Parents decide their children\’s starting point not from family wealth, but…

It is said that it is difficult to produce a noble child from a poor family. In addition to the upper class having better educational resources, the more important reason is actually the gap in thinking and cognition between parents. Let alone the rich and the poor, even if there are two different adults in the family, there is a huge gap in thinking and cognition. Lai Shixiong\’s How to Learn English from Zero, 3 volumes [PDF + Audio] I will be a policeman in the future. About dreams, it is a question that every child will ask their parents. One day when he was five years old, Xiaoxu said enthusiastically at the dinner table: I want to be a doctor when I grow up. After hearing this, grandma stopped chewing, looked up at him, and said lightly: I don\’t think you are suitable to be a doctor. If you like painting, you can be a painter. What is gratifying is that grandma\’s \”career plan\” for Xiaoxu is out of the child\’s love, but this kind of thinking that likes to make decisions for the child is bound to be \”tit for tat\” from the child. Thinking that Xiaoxu wanted to be a tractor driver when he was three years old, and changed to an animal caretaker when he was four years old, I already looked down on his dream of being a police officer when he was five years old. I just quietly bought him some more picture books about professions, striking while the iron was hot, allowing him to have a deeper understanding of the concept of professions, the skills required behind each profession and the effort required to realize his dreams. More than ten years later, when a child comes out of the ivory tower, what career he will choose and what career he should choose are determined by many factors. On the one hand, the intersection of a child\’s own abilities and interests is one of his talents; on the other hand, by seizing the trend of the times, the gears of destiny will also change. Grandma’s understanding of career is marked by her era. The most common one is the pursuit of “stability”. Little does she know that the so-called iron rice bowl will one day be broken. Of course, our generation’s understanding of careers will be shackles of the times in more than ten years. What we can do is to keep an open mind, welcome the changes of the times, update our knowledge at any time, and at least not make bad ideas or hold back when our children ask for help. Flying chess Let’s take playing flying chess as an example. My son Xiaoxu suddenly became obsessed with playing Ludo chess one day. He would pester his grandma to play more than a dozen games every day. I observed the interaction between grandma and her son and can summarize it into the following three points: (1) Because Xiaoxu would cry and make trouble when he lost, grandma never took his pieces and deliberately let her grandson win more. (2) Xiaoxu beamed with joy after winning, and grandma took the opportunity to \”encourage\”: You are awesome! (3) Every time Xiaoxu jumped the gun, cheated, and did things that were not in line with the rules of the game, grandma would turn a blind eye. Her only purpose was to make her grandson happy. Even so, I never interfere with the \”unequal\” games between them. First of all, it is for the sake of family harmony; secondly, I must allow the children to get along with different adults, even adults suspected of doting; finally, I have confidence that I can Be the caregiver who has the greatest impact on your children. Last night, I also played a game of flying chess with Xiaoxu. I strictly abided by the rules of the game and quickly won the game. Xiaoxu\’s eyes were wet and red, her mouth was flat, and she said pitifully: Mom, why did you beat me?​I was about to speak when I heard my grandma snorting dissatisfiedly from the sofa not far away: \”I played a game and made the child cry.\” Then she said to my son: \”Stop crying. Grandma will play with you.\” Bureau\”. It is conceivable that grandma is coming to \”release water\” again. I took my son’s hand into the room and told him calmly: There are winners and losers in games. If I beat you, the first reason is that I was lucky this time; the second reason is that I have a strategy. It must be the first time Xiaoxu heard these words. He was a little confused. He stopped sobbing softly and asked me: What is strategy? I said: Being lucky means that I often throw \”6\” and can often reach the square on the plane map, saving a lot of distance; being strategic means that I know whether I should avoid you or chase you at the moment. Know which piece to move when. Xiaoxu stopped crying. I said, mommy will teach you next time. Having a strategy will give you a better chance of winning. He nodded in understanding and hugged me stickyly. Pinyin Learning Machine Another example is the Pinyin learning machine that I recently purchased. Xiaoxu will soon enter the senior class, and the three major problems in transitioning from kindergarten to elementary school: learning mathematical operations, literacy and writing, and pinyin are also on the agenda. Mathematical operations and literacy and writing have been gradually integrated into his play in my life. Pinyin is a completely new concept for Xiaoxu, so a learning machine was installed. Grandma was dissatisfied with me buying toys for the house from time to time, but she smiled with satisfaction when she saw the pinyin learning machine. Elders of this generation would most like to see their grandchildren be able to count, read and write. If they can learn Pinyin before entering elementary school, they feel that their children\’s grades will definitely be good. I saw grandma couldn’t wait to call Xiaoxu over, and asked the child to follow the machine spelling starting from \”b\”. After reading, she did not forget to encourage education, gave a thumbs up and said \”You are awesome\” with a smile! As a former top student, I saw through my grandma\’s wrong learning method at a glance – opening the book, no matter what, reciting from the first word to the last word by rote. I called Xiaoxu over, pointed at the learning machine and asked him: Do you know what this is? Xiaoxu shook his head firmly. I said: This is a machine for learning Pinyin. Pinyin is a tool to assist in pronunciation of Chinese characters. Do you know how to spell \”煦\”? I pointed to the \”x\” and \”ù\” on the learning machine and spelled them out to my son. After hearing this, Xiaoxu looked at me in surprise, obviously discovering the novelty of the New World. I took advantage of the situation and asked him, do you know how to spell \”father\”, \”mother\” and \”grandma\”? After the conversation, the child understood what Pinyin is. Then, I picked up the panel and made a main classification for the children. This learning machine is divided into two parts. One part is the game buttons in the first column, and the second part is the syllables. The syllables are divided into three parts: initial consonants and finals. And the overall recognition and reading of syllables… I mobilized the child\’s interest in learning and placed the main knowledge about Pinyin in his mind. Next is the time to learn the branches (the pronunciation of each syllable). Conclusion: Whether it is for careerChoice, learning new skills or new knowledge, in all aspects of life, a person\’s cognitive dimension determines his height. The parent’s cognition is the starting point for the child, and the child will continue to climb up the parent’s cognition dimension. Therefore, it is not family wealth that determines a child\’s starting point, but the parent\’s cognition; it is not the college entrance examination that determines a child\’s end point, but the child\’s cognition.