My child is crying and I know how to deal with it myself. Please put aside your kindness.

I went to Hong Kong two weeks ago. On the plane back, there was a couple sitting next to me with a three- to four-month-old baby. The mother was holding the baby, and the father was holding a bottle. There was about 20 to 30 milliliters of milk left in it. It looked like I only fed it when I first got on the plane. When the plane flew into the sky and the meal delivery started, the baby\’s mother handed the baby to the father beside her, got up, took the breast pump and went to the bathroom. As soon as the mother left, the baby started crying. Although the father tried to comfort him, it was of no use and the baby cried louder and louder. Because the crying was a bit scary, the people around me were a little restless. Two female passengers in the back seat stood up and said to their father: \”Give her some milk quickly.\” However, the baby had just received milk after getting on the plane. The father did not answer the conversation and continued to shake the baby. He comforted her, but the baby refused and continued to cry. The female passengers just couldn\’t help it anymore and stood up again and said: \”Oh, the child is crying so hard, he must be hungry. You should have milk powder…\” The father, who was already tortured by the child\’s crying, also lost his mind. He couldn\’t stand the pressure, so he called the flight attendant to help him put the remaining bottle of basic milk in hot water to warm it up. But when he took the bottle back and put it in the baby\’s mouth, the baby didn\’t want it at all… Obviously, the father couldn\’t stop the baby\’s crying, so he could only wait for the mother to come back, but the two \”enthusiastic\” female passengers behind him Still giving advice. I saw the father\’s brows furrowing tighter and tighter, trying desperately to restrain his anger. At this time, I really wanted to stand up and say to the two female passengers in the back row: Could you please shut up? Stop adding to the chaos, others know how to treat their own children. If your child cries, please ask an adult first if you need help. OK When he was eight months old, I took him to Hong Kong alone. During the flight, he started to get emotional and cry loudly. Because I had no experience going out for the first time, I didn’t bring any small toys or snacks with me to help eliminate the irritability of the baby at any time. At that time, I just felt very angry while listening to OK yelling, and I was thinking about how to calm the baby as soon as possible. He got off so as not to disturb the passengers next to him, but the more he tried to stop OK\’s crying, the more OK started yelling. A lady in her forties sitting next to me, who looked European, seemed to notice my anxiety, touched me gently, and asked me if I needed her help. gave me a very warm and peaceful smile. Looking at her smile, I immediately felt at ease, because her eyes told me that she didn\’t mind being disturbed. So I told her that I was really embarrassed. The child was so noisy but I couldn\’t calm him down… It seemed that she was curious about why I suddenly started chatting with a \”weird\” aunt with blond hair, and we were talking and laughing, and suddenly OK It became quiet, and a pair of small eyes stared at us chatting. Although many times we think that lending a helping hand to others when they are in trouble is in line with traditional virtues, in fact, if we directly give a bunch of advice without consulting adults, it sounds more like Conveying a meaning of \”you don\’t have the ability to stop your child from crying, you need to accept my help\” will give peopleWith a strong sense of oppression. Many times, we often fail to grasp the sense of proportion and instead exceed the boundaries between people. Why a baby cries is clearly known to his parents. Rather than crossing the line and caring about why the baby cries, it is better to carefully observe whether the child\’s parents are anxious and helpless. To deal with children\’s emotions, adults first need to be in a good mood. Helping adults get rid of negative and anxious emotions and not putting extra pressure on others is the greatest help to the parties involved. No matter how experienced you are in parenting, please don’t give random advice. There are always many kind-hearted people around us, who seem to be particularly concerned about children, and always ask questions that we don’t know whether they are concerned or questioning, such as: Is this child wearing too few clothes? Is he freezing? The child is crying so hard. Is he hungry? (Subtext: Why don’t you parents give him food?)…Although many people who have raised children have experience in dealing with children, children will cry when they are hungry, sleepy, or uncomfortable, but many times when children cry, they may It may be a combination of many reasons, such as wanting to sleep and eat at the same time, having flatulence, feeling uneasy after being separated from the mother, or simply being irritable and needing comfort. The people who know a child best must be his parents. Even if we are new parents who look at their fussiness, we still need to give them enough understanding and respect. There are no standards for raising children. Every child grows up in the arms of his or her parents. Instead of worrying about parents not being able to take care of their children, it is better to give parents some sense of security and let them know that it is normal for children to cry and fuss. , we are all people who have been there, just relax. Expressing gratitude for others\’ help and suggestions will also make you more proactive. Of course, we cannot deny that the people who give advice do not have any bad intentions in addition to having no sense of boundaries. Whether they want to find peace for themselves or give their parents some advice at that moment, they must really want it. Baby, stop crying. Therefore, as parents who have been advised, instead of ignoring and not responding to various suggestions and becoming more tense inside, it is better to be more calm and calm. First of all, you must know that no one will blame the baby when it cries, and you must not think that you are damaging the public environment; secondly, what makes people anxious is not that the baby cries, but that the parents cannot effectively stop the baby from crying. Therefore, for some people who are more enthusiastic and want to help, we should promptly show them that we are actively dealing with it, for example: \”Well, thank you, I think my baby is sleepy. It is usually difficult to coax him to sleep. Today It will probably take more effort on the plane.\” When people who are anxious to help see their parents being so sure, they will probably stop knowingly. I would like to say that crying children is a challenge for novice parents. Many parents may not be able to fully understand the reasons why their children cry at home, so it is inevitable that they will cry in public and be helpless in public. Don’t If you feel miserable, relax. How to identify the needs from the baby\’s crying, the expression when the baby is sleepy, the movements when the baby needs comforting, and the changes in the cry when the baby is hungry, everyone needs to pay attention to it in daily life. in the company ofaccumulated. By the way, finally I want to say, moms, please give dads more opportunities to practice their skills, so as not to be like the dad in the story I told you at the beginning, where dad couldn’t even handle himself even when mom walked away to go to the bathroom. biological child.