My child cannot afford to lose, should I always let him win?

I want to be number one no matter what I do. Like to emphasize the fact that \”I won.\” Even though he obviously didn\’t win, he still said he won. If you realize that others have beaten you, you will be unhappy. Like challenging tasks. If the task is too difficult to complete, you will be so angry that you will break the jar. Su Bao basically hit all of the above. Is your baby like this too? Today’s article is going to discuss this type of baby. In \”Peppa Pig\”, Peppa Pig has a bit of this kind of character. In the episode \”The Quarrel\”, Peppa Pig plays cards with Suzy the Sheep. When Suzy wins twice in a row, Peppa Pig becomes unhappy and insists on saying that Suzy cheated. Two good friends had an unpleasant quarrel. The words \”competitive\” and \”can\’t afford to lose\” seem to have a derogatory meaning, but in English they correspond to the positive word: competitive (competitive, or competitive), so today\’s article is not to solve a problem \”problem\”, but analyze a \”phenomenon\”. Many American children around me spend a lot of time on competitive sports since elementary school, which is more important than completing schoolwork. American schools and parents attach so much importance to sports competitions because \”the desire to win\” is an important quality required for success in life. Therefore, if you have a child who loves competition, it is actually a very good thing if you guide him properly. But if children take winning and losing too seriously in games and competitions, it will be difficult for them to truly enjoy the game, and they may even be isolated from other children. Children particularly want to win, often because they desire: 1. A sense of control 2. Love and attention from adults: They hope to be recognized by saying \”I am the best\”. As long as the above two needs are fully satisfied, children will be more interested in winning and losing. It has to be lighter. When I usually play games with Su Bao, I will guide her in two ways: The first way is that I will let her win enough first. Not only did I lose to her repeatedly, but I also deliberately lost in an exaggerated way. For example, one time I played a shooting game with Su Bao. I pretended to use all my skills, but I just couldn\’t make the shot. I either threw the ball awkwardly into the grass or threw it behind my back. In the end, Su Bao got 50 points and I got zero points. Then I imitated Su Bao\’s \”can\’t afford to lose\” look, lying on the floor and rolling around to show off. It made Su Bao laugh and feel a little embarrassed (because she knew I was imitating her). Su Bao in turn persuaded me, \”Mom, don\’t be like this, you can win too. Look, you can win if you put in like this.\” When I followed her example and shot into the basket, she cheered for me from the bottom of her heart, completely forgetting that she had to take first place. I heard that mothers have the potential to win Oscars. After the performance reached this point, I felt that I could get a statuette (face covering)… This way was relaxed and happy, and it satisfied Su Bao\’s desire to win. It also made Su Bao realize how boring a game without opponents is, and there is no point in winning all the time. The second way of guidance is that I will accompany her to lose. For example, when we play the supermarket shopping board game \”Shopping List\” together, if I fill the shopping cart with food before Su Bao does, I will be the winner. (Today’s games are just for examples, there is no group plan. In fact, it is practicalIt doesn’t matter which game you play, as long as you master the idea of ​​​​guiding your child, you can draw inferences.) Su Bao was immediately unhappy when he lost. I said, look, you found milk, strawberries and cereals very quickly just now, which shows that your memory is very good. Not bad. The key is to emphasize the specific process of the child\’s efforts in the game (such as focus, persistence), rather than the results. And the child will understand that he does not need to \”win\” love. No matter you win or lose, you will get the same attention and recognition from your parents. Cooperative games can also divert the attention of \”competitive\” children to cooperation. For example, in HABA\’s orchard game, everyone has to work together to pick all the fruits into the basket before the crow comes: and in Janod\’s balance game, everyone\’s goal is to build the building higher based on the previous player\’s work. : There are no losers in this kind of game. All players are a team and need to work together to pass the level. If they win, everyone wins. It allows children to experience the joy of cooperation. Recently, I unexpectedly discovered that babies\’ \”competitiveness\” can be turned into motivation to develop good habits in life. In the past, Su Bao often procrastinated and refused to go upstairs during lunch break every day. That day I accidentally said, I will go upstairs before you. Before I could recover, suddenly a dark shadow flashed before my eyes. Su Bao rushed to his room at the speed of light and lay down, proudly saying, I won! I am left to secretly enjoy myself. After discovering this secret, I often play the \”Complete XXX Challenge in 5 Minutes\” game with Su Bao. We can use this method to motivate the baby when putting on clothes, shoes, or packing toys. While satisfying the sense of competition, it also inadvertently solves the problem of the baby. The dragging is uncooperative. As I approach the age of 30, I realize that life is actually a mixture of winning and losing. It is common to take two steps forward and one step back. The fun is hidden in the ups and downs. I especially hope that children can understand these principles subtly. I believe that if a child can maintain a sense of competition at a young age and not let winning or losing affect his mentality, he is actually a winner in life.

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