relieve this emotion. You can turn on all the lights, go to the bathroom with your child, understand what the child is afraid of, talk about how you feel when you are afraid, and how to deal with it. (3) It doesn’t matter if you immerse yourself in it for a while. There is no need to rush out of negative emotions. Negative emotions are inevitable for everyone. Children are no exception. They need to experience and feel the process of their inner being changing from calm to disturbed and unhappy, and finally moving towards calm through venting or self-digestion. This is good for children. Of course we hope that whatever we do will make the child get better immediately, but in the end what makes the child get better is his inner feeling, not our earnest hope of \”getting well soon\”. 5. Sometimes, just a hug can calm your child. Regardless of whether the child has learned how to \”get angry\” now or not, the child must firmly believe in one thing: Mom and Dad love me. When a child is in a bad mood, a word of acceptance, a hug, a hand holding, a pat on the back, and a parent\’s attitude can make the child feel accepted and loved more than reasoning or expressing. Emotions are more important. Please let your children know that you can be sad and depressed without smiling all the time. Crying is not weakness. Losing your temper is not unreasonable or unruly. How you feel matters. There is no need to be ashamed of this. No matter what, you are loved.