Love that \”lying\” child well

Children\’s tendency to lie is a problem faced by almost all parents. A few days ago, a mother left a message saying that her child put food she didn\’t want to eat into the bowls of her classmates when eating at school. The classmate put the dishes back again, and finally the two of them quarreled. The teacher asked who did it first? As a result, the child refused to admit it and said that his classmates did it first. The teacher told the mother that the child was here. Another mother said that her child in elementary school took money from a classmate, but she said he picked it up, but refused to admit that he took it. Parents feel helpless when faced with their children\’s lying behavior. Be honest, did you ever lie during your childhood? I think the answer for most people is yes. Lying is something that everyone should experience. Lying is certainly not a good virtue. But in many helpless situations, some lies are indeed helpless. The deception and lies in the adult world are certainly disgusting. But in the world of children, lying is not what we understand. Never, never indiscriminately label children who lie as bad children. Children lie mostly because they are afraid of punishment from their parents. A mother left a message in the background saying that her child likes to lie. He clearly painted the walls at home, but he said it was his sister who painted them. It was obviously him who broke the cup, but he said it was grandpa who broke it. In fact, I often encounter this kind of thing. A few days ago, when Xiao Xiaoyu was at school, her mother used a stick to teach her because she didn\’t want to get up in the morning. He dropped it on the ground as he left home. I always thought it was his mother who got angry and dropped it on the ground. I found out it was him when I asked him at night. At that time, I asked: \”Did you throw it on the ground?\” \”It wasn\’t me! It really wasn\’t me.\” \”Did my mother do it? Or it grew legs on its own and ran away.\” \”I don\’t know!\” I know he didn\’t dare to say it because he was afraid that I would punish him. So I said, \”If you tell dad the truth, I won\’t punish you, but if it was really you who did it, and dad finds out, and you don\’t admit it, then I will really punish you.\” \”I did it.\” \”Well, this time dad forgives you, and you can admit it, which is very good, and be an honest child.\” In this way, he will not be afraid to tell the truth to me in the future. Whether children can tell the truth should largely depend on their parents\’ attitude towards their wrongdoings. If parents take teaching or punishment too seriously, children will become fearful. I can say with certainty that the more severe you are, the more likely your child will lie, and it will become more serious each time. Philosopher Bertrand Russell said, \”Children\’s dishonesty is almost always the result of fear.\” Under severe pressure from their parents, many children will give in and tell a lie in the direction their parents expect. Children often confuse imagination with reality. Such lies only express the wishes in the heart and have nothing to do with the child\’s character. I remember that Xiao Xiaoyu read \”The Rat Brother Who Broke the Cup\” when he was more than 2 years old. He liked that book very much. I guess it was because it told him what he wanted. When the little mouse broke the cup, he was afraid of being scolded by his mother, so he immediately made up a lot of \”lies\” in his head, saying that other animals wanted to drink water and broke it. But in the end, the little mouse bravely told his mother that he broke the cup, and his mother praised him.An honest child. When a child reads the first part, he will not think that it is a \”lie\”, but instead think that it is a good storyline and an imagination that belongs to the child\’s world. Therefore, many times when children lie, they cannot tell whether they are lying or not. They have rich imaginations. Sometimes he will tell you that he saw an elephant grow wings and fly in the sky, and sometimes he will say that the things he broke were broken by other small animals or aliens. I never believe that any child is born lying. If any child really likes to lie about everything. Often there is something wrong with the parenting style of the parents. As long as you observe carefully, you will find that it has a lot to do with the environment in which he grew up. For example, some families have strict discipline and require children to follow the rules in everything. What should I do if I accidentally violate it? Then conceal the facts, say what your parents like to hear, and do what your parents like to do. If this happens for a long time, it will only distort the child\’s personality and form a pleasing personality. Or as you grow older, your relationship with your parents may become more and more tense. How to help the kid in Wenqian who stole money from his classmates? First of all, parents should pay attention to whether his property rights awareness has been formed. For example, when he was two or three years old, did his parents respect his property rights and tell him not to take other people\’s things casually? Also pay attention to his pocket money and consumption behavior. Why would he need to take money? What did you get the money for? Another point is, did the parents pay attention to the inner activities of their children when they described this incident? Is it joy or shame? Was it a funny prank, or was it done on purpose? …In fact, this requires parents to spend a lot of effort to find out the reasons and then provide guidance. Instead of blaming or labeling the child as a liar. Children who lie need more attention and love from their parents. Children need their parents\’ company and attention, and they also long for their parents\’ acceptance and help. Many \”lies\” in children\’s world can be avoided through parental guidance and acceptance.