The best way to love your children is to keep growing yourself

Recently, I bought Teacher Hai Wenying\’s book \”Acceptance\”. After reading the introduction of the book, I couldn\’t put it down. I read the first chapter in one breath, which introduced the introduction of acceptance and the examples in the parenting process. It was like My own version resonated with a lot of people. Before I became a mother, I had never read any parenting books or listened to any expert lectures. Everything was based on feeling. Before my baby was 2 years old, he was always easy to take care of. I never had to worry about eating or sleeping. His illness and fever were solved with just a little medicine. He had a cheerful and lively personality. He sometimes fell down, and his mouth and nose injuries healed after a period of time, so I have been since. I have never thought about the big problems of raising children. It wasn\’t until I was 3 years old that my child\’s temperament changed drastically, and I felt bad all the time. If you go east, she insists on going west, and from time to time she will throw things, lose her temper, hit people, cry when she gets the slightest bit of trouble, cajole, criticize, praise, reason, beat and scold, and both soft and hard tactics are sometimes effective and sometimes ineffective. , for this reason, I realized that there were too many things that I needed to learn on my own, and I couldn’t just rely on the traditional parenting methods of the previous generation. I began to learn parenting knowledge. Children are growing every day, and their personalities, temperaments, and temperaments are slowly changing with the passage of time. So for the first time, I actively sought self-improvement and bought a book \”Meet Children, Meet Better People\”. Own\”. It tells that parenting is a process of self-cultivation. A child is like a mirror. If you smile at her, she will smile at you. Educating children is a process of finding out their own shortcomings and improving them, so as to achieve a better version of themselves. In fact, the age of 3 is when children form their own self-awareness and begin to have their own opinions. However, it will not work if you still use the same method as before the age of 2. For example, if she wants to put on her shoes by herself, you are in a hurry to go out and help her put them on, but she insists on putting them on by herself. If you help her put them on, she will fall out with you and even cry. But when you let go, let her finish it by herself. This action will actually increase her experience, and she will complete it happily. The characteristic of children during this period is the process of self-exploration, and I only learned about this later through reading. If I had known earlier, I might have taken fewer detours. Fortunately, the children spent this period stumbling. Remember to apply mechanically. When I understand a little bit about parenting knowledge and know that I am not doing well enough in all aspects, I will apply what I learned from books to life. But life is alive, and some things will happen at this time. contradiction. For example, the book says that only if parents read books and do not watch TV and create a good reading atmosphere can children develop good reading habits. But at this time, Dad was unhappy. I had a hard day outside and just wanted to relax when I came home. You want me to read a dry book. I really can’t stand this. The child has his own way and lives his own life. , it might not be a thankless effort in the future, I don’t agree. The couple originally had a good relationship, but disagreements arose over the education of their children, which turned out to be discordant. Harmony between husband and wife is the foundation of family education. In fact, if we forget that the foundation of family education, it should be based on the harmonious relationship between husband and wife. Only by having the original intention of loving the children and paying attention to correct methods can we achieve true parenting. If our family has a cold war, the couple will face each otherWith red eyes, how can our children listen attentively to our earnest wishes? Later, I started to only focus on myself and not impose my wishes on others. If my dad doesn’t study, then let him be. This is the so-called \”acceptance\”. When I accepted all this, I didn’t deliberately put my own opinions into practice. By imposing it on family members, my father is more likely to accept my educational philosophy for his children. When we truly love our family members, accept each other\’s good or bad habits, and empathize, we can learn and apply them. Although my dad doesn’t read, I read it myself and I take my baby with me to read it. Recently, this child is obsessed with reading picture books and stories, and asks me to read them with her every night. Strangely enough, this habit is useless. For a long time, I didn’t deliberately pay attention to methods or force my children to read books. There was no unpleasant element in it, so they naturally fell in love with reading. If I say, honey, it\’s too late today, let\’s not read, she won\’t be happy. I\’m very pleased about this. Of course, children love to play by nature. As long as I agree with her on a time to watch the tablet, she will close it and put it away by herself when the time comes. She will not cry or ask to keep watching for no reason. However, when she plays, I will not If we bother her, she will be more likely to accept our agreement. I\’m also very happy with her self-discipline. And this is what Teacher Hai Wenying calls the \”emptiness\” of acceptance. Because, from birth to now, in the past five years, Bao\’s father and I have always followed the natural development of our child\’s education without paying too much attention to her, including eating and sleeping. Adhere to your own parenting principles. After many children are born, parents will involuntarily want to pick them up as soon as they hear crying. Over time, the children develop the habit of holding them to sleep and waking up when they are put down. At this time, parents complain that their children are not worry-free. , tiring. In fact, as long as the child is well fed, clothed and well urinated, generally speaking, he will not cry much, even if he cries once or twice. For children nowadays, eating has become a headache for their parents. Many mothers and grandmothers are chasing after them with their rice bowls in their hands and shouting, \”Hey, hey. Some even coax and beg before they are willing to eat. I really don\’t understand why eating has become a begging request of their elders.\” It\’s their business. Meal time in our family is eating. If the child does other things during meal time, such as watching TV or playing games, then let her play before eating or eating before playing. In short, after the meal time, there will be no food. eat. If you are hungry, you can only hold back your next meal, and you are not allowed to eat snacks during this period. One night when she was about 3 and a half years old, my daughter said she wasn\’t hungry during dinner, but I didn\’t persuade her to eat. Then after dinner time, she started to complain that she was hungry. I told her that she had finished eating and could only eat. After another meal, she said she was about to starve to death. I insisted that there was nothing I could do, the meal time had passed, and if you didn’t eat, it was the fault of others. She started to get upset and yelled that you were a bad mother for not giving me food. I still insisted that I could only eat it tomorrow. Seeing that there was no room for maneuver, she stopped insisting and went to sleep obediently. From then on, she never did anything else during meal time. A friend said that you seem to be quite cruel. In fact, you are not cruel, but good habits must be developed and carried out. Besides, you will not be hungry even if you don’t eat a meal. Children are very smart, as long as theyIf you persist, your children will naturally understand. If you develop good eating habits, your children will have a good appetite, their health will naturally improve, and they will get sick less often, thus forming a virtuous cycle. Parenting is a long process. As a parent, you not only need to accompany us, but you also need to observe carefully. This requires us parents to concentrate on practicing and learning at all times. Every child has his own unique characteristics, and no matter how brilliant an expert is, he is not as good as a good parent, because parents get along with their children day and night every day. Therefore, as a new generation of parents, we not only focus on raising children, but also pay more attention to how to educate them. This road has a long way to go!