My child, you must have an upbringing that will not hurt others, and you must also have an aura that will not allow you to be hurt.

In the TV series \”I am Yu Huanshui\”, there is a scene like this: Yu Huanshui, on the way to send his son to school, told his son to study hard in school and listen well in class. Suddenly, his son asked Yu Huanshui, \”What should I do if someone scolds me?\” Unexpectedly, Yu Huanshui replied, \”If someone scolds you, just pretend not to hear.\” Seeing this scene, I fell into deep thought. This father asked his child to pretend that it didn\’t happen. Can this really solve the problem? Many parents think that the noise between their children is no big deal, and they ignore their children being bullied. A psychologist has conducted a survey and found: \”Parents often ignore the fact that their children are being bullied. The children may let the other party take advantage of them because of their cowardice, and finally form a vicious circle.\” Of course, don\’t easily define fights between children as being bullied. Bully. But when a child is really bullied, how should we as parents teach our children to deal with violence? Blind silence really cannot solve the problem, let alone protect the children. Blindly \”silent\” will make children weaker. In a program, Yi Nengjing and Qin Hao talked about how their daughter Mi Li was often bullied at school. It turns out that after Mi Li transferred to a new school, there was a little boy who often bullied her. During one dance class, the boy bumped into Mi Li and even forced her into a corner. She could only hunched over and greeted her mother with a forced smile. The couple felt sad that their child was being bullied. Qin Hao still wanted to seek justice for his daughter, so he said, \”Hurry up and tell the teacher. I will tell his parents right now. If the parents can\’t educate him, I will fly back now.\” The grandma on the side immediately stopped and said: \”Don\’t say the next sentence. Your responsibility is to educate your own children. Just educate your own children well.\” Then the grandma said, \”Children have to suffer some setbacks.\” , just be patient and it will pass. The important thing is to educate the children well.\” When I heard this, as an old mother, I was a little anxious. Children should suffer some setbacks, but they should not be bullied. What\’s more, as parents, the most powerless thing we have is that we can\’t do anything when our children are bullied. Finally, Qin Hao issued a soul torture: \”If a child is always bullied at school and is still bullied after telling the teacher, and the next day he tells the teacher and parents that he is still bullied when he comes back, what should you do?\” As parents, we bring our children into this world with the hope of giving them a better future, and we will never let them be bullied. Blindly tolerating will not calm the situation. On the contrary, it may condone banal evil and harm the real good. Faced with the violence faced by their children, if parents make the wrong move, their children may fall into an endless abyss. When children are bullied, what they need most is parents to stand up and give them encouragement. On the contrary, the \”silence\” of parents will cause a kind of mental destruction to the children, and even make the children less confident and weaker. Simply teaching children to fight back can easily lead to children advocating violence. Some parents will teach their children that when they are bullied, they must fight back. In fact, there are many ways to protect children. If you just ask your children to hit them back when they are spanked, it will not fundamentally solve the problem. It will also easily make children advocate violence and also lead to violence.This may lead to the child being isolated from others. In \”Teacher Please Reply\”, there is a girl who is always used to using violence to solve problems. This girl has no friends in school. The mother said: The children were in group activities like spring outings at school. The classmates sat around and played together, but she was the only one on one side. Moreover, she was extremely violent, and her temper would flare up whenever she wanted. Once, because of a trivial matter, she beat the boy next to her until his nose was bruised and his face was swollen, and his left arm was completely purple. After investigating the reason, I found out that the child was bullied when she was in kindergarten. Her mother told her daughter that when she was beaten, she must fight back. If she couldn\’t win the first time, she would fight a second time until she won. Gradually, my daughter began to like using force to solve problems. If she couldn\’t win a fight between classmates, she considered it a sign of weakness. Speaking of her cousin who was hospitalized after being beaten by a classmate, the girl said that her cousin was too cowardly and planned to use a mace to avenge her brother. When a child is bullied, parents instinctively choose to let the child fight back. It is easy for the child to understand that fists are the best and most useful way to solve the problem, and start to advocate violence and become an aggressive person. There is nothing wrong with teaching children to fight back, but if they blindly ask children to fight back, they will regard this way of dealing with it as part of themselves and believe that everything can be done with force, which may lead to problems in the child\’s personality and social interaction. Rather than fighting back directly, parents should teach their children how to \”fight back\” correctly, rather than fighting violence with violence. Teach children the upbringing of not hurting others, and the aura of not being hurt by others. Professor Li Meijin, a criminal psychology expert, once appeared as a guest on \”Let\’s Talk\” and faced the audience\’s question: If a child is beaten, will you support him to beat him back? Professor Li Meijin shared how to teach her granddaughter how to deal with being bullied. She encouraged her granddaughter to pull the other person\’s ears with both hands if she encounters such a thing again. If it hurts, he will put you down. As children grow up, they will always encounter some experiences of being bullied. The best way parents can give their children is not to make them tolerate, nor to help them solve the problem, nor to teach them to respond to violence with violence, but to let them learn how to deal with violence. In this dilemma, use wisdom and flexibility to solve it. As a parent, you must teach your children to “fight back” when they are bullied. In fact, the real meaning of teaching children to hit back is to give them the upbringing not to hit others and the aura to not be bullied. 1. Let children learn to say \”no\”. In interpersonal communication, they must learn to express their thoughts to each other. We need to teach our children to say \”no\” bravely and let them say \”I don\’t like you doing this, please stop\” when faced with bullying. Use \”no\” to say no, express your position to others, and also establish your child\’s boundaries. 2. Teach children to ask for help in a timely manner. If the other party continues to attack after the child says no, teach the child how to ask for help in a timely manner if he or she cannot stop the violence. In the popular drama \”The Hidden Corner\”, Zhu Chaoyang was laughed at by his classmates. When the classmates deliberately knocked him to the ground, he did not resist, but quietly did not speak and left silently. His classmates teased him and secretly changed his water, but he didn\’t say anything. If Zhu Chaoyang could tell his parents and teachers earlier, he would not feel so helpless in his heart. As parents, we must teach our children to safeguard their rights and know how to respond promptlyAsking for help is a sign of respect for others and respect for yourself. 3. Be a solid backing for your child. When a child is bullied, a parent\’s words of \”bear with it\” or \”fight back\” cannot make the child feel at ease. The important thing is to tell your children that mom and dad will always have your back. I once saw a video online. When the mother learned that her son was being bullied at school, she first communicated with her son and then asked her son to wait for her. She called the other parent. Mothers use actions to tell their children, \”Don\’t be afraid as long as your mother is here. No one can hurt you.\” With the support of parents, children have a sense of security and the determination to protect themselves. As children grow up, they will inevitably encounter bullying. As parents, we should give our children an upbringing that will not hurt others, but we must also have an aura that will not allow them to be hurt. Let them learn not to take the initiative to attack others, but also not to tolerate it and live out their own aggression. Parents cannot protect their children throughout their lives. The best protection is only to let them truly learn to protect themselves.

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