The foundation of a good parent-child relationship starts with these four speaking tones

Language is the greatest invention of mankind, and it is also a weapon for human beings to hurt each other: it is obviously concern, but what is said is blame; it is obvious that it is approval, but what is said is sarcasm; it is obvious that you can give a good answer, but what is said is rhetorical questions Ridicule… Many family conflicts stem from improper expression. Good family relationships have a great relationship with language expression. If you want a happy family, start by changing your tone. Examples of rude rhetorical questions: \”How do I know your stuff? You can\’t find it yourself?\” \”Don\’t you have any hands?\” \”Don\’t you have any idea?\” Imagine if someone in your family often asked you this question, what would you do? What does it feel like? Discomfort is basic. Top 10 bestsellers Li Zhongying\’s Comprehensive Parent-Child Relationship Skills e-book I heard a friend talk about such a small incident: He and his wife were traveling abroad. When they arrived at the hotel, his wife wanted to go to the supermarket to buy something. Since she was not familiar with the road, she asked casually. He: \”How should I go this way?\” My friend was a little tired from the journey and was lying on the sofa playing with his mobile phone. He was a little impatient when he heard this: \”Who am I asking? Don\’t you know how to use your mobile phone to navigate?\” \”As soon as the words fell, the room was silent for several seconds. My friend was also stunned. He looked up and saw that his wife\’s expression was indeed very bad. Fortunately, he realized that his tone was not very good and immediately apologized to his wife. Some people say that people with low emotional intelligence are \”good\” at asking rhetorical questions. When a person talks to you in a rhetorical tone, what is conveyed is strong condemnation, inexplicable hostility, and a condescending attitude, which makes people very uncomfortable. Not only that, the tone of the other person\’s rhetorical questions often makes their question ridiculous, and you can hear the ridicule and attack in the other person\’s tone. When communicating with family members, use rhetorical questions with caution. Examples of impatience full of indifference: \”I\’ve never seen such a disobedient child like you!\” \”You\’re so annoying! Can you quiet down for a while?\” \”Are you done?\” How does impatience hurt family members? I have a relative in my hometown who is 70 years old. When he first learned to use WeChat, it was very difficult because he was not familiar with it and could not type. I often call my children for help, and the children answered the questions patiently the first few times. After many times, they broke out: \”Oh, Dad, didn\’t I teach you a few days ago?\” \”Why can\’t you always remember it? I\’m at work!\” When the old man heard the answer, I hung up the phone in a panic, half out of shame and half out of self-blame. Perhaps the children\’s impatience is unintentional, but the harm to the elderly will not be reduced. If the people closest to you are often impatient with you, it will make you feel wronged and self-doubt. Doubting yourself is a trouble. The same goes for parents with their children. Many parents often show impatient tone and expressions when helping their children to do homework. When seeing parents being impatient, children may feel self-blame: \”My parents find me annoying, do they dislike me?\” Grief: \”I just can\’t do a question, but I got scolded.\” Self-denial: \” Maybe I\’m really stupid…\” All the feelings mixed together turned into feeling helpless. The mouth is an axe, and words are a tongue-cutting knife. Compared with direct abuse, the harm caused by an impatient tone is hidden.Sexual and unnoticeable, it unknowingly increases the distance between you and your child. For example: \”Wear so little, you deserve to freeze to death.\” \”Don\’t you have eyes? Don\’t watch the car.\” \”Just do it, don\’t come to me if you are sick.\” There is a question on Zhihu: \”What is it like to have a mother with a sharp mouth and a heart of tofu?\” One answer was impressive: \”I don\’t believe that a person with a sharp mouth will have a heart of tofu. Even if there is, it will be hard and frozen. Tofu, the kind that can smash people to death.\” The heroine Ru Meng in the movie \”The New King of Comedy\” was never recognized by her father because she was a walk-in. His father scolded her that \”you can\’t hold up a wall with mud\” and threw all her luggage away. Go downstairs and tell her never to come back. The daughter left home in despair. A few days after leaving, the father secretly followed his daughter to the set to see if anyone was bullying her, for fear that her daughter would starve and be wronged. Later, Rumeng succeeded in becoming a big actor, while her father shed tears silently in the audience. Harsh words from parents are often a sign of not being able to express love or speak. There are many people who often talk harshly and think that it doesn\’t matter no matter how ugly or cruel they say. But the fact is that your family can\’t see your sadness at all, they can only see the real hurt. For example, if your child doesn\’t have enough clothes to wear, you are obviously worried, but you express it with a strong attack: \”Just do it! Forget about freezing to death! I won\’t care about you!\” After a few harsh words, your family will not be able to see you. In the end, the child was unwilling to open up about himself, and the parent-child relationship deteriorated. Stop rationalizing your knife-mouth with tofu heart. A knife is a knife, and it will only bring harm to the child. Examples of sarcasm and denial: \”I\’ve never seen anyone as stupid as you.\” \”You\’re really useless.\” \”I wouldn\’t have given birth to you if I had known better.\” There was such a news last year. There was a boy born in the 2000s. I climbed to the top of the 33rd floor, sat on the rooftop railing and wanted to jump off the building. The cause was that the family bought a refrigerator that day, and something went wrong when the deliveryman went to deliver it to his home. The child called his mother to ask, but he couldn\’t speak clearly because the signal was not good. The mother became anxious and scolded: \”Why are you so stupid? You should die!\” The child\’s father also scolded him: \”You are so old and you don\’t even understand this!\” The boy couldn\’t think about it for a moment and crawled away. He went to the rooftop and was fortunately saved by the police. Can you blame the child for his glassy heart? In fact, it is not the case. The deepest hurt in the world is always caused by words. Sometimes the people closest to you are hurt without even realizing it. This kind of psychological torture often makes people collapse. There is a story: There was a boy with a very bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the backyard fence. The boy did so. On the first day, he hammered 37 nails. But slowly, as the number of nails hammered each day became less and less, he found that it was easier to control his temper than to drive those nails. He told his father about this, and his father said that from now on, whenever he could control his temper, he would pull out a nail. Days passed, and finally the boy told his father that he had finally pulled out all the nails. The father said, \”Son, you did a great job. ButYeah, you look at those holes in the fence, they can never go back to the way they were before. The harsh words you say when you\’re angry, like those nails, leave scars. \”When we say bad words to our family members, we drive a nail into their hearts, and such damage can never be repaired. Lin Yutang said: \”Speaking is not easy. We talk every day, but it doesn’t necessarily mean that we can speak. We have been talking for a lifetime. How many words are particularly good? \”Children learn to speak when they are less than one year old, but from speaking to speaking well, it takes a long time to explore and learn. As parents, it is necessary for us to communicate with the people around us gently and rationally, not only to set an example for our children, but also to speak well. The importance of speaking is also the key to a happy family.