Professor from Fudan University: How smart parents can raise outstanding children

Today, many parents dote on their children and are reluctant to discipline them, hoping that they will grow up happily. When faced with some mistakes, they often acquiesce to their actions on the grounds that \”the children are still young and have not yet awakened.\” Professor Qian Wenzhong of Fudan University called for bringing punishment back into education. In his speech \”Education, please stop making concessions to children in the name of love\”, he said: \”Education cannot make concessions again and again. We must be truly responsible for our children.\” To be truly responsible for our children is not just love and peace. Give in, but know how to discipline. If children make mistakes, they are neither punished nor blamed. Over time, they will lose the ability to distinguish right from wrong, and small mistakes will slowly turn into big mistakes. If you are reluctant to teach your children, society will teach you hard. Remember that boy who was beaten on the bus? On a bus in Sichuan, a boy kept kicking the man next to him. The man couldn\’t bear it anymore, so he picked up the child and threw him in the car. Beating a child in public is an infuriating thing, but the comments section was filled with applause. Netizens said that for such a big child to be so uneducated, his parents must be used to it. Behind every naughty child, there is a naughty parent. CCTV recommends more than 500 high-scoring documentaries. The children watch the pattern and become addicted to self-discipline. Parents’ condonation of their children’s mistakes is the tolerance of love, but society will not tolerate them. I saw a post like this, where a mother complained that her child was beaten outside and was shaking with anger. It turned out that she took her child to a restaurant for dinner. The child always went to catch the crabs of the guests at the next table. When his hands were thrown away, he actually hit the guests. The guests didn\’t care that it was a child and called him back. What reason does the mother have to be angry? If you don\’t discipline your children and they get into trouble, others will discipline them for you. There is no cost for children to make mistakes with their parents; but there is a cost for making mistakes in society. If you are reluctant to teach your children, when they grow up, society will educate them severely for you. Not scolding, punishing or disciplining is the real irresponsibility for children. \”The Courage to Discipline\” says: \”Educate children, be strict when they are young, and give them wings when they grow up.\” If you don\’t discipline your children, they will lose the opportunity to grow. . There is a real case in our village that has spread throughout the streets. A child has been doted on since he was a child. No matter what he does wrong, his mother will not blame him. From beating people and robbing things when I was a child, to brawls and fights as a teenager, I was never blamed. So, when he was 23 years old, he accidentally killed someone during a robbery and went to jail. His mother was extremely sad and went to visit him in prison. Unexpectedly, he bit off her ear and asked through gritted teeth: \”Why did you never tell me what was wrong?\” Because he didn\’t know what was right or wrong, he kept making mistakes. It wasn\’t until Zhengdang was imprisoned that he realized that there was a price for making mistakes, but it was too late, how sad. This is the growth of bad roots, and it is also the lack of parental education. The child does not teach, the father too. Parents are their children\’s natural teachers, influencing their children\’s growth in a subtle way. It is a parent\’s fault to raise children without teaching them. The process of a child\’s growth is like cultivating a sapling to grow. The growth of saplings requires irrigation, care, and pruning. The excess parts should be cut off in time to prevent them from growing wantonly. If small branches are not repaired in time, it will be difficult to repair them when they grow up and take shape.Remedy with trimming. Just like making mistakes, if small mistakes are not avoided, they will turn into big mistakes. Not scolding, punishing or disciplining is making the child\’s mistakes worse. Stealing needles when you are young, you will steal gold when you grow up. This is truly irresponsible to children. Children\’s growth requires disciplinary education. Some people say that children should be treated with gentle education and influence them with love. If the warmth education is not properly grasped, it will turn into indulgence and pampering. The above examples also prove that warm education cannot \”cure all diseases\” and necessary disciplinary education is indispensable. There once was a boy in Jiangsu who splashed ink from high in the sky, causing disaster to all the residents downstairs. Afterwards, the parents led the boy and went door to door to apologize. The residents were compensated for the cleaning of their clothes, and professionals were hired to clean the exterior walls. The boy was asked to stand in the scorching sun and watch the entire cleaning process before drying in the sun. The child\’s mother said: \”The child cannot do this job, but he must understand the mistakes he has made.\” Appropriate criticism and discipline can promote the growth of children. No rules, no standards. Punishment education is where parents establish authority and establish a sense of rules for their children. Necessary discipline and punishment are like beacons on the road to growth, reminding and correcting them every time they go the wrong way, and letting them know the price of their mistakes. In this way, the child\’s cognition and sense of rules will slowly be formed. Only when you grow up in rules and reverence can you truly become a \”person\”. Educationist Jane Nelson said: \”Mistakes are a great opportunity to learn. How you treat mistakes is more important than the mistakes you make.\” Only by knowing your mistakes, admitting them, correcting them, and not making any more mistakes can you truly learn and reflect on your mistakes. A good education must be lenient and strict, with clear rewards and punishments. You can turn a blind eye to your child\’s arrogance, but the adult world will not tolerate it; you can tolerate your child\’s unreasonableness over and over again, but social norms will not tolerate it. If the bad root is not eliminated, it will grow with the child. Rather than letting him suffer severe beatings from society in the future, it is better to \”cut off\” the source from the beginning. We must always remember that strict control and punishment are to make children sensible, understand rules, and become a better person.