Parents who refuse to let go will never raise excellent children.

\”The most important task of parents is to educate their children to become \’self-reliant adults\’. Let their children earn a living on their own no matter where they are in the world.\” Kenichi Ohmae, an internationally renowned business management expert, talked about the fundamentals . The mother of the child prodigy Wei Yongkang forgot this, so she harmed her favorite son. The child prodigy Wei Yongkang was able to read a thousand words at the age of two. He basically completed the junior high school curriculum at the age of 4. He entered the county\’s key middle school at the age of 8. At the age of 13, he was admitted to the Department of Physics of Hunan Xiangtan University with high scores. At the age of 17, he was admitted to the High Energy Physics Research Institute of the Chinese Academy of Sciences. Institute, continuous master\’s and doctoral studies. In July 2003, Wei Yongkang was dismissed from school without even receiving a master\’s degree. At that time, his mother Zeng Xuemei, who had accompanied him to high school and fed him, pointed at the building of the Chinese Academy of Sciences and told her son to jump off the building. She also pointed at the busy road next to her and told her son to be hit by a car and die. What caused the modern version of \”Shang Zhongyong\”? Let’s take a look at the life of this “prodigy” and find out. A reporter described his life like this: Except for studying, his mother Zeng Xuemei did not let Wei Yongkang interfere with anything at home. She even squeezed toothpaste out every morning, washed clothes, served meals, bathed and washed his face, and even made sure that his son was eating. He did not miss reading when he was young. When Wei Yongkang was in high school, Zeng Xuemei even fed him in person. In May 2000, Wei Yongkang was admitted to the Institute of High Energy Physics of the Chinese Academy of Sciences. After being separated from his mother, he \”lost control\”. He didn\’t know how to put on more clothes in the winter. He ran around in single clothes and slippers, and didn\’t even know he was going to take the exam. and writing thesis. The root cause of this tragedy is that Wei\’s mother did not regard her son as a human being, an ordinary person who wanted to survive in this world. Instead, she regarded her son as a machine for studying for exams, hoping that her son would become a dragon and that the family would be honored. As a result, the son did not become a dragon, but became a worm. Finally, Wei\’s mother, who took care of everything in her son\’s life, confessed: \”I hurt him!\” The fundamental task of parents is to teach their children to behave. Children come into this world through the bodies of their parents. Parents have the responsibility to teach their children how to be a good person, learn to do things, and learn basic life skills. A child\’s \”survivability\” begins with family education. From elementary school to university, Wei Yongkang\’s entire life was handled by his mother. She thought: \”He will grow up and leave me in the future. People are so smart and can learn quickly. I don\’t know that my son has formed a habit and cannot change it.\” Yes, human growth cannot be repeated. It is not an experiment. It can only succeed but cannot fail. If it fails, the price will be too high. In fact, there are more than one mother like Wei Mu today, and the phenomenon of educational front-running is quite serious. Kindergarten learns elementary school stuff, and elementary school takes middle school classes. When you get to college, you have to make up for the things you should learn in kindergarten, such as eating and dressing. , sleep, behavioral habits, personality development, and labor skills. As a kindergarten teacher said, when encountering difficulties, they will only cry and call their mother. Some children even 5 years old can only drink milk. If I make a mistake, my parents actually say: \”You criticize me, not your children.\” Looking at these children and their parents, I was extremely shocked and speechless! Parents ignore their children\’s independence and are reluctant to let their children endure hardships. They have to do everything for them, no matter how big or small, so that they canThey are mentally retarded, clumsy, and unable to move without their parents. Such an approach completely defeats the purpose of family education. Once, we held an \”I Can Do It\” summer camp in Beijing and met such a boy. He was very beautiful and was in the fourth grade of elementary school. One day, he cried. We asked him what was going on and he said the older kids were bullying him. He had slept in the same bed as his mother since he was a child. When he arrived at the camp, he was a little scared to live in the upper bunk. At night, he would get into the older boy\’s bed, and they would kick him out and say he was gay, which made him cry. Later, we worked with his dormitory classmates to help them understand him and accept him, and also created opportunities for the boy to communicate more with everyone. After a few days, his self-confidence increased and he said that he would do his own thing when he came back. When the camp was closed, I said to his mother: \”How can you let such a big boy sleep in your bed? This has two major harms: first, it will affect the healthy growth of your son; second, it will affect the happy life of you and your husband. \”Boys cannot be raised in captivity, they can only be raised free-range.\” It is difficult for children raised in captivity to become mature, and their sense of independence must be cultivated. Children should have their own bed, not the same bed as their parents. If a child wants to hug his parents, he can do so before going to bed, so that the child\’s sense of independence can be stronger. Parents can tolerate their children and make their home their last haven; they can understand them and let them find warmth and security. When they are hesitant and have no way out, they can show them the way instead of giving them a wall. I give the children three words: First, do your own thing. Don\’t ask for help from others. If you ask for help from others, you will lose an opportunity to exercise. Second, help with things at home. The sooner you learn to cook and clean the house, the better, and you can survive without your parents. If you always don\’t let your children do it and let the nanny do it, your children will be timid when entering society. Third, everyone rushes to do their things. Don\’t be afraid of suffering. If you want to succeed, you must not be afraid of hardship and suffering. If he doesn\’t do it, if you do it, you will gain experience. Experience is the wealth of life. Let me tell my parents three more words: First, spoiled children cannot be spoiled. Boys can be pampered but not spoiled, they must be let loose. Second, you must suffer for yourself. Let children take responsibility for their own actions, and parents should not take responsibility for their children\’s mistakes, so that they can have a sense of responsibility. Don\’t give any benefits to those crying children. Let them know that they can only get benefits when they do well, so that such children can be reasonable. Third, independence requires independence. Children must be given independent space. The purpose of family education is to enable children to adapt to the social environment they will face in the future when they grow up, to cope with the challenges and opportunities they will have to deal with in the future, and to take on the responsibility of promoting China\’s further reform and opening up and more quickly entering the advanced world. national responsibilities. Harvard University scholars once conducted a survey and came to a surprising conclusion: the employment rate of children who like to do housework and those who do not like to do housework as adults is 15:1, and the crime rate is 1:10. Children who love doing housework have lower divorce rates and lower rates of mental illness. We can learn from this list of household chores for American children: 9-24 months: Let the baby throw dirty diapers into the trash by himselfinside. 2-3 years old: Can throw garbage into the trash can under the guidance of parents, help mother get things, brush teeth, water flowers, and organize their own toys. 3-4 years old: use the toilet better, wash hands, brush teeth more carefully, water the flowers carefully, pack away their own toys, help their mother make the bed, get pillows and quilts, and put the dishes in the kitchen sink after meals; help Mom puts the folded clean clothes back into the closet; puts her own dirty clothes in the dirty clothes basket and knows how to tie her own shoelaces. 4-5 years old: Not only should they be proficient in the housework required in the previous stages, but they should also be taught how to collect clothes from the clothes rack and fold different clothes, and prepare the clothes they will wear the next day. Prepare things for kindergarten the next day, tidy up the room, pick up messy things and put them back in their place. 6-7 years old: Not only must they be proficient in housework required by several stages, but they must also be able to wash dishes with the help of their parents and clean their own rooms independently. 7-12 years old: Can make simple meals, vacuum and mop floors, clean bathrooms and toilets, and sweep leaves; can use a washing machine. Over 13 years old, can repair light bulbs; clean glass (both inside and outside), clean the refrigerator; cook, make a shopping list; and do laundry (the whole process). Carry out this kind of early labor training, so that children can learn to do things within their ability, and can develop a pair of hard-working hands in children, which will benefit them throughout their lives. Fortunately, this kind of labor training has already begun in many families in China. Some children with good family conditions are no longer pampered, but have learned to work and take care of their own lives since childhood. As a relative of a child, what should you take care of and what should you not take care of? I saw a German mother’s recipe that a friend sent me online, and I thought it was worth learning from. What should we do with six of them? 1. What should I do if my child is missing? The three \”no\” songs of German mothers: don\’t remind, don\’t help, and ignore him! 2. What should I do if my child spends money like water? A gift for your children – a reconciliation book! Any extra money spent will be deducted back! Teach your children that every extra penny spent belongs to their parents. 3. What should I do if my child doesn’t eat well? Hunger education from German mothers: If you don’t eat well, you will starve! 4. What should you do if a child grabs a toy? First come first served, otherwise don’t play! Teach children that there is no absolute fairness in society, only rules and order. 5. What should I do if my child is procrastinating and won’t sleep? Set a time and never compromise! If parents break rules, children will despise them. 6. My child is in love. German mothers respect their children\’s feelings because learning to love and be loved is a valuable ability. Some parents are very embarrassed and say, my child has been pampered since he was a child and has never been allowed to work. Now he is in elementary school. What should I do? I told them, don’t worry, let your children attend summer camp and winter camp alone. This is a very good way to cultivate children’s viability. Able to both identify and solve problems. \”The so-called father-daughter, mother-son scene only means that your fate with him is that you will continue to watch his back fade away in this life. You stand at this end of the path and watch him gradually disappear around the corner of the path. place, and he silently tells you with his back: No need to chase.\”This is a passage written by Long Yingtai in \”Seeing Off\”. There are two big partings in life: the first parting is the moment when we come out of the mother\’s body and cut the umbilical cord. The second time was when my parents were away and I lived independently. Education is not limited to schooling but is lifelong. Going into nature will give children unlimited imagination and a broader perspective.