The greatest blessing for a family is to raise children who learn to be grateful

Qian Zhongshu once described Yang Jiang in one sentence: \”A unique combination of three incompatible things: wife, lover, and friend.\” The love between this literary couple is not only romantic under the peach blossoms, with the crescent moon like a hook. , also combines the tacit understanding and perseverance of the heart. The couple\’s cultivation of their daughter Qian Yuan is even called a model of humanistic education. Qian Yuan inherited his parents\’ talents and became a professor in the English Department of Beijing Normal University. He pioneered English \”stylistics\” and was quite accomplished in the professional field. Qian Yuan often said when she was a child: \”My father and I are the best buddies. We are my mother\’s two naughty boys. My father is not worthy of being my older brother, but only worthy of being my younger brother.\” When she grew up, no matter how busy she was at work, Qian Yuan would always rush back. At home, I sew pajamas for my mother who is a light sleeper, and peel off candy wrappers for my father who loves sweets. Yang Jiang, daughter of Qian Zhongshu and Qian Yuan, said in the Book of Songs: \”When I was born, my mother bowed to me, caressed me, animalized me, raised me and nurtured me, cared for me and returned me, came in and out of me. The virtues you want to repay, Haotian is incompetent.\” The greatest blessing for a family is not to raise promising children, but to have promising children who know how to be grateful. The sorrow of Chinese parents: they give everything but cannot raise grateful children. There is a discussion group on Douban with a name that makes all parents tremble: Parents are a disaster. Some of them complain about their parents\’ poor upbringing, and some feel that they cannot enter the upper class because their parents are too poor. The resentment towards his parents in his words made others feel chilled when they saw it. This is the tragedy of Chinese parents: they give all their efforts, but they cultivate ungrateful white-eyed wolves. In many families, parents shoulder the burden of life and provide their children with a greenhouse garden that is impervious to rain and wind. Children are accustomed to accepting and asking for things unilaterally, enjoying everything with peace of mind and not cherishing it at all. Investigate the reason, why? How to teach children to learn gratitude and respect? It is a blessing for parents in their lives. In fact, the answer is very simple: many parents often only care about their children having enough food and clothing, and only care about their children\’s grades, but they forget to teach their children to be grateful. For a family, parents are the root and children are the fruit. If there is something wrong with the fruit, there is probably something wrong with the root. If the child does not know how to be grateful, there is often something wrong with the family education. A child who doesn\’t know how to be grateful is useless no matter how good he is. If a child does not know how to be grateful, no matter how outstanding he is in other aspects, it will be of no benefit to the family and society. Do you still remember the news about the foreign student who killed his mother? A mother worked hard to provide for her children to study abroad. This boy has studied abroad for five years and often visits high-end places. His annual tuition and living expenses alone cost him almost 400,000 yuan, while his mother can only earn more than 7,000 yuan a month. When his mother could no longer provide high living expenses, the boy actually stabbed his mother with a knife at the airport. Later, in an interview with a reporter, the boy calmly said that he thought his mother was lying to him and was unwilling to give him money, so he was very angry and exploded. Mother\’s unlimited love and indulgence actually breed hatred and complaint. For a child who is ungrateful, no matter how much his parents do for him, it will be normal in his eyes. Once the normal in his eyes is broken, he will feel resentful. ShakespeareAdam wrote in his \”King Lear\”: Ungrateful children bite the heart more painfully than the sharp teeth of poisonous snakes. The saddest thing in the world is that when parents are waiting for their children to be grateful, the children are waiting for their parents to apologize. Family affection does not need to be reciprocated, but it deserves gratitude. There is an old saying in China: \”Raise children to prepare for old age.\” But most parents love their children out of instinct and do not seek anything in return. Educating children to be grateful is just to let them know that they are enjoying the contributions of others and that their lives are happy because of the contributions of others. Nietzsche said: \”Gratitude is the health of the soul.\” Lin Zexu also said: \”With bad intentions, feng shui is useless; if parents are disrespectful, worshiping gods is useless.\” Family love is not one-sided love and care, but the warmth and comfort of both parties. . Gratitude is not a burden of debt, but a motivation to move forward. When Qian Yuan was ten years old, he returned to the Qian family\’s old house for the first time. At that time, all the children of the Qian family, big and small, gathered in the courtyard to play, but Qian Yuan was the only one who stayed quietly beside his grandfather, reading. The girl leaned against the end of her grandfather\’s bed, tucking him in the quilt for a while, and turning the pages of a book for a while. Children who know how to be grateful will care and love the people around them from the bottom of their hearts, and do their best to do what they can for their families. His understanding, strength, optimism and gratitude will become a lifelong asset. Gratitude comes from love; love is fulfillment, but also letting go. Teaching children to be grateful is easier said than done. The most important thing about gratitude is love. In the old concept, \”hitting means kissing, scolding means loving\”, and punishing someone if they disagree is actually a kind of rudeness and laziness. Later, \”encouragement education\” became popular. Everything was done according to the children\’s wishes, and every detail was taken care of in terms of food, clothing, housing, and transportation, but the children\’s feelings were perfunctory, and it was far from being called love. When it comes to educating children, the methods of Yang Jiang and Qian Zhongshu are worth learning from. 1. The love between husband and wife moistens things silently. Qian Zhongshu and Yang Jiang have a deep love for each other, and their daughter has been able to take care of others since she was a child. Whenever Qian Zhongshu went on a business trip, he never asked Yang Jiang to take good care of his daughter. He only asked A Yuan to take good care of his mother, and Qian Yuan always agreed responsibly. Whenever his father asks for leave due to illness, Qian Yuan runs to comfort him: \”Tile, Tile, ears, purring, purring, our father can\’t be scared.\” If a couple lives with their children as the center, they will blindly dote and care for them. Pampering; if the relationship between husband and wife is bad and the family atmosphere is tense, the child\’s psychology will also be affected. On the contrary, if the couple loves each other, the children will also learn to behave like adults, learn to love and accompany them, and will naturally know how to be grateful. 2. Lead by example and influence others subtly. Yang Jiang once said: \”The role of role model is very important, and words are not as good as teaching by example.\” They never give instructions to their daughter\’s education, but penetrate it subtly. The two of them loved reading. When their daughter saw them, she followed the example and gradually became enlightened. Qian Zhongshu has never been able to show off his father\’s dignity. He is even more naughty than his daughter. Every day when he goes to bed, he hides his daughter\’s toys, mirrors, and stationery under the quilt, setting traps for his daughter to take the bait. The two enjoyed it endlessly. Don\’t be too strict with your children. Let the children play and learn, and there will be no barriers in their hearts. While they grow up happily,My heart is filled with warmth. Of course, I will give back to my parents and the world with warmth. 3. Let go appropriately and learn to be independent. When Qian Yuan was a child, he asked his father if he didn\’t understand English. Qian Zhongshu did not teach her, but encouraged her to look it up on her own. Sometimes she even had to look through 5 or 6 English dictionaries to look up a definition. The couple never did everything for them, so they developed Qian Yuan\’s independent character. Yang Jiang once wrote in the collection of essays \”We Three\”: \”When A Yuan grows up, she will take care of me, like a sister; she will accompany me, like a sister; she will take care of me, like a mother.\” Nowadays, many parents are carrying heavy burdens. Deliberately leave your children a peaceful time. But responsibility and gratitude are not achieved overnight. Only when parents learn to let go properly can their children learn to fly on their own. The greatest blessing for a family is to raise grateful children. At the end of the year in 1997, Qian Yuan wrote a limerick to pay New Year greetings to his mother, Yang Jiang: The cow refuses to eat grass and wants to repay his mother\’s kindness. I would like to pick the flowers of forgetfulness to express my gratitude to my mother. At this time, Qian Yuan was seriously ill and could no longer eat. She died not long after this poem was written. The last thing she left in the world was her love and gratitude to her parents. Bi Shumin said: \”Parents in the world, if you love your child, you must let him start to love you and the people around you from the moment he can. This is by no means selfishness of adults, but the foresight of thinking for the whole life of the child.\” The so-called teaching children \”Being grateful\” does not mean telling your children how difficult it is for parents to tell them in person and asking them to be filial when they grow up. Rather, it teaches children the ability to love, learn to love themselves, learn to love their parents, and learn to love life. Tell your children that life is not easy. Tell your children that your parents do not want you to repay your kindness, but they hope you will know how to be grateful. This is not selfishness of parents, but a vision for the future life of their children. May all parents in the world be treated with tenderness by their children.