In modern society, emotional intelligence plays an increasingly important role in the growth of children. To a certain extent, emotional intelligence plays a more important role in whether a child is good or not, and whether he or she will be successful in the future, even more than intelligence. Daniel Goleman, a PhD in psychology from Harvard University, once pointed out: IQ only accounts for 20% of a person\’s success, and the remaining 80% is emotional intelligence. Some parents may think that if a child has high emotional intelligence, they need to be sweet-mouthed. This is actually a one-sided understanding. Really high emotional intelligence includes many aspects, including a person\’s personality, behavior, habits, etc. Every detail about him can subtly convey the level of his or her emotional intelligence. Children with high emotional intelligence will radiate various cultivation and self-cultivation from the inside out, making people feel comfortable when getting along with them, and they will also be more popular. Children\’s emotional intelligence benefits from their parents\’ cultivation from an early age; parents who pay attention to the cultivation of emotional intelligence will provide double guidance from an early age, and their children will be able to see it at a glance when they are young. 01 Children with high emotional intelligence often have three characteristics. John Gottman, the master of interpersonal relationships, wrote in the book \”Raising Children with High Emotional Intelligence\”: \”For children, emotional intelligence means the ability to restrain impulses, delay The ability to be satisfied, the ability to motivate yourself, the ability to read other people\’s social cues and the ability to cope with the highs and lows of life.\” The truth is revealed in subtle ways. In daily life, what qualities do children with high emotional intelligence possess? [Both Seasons] Doctor of Psychology Zhang Yijun\’s Children\’s Emotional Intelligence Class MP3, teaches you how to raise children with high emotional intelligence 1. Have empathy. Some time ago, my son\’s class held a class meeting with the theme of \”Criticism and Self-Criticism\”. Reply After returning home, he told me with relish: Many classmates in the class criticized XXX in person and felt that his performance was not good. I asked, \”Are there any children that everyone recognizes as good friends?\” My son mentioned a name, which is also his good friend Yang Yang. He is willing to help others, cares about his classmates, does not ridicule his classmates, and will take the initiative to comfort his classmates when they are sad… …There were a lot of good words, and my son was full of beautiful words for this little kid Yang Yang. He said that one time in particular, he was in a low mood because he failed in his math test. Yang Yang handed his son a small note with a word of encouragement written on it and a smiling face. This approach made him feel very warm. My mood improved a lot instantly, and I quickly went to play with other children under the leadership of Yang Yang. Children with high emotional intelligence often have the following characteristics: they are empathetic and can easily feel the difficulties of others and are willing to use their own efforts to lend a helping hand to others. Such children can often become social masters and are popular with their classmates, which is the key to high emotional intelligence. 2. Be good at controlling your emotions. Everyone has emotions, and children are the same. They will cry and lose their temper because of unsatisfactory things to vent their dissatisfaction. Children with high emotional intelligence also have tempers. They vent occasionally, but they do not become emotional frequently or continuously. Even if he is in a bad mood, he will be sensible under the guidance of his parents, so as to control his emotions and not vent them wantonly. Emotional management ability is the core of emotional intelligence. This means that such children are more able to keenly perceive and detect the emotions of others, and are more capable of acting on the basis of recognizing their own emotions.Good self control. 3. Know how to appreciate others. There is a saying: The degree to which you make people comfortable with your words determines the height you can reach. Children with high emotional intelligence will take the initiative to appreciate others and never hesitate to praise them. They are like their own \”scanners\”, able to discover the advantages in each other. When they are close to others, they bring them full of positive energy. They will not laugh at people who are in trouble at will, nor will they expose wounds in the heckles. Even if there are conflicts and disputes, they will discuss the matter and will not say hurtful words easily. Showing respect to others is like a spring breeze. 02 Parents of children with high emotional intelligence often have these two characteristics. Family is the cradle for the growth of children. Whether the child\’s emotional intelligence is high or low, the family environment is crucial. No matter what kind of children are called by their parents, if they have sensible parents, the children\’s emotional intelligence will not be too low. Just like green plants need sunshine and rain, wise parents will provide a suitable growth environment for their children, be good gardeners for their children, and let their children grow up in the sun. If they want to raise a child with high emotional intelligence, wise parents will often avoid the following two situations. 1) Do not have random outbursts of emotions. Emotional parents are a disaster for their children. Children with high emotional intelligence often have good personalities, and behind them there is a well-spoken family. Parents know how to regulate their emotions and do not praise their children repeatedly when they are happy, nor shout around when they are angry. The good emotional state of parents will influence their children, subtly cultivating a child with a peaceful mind. Such children know better how to use a positive state to sense the world and have the potential to become highly emotionally intelligent. 2) Always stay positive and optimistic. It is said that parents are mirrors and children are shadows. Parents are positive and optimistic about life, opening up their children\’s perspective on the world. Such children are not pessimistic when encountering difficulties. Even if they encounter difficulties, they will work hard to actively find solutions, thereby cultivating a strong psychology. This quality helps improve children\’s emotional intelligence, because emotional intelligence itself is a process of slow accumulation and internalization. 03 To cultivate children with high emotional intelligence, parents can do this. Parents are their children’s best emotional intelligence coaches. How to cultivate a child with high emotional intelligence in life? First, help children understand their own emotions. After all, high emotional intelligence is the ability to self-control emotions. Children\’s ability to recognize their own emotions is the foundation for high emotional intelligence. Parents need to have a keen ability to detect when their children are unhappy, know how to detect their emotions, and then guide their children to identify the current emotions. For example: a child shows dissatisfaction when criticized for bullying other children. At this time, parents can ask their children: Are you unhappy because you were criticized? Do you feel wronged? This kind of guidance helps children focus on their own emotions instead of getting stuck in the emotions of angering the other person. After getting the child\’s recognition, parents can then guide the child to think from their perspective: How would it feel if it were you? This approach helps cultivate children\’s empathy, which is very important from the perspective of emotional intelligence education. Secondly, help children eliminate negative emotions. Even children with high emotional intelligence will sometimes have negative emotions. Children with high emotional intelligence can be seen in the way they eliminate negative emotions.. For this reason, far-sighted parents know how to cultivate their children\’s various interests and hobbies, such as music, chess, calligraphy, painting or sports. When the child is in a bad mood, he can immerse himself in his hobbies and heal himself without being resentful. It is recommended that parents cultivate their children\’s interest in sports. Psychological research shows that doing exercise is one of the best ways to relieve stress. Doing aerobic exercise for more than 20 minutes will promote the secretion of endorphins in the brain, thus Physiologically relieves stress. Thirdly, helping children learn to express emotions and whether a person can speak well is an important manifestation of high emotional intelligence. This also requires parents to help their children learn to \”speak well.\” Speaking well not only requires children to learn to express their thoughts in their own way and be polite; it also requires children to learn to respect others and have a kind heart before saying warm words to others. In addition, parents can leave messages to cultivate their children\’s sense of humor, which helps children solve problems in a relaxed atmosphere in a humorous way, which is also a sign of high emotional intelligence. Every parent hopes that their children can grow up happily and have a happy life. Cultivating children with high emotional intelligence is to give them the ability to embrace happiness, so that they can use their innate characteristics to attract like-minded friends as they grow up, and face the future warmly and firmly. Dear parents, starting from this moment, be a good emotional intelligence coach for your children. All your efforts today will become your children’s ability to run a better life in the future.