• Wed. Feb 21st, 2024

Should I have a daughter?

When I was pregnant, I really hoped that I would have a daughter in my belly. I was very careful during the pregnancy, studied this and that carefully, and lived my life very carefully. Even if someone said a bad word in front of me, I would subconsciously hold my belly and turn around quickly – prenatal education was not good. Later, I went to the hospital for a prenatal check-up. The doctor was an acquaintance and we were chatting while doing the B-ultrasound. I said, \”I need a small cotton-padded jacket.\” The doctor said, \”I can\’t say for sure. I can\’t give you a robe.\” Next?\” Only after that did I figure out the meaning of this sentence. It was an acquaintance telling me my gender tactfully. My enthusiastic and excited heart suddenly sank, turning into indescribable melancholy. My husband and I have no formal jokes. If we are pregnant with a son, it is a pity that I will pass on my good physique of no abdominal pain during menstruation and no vomiting during pregnancy (it is said that these characteristics of the mother will be passed on to the daughter) )? My husband was actually happy. He was already eagerly planning how to take his son to the river to fish in the future. He was a slam dunk on the playground. Later, when I gave birth to my baby after more than ten hours of labor pain, the doctor showed me my son’s butt as a routine and asked, “Can you see clearly, is it a boy or a girl?” I wanted to cry and laugh at the time, but because it was already I was exhausted, and I couldn’t cry or laugh. I thought to myself, good boy, he won’t have to suffer the pain of giving birth in the future. Damn it, no stomachache during menstruation, no vomiting during pregnancy! Just when I had almost forgotten about my daughter, the “two-child policy” was launched. Almost all the mothers around me were touched by this incident. As soon as we started chatting, they asked each other: \”Are you going to have another baby?\” Faced with this question, I suddenly became timid. If I gave birth to a daughter, would I do everything I could to give her the best life? Can I guarantee that she will be safe from harm throughout her life? Can I raise her to be well-behaved, sensible, independent, gentle, kind and independent? This era is no longer the era in which women had to \”smile without showing their teeth\” and \”stay at home\”. However, as a woman, I know clearly that this is still not an era in which men and women are completely equal. I can tolerate all the negative things that gender brings to me, but when I think about my beloved little daughter having to suffer all this, I feel heartbroken and I feel that I can\’t bear it at all. This little idea was chewed over and over in my mind, fermented, and finally exploded after my husband said something. I forgot why my son was crying that day, and my husband casually said: \”Why are you crying like a girl!\” I suddenly screamed as if my tail was stepped on: \”What do you mean by crying like a girl? Does it mean that girls have to cry? Are you telling your son that girls are useless and only cry?\” My husband looked at me with a look like \”you\’re out of your mind\” and defended: \”I just said it casually.\” I was suddenly discouraged. Yes, he just said it casually, everyone said it casually, and no one regarded such a casual remark as discrimination. Growing up, girls have heard so many casual remarks from others, how can you still be more serious with them? I really listened to all the comments about girlsI just want to jump: \”My daughter is good, my daughter is good, don\’t worry.\” – Isn\’t it really because it\’s easy to control? \”When you have a daughter, you can dress her up beautifully.\” – Are you really not worried about whether she is beautiful? \”Girls\’ academic performance deteriorates once they reach high school, and they obviously can\’t keep up with boys.\” – You really don\’t know that although there are differences between boys and girls, they are not insurmountable. Your repeated psychological hints are the \”magic curse\” ? \”My daughter is China Merchants Bank, so I don\’t need to make any arrangements to buy a house.\” – Don\’t be ridiculous. Even in the evil old society, wealthy families had to ask for a generous dowry when marrying their daughter, for fear that the daughter would be looked down upon because she had to rely on her husband\’s family. What are your plans as a modern civilized person? \”Women, it is better to marry well than to work well.\” – You are really sure that everyone has been taught to be self-reliant since childhood. When you reach the marriageable age, you suddenly gave other people\’s values ​​a 180-degree turn. Bend, isn’t that a personal insult? \”A woman\’s responsibility is to take care of her family. If her husband and children are not taken care of well, what\’s the point of having a successful career?\” – It is said that men and women are equal, but why does it become a woman\’s responsibility when it comes to meeting Zhen Zhang\’er? take care of family? A false proposition triggered a sadness, which almost turned into anger in my heart. On the eve of the explosion, my husband extinguished it with a word. \”Why are you thinking so much when you have nothing to do? It seems that you can decide whether to have a boy or a girl. You have to reduce your thoughts of having a second child to the purest. Having a second child is just for the future when we have to remove the oxygen tube on our deathbed. It\’s better for the two children to discuss it, regardless of whether it is a boy or a girl. Why should you protect your daughter properly throughout her life? How can a child who has not experienced hardships be successful? Besides, on the other hand, the prerequisite for you to protect her properly is not in advance Do you assume that she is weak? Overprotection is also a kind of imprisonment. From this point of view, what is the difference between you and others?\” His words were like a bucket of cold water, and I was silent. I think, or we can say it, children are a mirror to us. Our expectations for our children, whether gender or otherwise, are nothing but reflections of ourselves in this mirror. My \”what if\” sadness is just self-pity and a sign that I am not open-minded enough. Regardless of whether my child is a boy or a girl, I must respect him (her) and let him (her) be what he (she) wants to be, let him (her) take the path he (she) chooses and experience what he (she) should experience. Suffering. Even if the big wheel of this society does not enter a more civilized era as fast as we want, if my child advances together among the millions of people pushing the wheel, he or she will definitely have his or her own unique experience. That experience and understanding must be his or her own, not mine. All I have to do is bring him (her) into this world, teach him (her) to survive, accompany him (her) to grow, and of course, more importantly, love him (her).

By admin

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