When it comes to hypnosis, many people think it is mysterious. In fact, ordinary people can also master some hypnosis techniques to make our lives and relationships smoother. Some time ago, I went to a hypnosis lecture. The teacher talked about a little hypnosis method to make children better. I found it very interesting. With just a few simple words, children can become more confident and do things more consciously and proactively. The method is very simple, just one sentence – praise the child behind his back. Praising a child behind his back? How to praise? For example, mothers often encounter such a scene: several children are playing together and several mothers are chatting nearby. Generally, the content of the conversation is about how your children are doing and how my children are doing. This time is the best time to \”hypnotize\”. You can praise your child consciously. If you want him to do better, praise him more. For example: My child has made progress in his homework in the past few days. He writes quickly and seriously. He finished it in half an hour and didn\’t worry me at all. I was not feeling well yesterday, and my child took the initiative to pour me a glass of water and massage me. I was deeply moved. …Do you think the children just play around? These little ghosts and elves will listen to every word that adults say, especially when they hear things related to themselves, they will prick up their ears to listen. After listening to it, he still remained calm and asked to play whatever he wanted. Adults think that children are playing very attentively, but in fact they have already heard some words in their hearts. This is hypnosis. Speaking of this, a mother suddenly realized that she remembered a similar incident. One night, the child was doing homework in his room, and the mother was chatting with her family in the living room. She mentioned that the child had made progress in learning recently, and she knew she would take the time to do homework when she got home. At this time, the mother went into the room to get something and found that the child was shaking his head, looking a little proud. She was still wondering: What happy things did the child hide? Now that I think about it, the child must have heard their conversation in the living room and heard his mother\’s praise, and was secretly happy. This mother used this little hypnosis method unintentionally. So simple? Is this hypnosis? Understand the principles of hypnosis and you will understand. Simply put, human consciousness is divided into conscious and subconscious minds. Consciousness is a door guarding the heart, analyzing and judging external information at all times, either rejecting it, accepting it, or doubting it. Everything we think in our heads is basically the voice of consciousness. You think your conscious mind is powerful, but your subconscious mind is even more powerful. You know why you do it, it\’s awareness. You don\’t know why you do it, but you do it. This is subconscious. What really determines a person\’s behavior is the deeper subconscious mind. Hypnosis is to weaken the vigilance of consciousness, bypass its defense, reach people\’s subconscious, implant information, and fundamentally change people\’s behavior. The movie \”Inception\” is about this. Cobb, played by Leonardo, penetrated deep into Fisher\’s subconscious and implanted a cognition that allowed Fisher to make the decision to break up the business empire left by his father and complete a seemingly impossible task. task. When we praise our children “secretly”, we apply this hypnotic principle. \”none\”Intentional\” lets a child hear his parents\’ praise for him, and he will think: Oh, it turns out that in the mother\’s heart, I am so great. You know, every child is very concerned about his own image in the mother\’s heart, and he thinks about his own image. The level of cognition, whether he thinks he is good or not, largely comes from his parents\’ evaluation of him. How parents view their children affects how their children view themselves. When he knows that he is valuable in the hearts of his parents, he has a strong sense of himself. The awareness will be improved, and you will be more conscious and proactive in doing better. Therefore, one of the key points of \”secretly\” praising your children is: to let the children hear it seemingly unintentionally. Some mothers asked: Why? Can\’t I just praise him behind his back? The teacher said: If I praise him directly, it will \”hit\” the child\’s consciousness, and the consciousness will start to analyze and judge – what does my mother mean by praising me like this? Does she want to encourage me to do something good? Better? Is this a routine? Am I really that good? In this way, the effect of praise will be greatly reduced. And when a child overhears his mother’s chat, it is not specifically meant for him. He will think that these The words are closer to the mother\’s true inner thoughts. Some mothers will say: \”consciously\” praising their children behind their backs. Isn\’t this also a routine? I think whether it is a routine depends on the mother\’s \”intentions\”. If the mother She really thinks so. She thinks that the child has done really well and is praising the child from the heart. It should not be considered a routine. Of course, maybe many mothers are not used to praising their children in this way. They do praise them \”consciously\” at the beginning. Once the habit becomes natural, it will gradually become a natural expression. Because in your mind, the child is so good. If the mother does not originally think so, just to make the child do better, she will praise her harshly and deliberately let the child do better. The child will hear it. This kind of deliberateness will be felt by the child, and it may arouse the child\’s resentment. It is better not to praise. So, how can we praise from the heart? This requires us to change our mentality and pay more attention. Find out what your child has done well, instead of always focusing on the child\’s \”problems\” and mistakes. Train your own eyes to discover the child\’s shining points and his little progress. We have an old saying: teach your children in front of you, teach your wife behind your back . It means that only by criticizing and educating children in front of everyone can they have a sense of shame and avoid making the same mistakes in the future. We also have a famous saying: Humility makes people progress, pride makes people fall behind. We are afraid that as soon as we praise our children, they will The tail is raised to the sky. Therefore, even if we think the child has done well, in front of everyone, we will always maintain a humble and cautious attitude: \”Hey, this child has average talent, but he works hard and has a little luck.\” They are not as smart and sensible as your children. You think these are polite words, but if your children listen to them, they will really think that they are not good and that no matter how hard they try, they can never reach the level of their parents. Expectations. In the parents\’ minds, they are never good enough. This is also a kind of hypnosis. But it is a negative hypnosis, which will cause him to have a low sense of self-worth, lack of self-confidence, give up easily when encountering difficulties, and be full of frustration. This Small methods can also be applied to many places in life and are good lubricants for interpersonal relationships.In our relationships with friends, relatives, and colleagues, we can also try to praise each other \”secretly\”. Maybe these words will reach the other person\’s ears, and you can relay your compliments to the other person. For example, you can tell your mother: I told our classmates that my mother is very good at cooking, and I gained two pounds after eating for three days after I came home. After hearing this, my mother was guaranteed to smile from ear to ear. Of course, the most important reason why these tips are useful is the heart behind using them: your sincerity, appreciation, and positive attitude.