The day before yesterday, I saw the news about a nanny slapping a child and force-feeding her rice cereal. I felt bad all over. When the nanny was feeding rice cereal to a one-year-old child, the child vomited the rice cereal on the table. The nanny was \”in a bad mood\” and angrily slapped the child on the head and hit the child hard on the arm, causing the child to cry loudly. The crying only made the nanny treat the child more forcefully. Since the child had rice cereal in his mouth but did not swallow it, she forcibly raised the child\’s head, pinched the child\’s nose and forced the child to swallow the rice cereal. The poor little child was unable to resist and was forced to swallow while crying, almost suffocating. The nanny thought that her employer was not at home and no one could see what she was doing, so she condescendingly and ruthlessly abused a helpless little baby. Little did they know that all of this was caught on camera, and the anger on her face, the cold smile when she saw the child in pain, the vicious eyes and expressions were now clearly visible to all netizens. Although I have never known the abused child, as a mother, when I saw the animated picture on the news, my first reaction was to rush into the phone screen and beat her up. Usually, when I feed rice cereal to my half-year-old daughter, I always carefully test the temperature for fear of burning her; mix it carefully for fear of being too thick and choking her; and control the portion size of each spoonful for fear of feeding too much with one spoonful. She has trouble swallowing. The nanny is an outsider, and it is true that she cannot be expected to be as affectionate as a mother, but even if she only regards taking care of the children as her job, she should be meticulous and dedicated. If you can\’t do it, you should at least \”touch your conscience\”! It is really bad to beat and scold a child because he spits out rice cereal. He is indifferent to the child\’s pain and fear and only intensifies it. After the painful condemnation, extremely worried mothers still have to face this problem: Who should take care of the baby? Who will take care of the child? This was a question that was too simple to answer – there is no more suitable person than my mother. Without the guidance of modern psychological theories or the appeals of parenting experts, just relying on maternal instinct, we also know that the younger the child, the more he needs his mother. Once the child is born after ten months of pregnancy, everything is strange when the child comes into this world. They are so scared, so weak, and so helpless. Only mother can make them feel safe instinctively. However, in China, \”who will take care of the child?\” is a very complicated problem. Today, the family planning policy is becoming more and more relaxed, and the pressure to survive is becoming more and more intense. So, who will take care of the baby? Sometimes, this is not something we can do ourselves. Ask someone to take care of you: You are absolutely lucky to find a good nanny. We do not have a perfect system to support mothers to take care of their children themselves. Although maternity leave is slightly longer than before, the positions will not be vacant, leaving many mothers thinking about their future when they take leave. What\’s more, a few months of maternity leave flies by in a blink of an eye, and mothers have no choice but to leave their babies waiting to be fed and go back to the workplace. A friend had his second child when Dabao was already in junior high school. Both parents are old, and they both have to work, so they have to hire a nanny to take care of the children. This nanny is a strong-willed person and likes to make her own decisions in everything. If she has a different opinion, she will reluctantly agree to it only after repeated repeated requests. It’s also delicious. I like to take advantage of the fact that my employer is not at home during the day and cook the food at home.Take it out and try out new dishes and make a sumptuous meal. If you can\’t finish it or you can\’t finish it, throw it away secretly. Moreover, this nanny is not diligent enough, and things at home are just careless and never perfect. However, the salary she received was not low. It turned out that this nanny had worked for a certain family in this community for many years. She was recognized as fond of children and dedicated to raising them. She had a good reputation in this regard. A friend said: \”As long as she is good to her children, other shortcomings can be ignored.\” I can particularly understand this feeling. If you entrust your beloved to others, how can any parent say this and that to \”others\” without any scruples? Who is not nervous and worried about their children? When I gave birth to my daughter last year, I hired a confinement nanny. The confinement nanny is only responsible for taking care of the mother and baby, and does not do housework. She also eats three meals a day with her employer\’s family. My husband is on paternity leave. He goes shopping for groceries early every morning and asks the confinement sister carefully what she likes to eat. He tries to make every meal as rich as possible. There was not enough manpower in the first place, so when I saw that he was spending too much time cooking, I advised him to cook simply because he wouldn’t be able to finish the meal anyway. My husband half-joked and half-seriously said to me: \”No, we can\’t let the confinement sister-in-law think that we have neglected her, and the daughter is in her hands.\” It\’s no wonder that he was worried, because we have heard many negative reports: the confinement sister-in-law gave her a lot of money at night. The baby who wakes up frequently is given sleeping pills, the nanny secretly pinches the baby when she is dissatisfied with the employer, the nanny deliberately does not respond to the child with a straight face, and scares the child with fierce eyes… Hiring someone to take care of the child is not like hiring someone to cook, which is too salty. It\’s edible after all; it\’s not like hiring someone to clean it. If it\’s not clean, you can rework it. How can you dare to let go of your child now? Elderly care: Family conflicts are the biggest side effect. Most mothers choose to let the elderly care for them. First, the elderly are devoted to their children, and second, they reduce financial pressure. However, in fact, the elderly have a lot of \”worry\” when raising children. Different ways of raising children and different living habits between the two generations will bring about various conflicts, which are not conducive to the growth of children and even affect the relationship between husband and wife. A friend said that her mother always likes to cover her children. No matter when, I feel that my child has less clothes. Other children wear single clothes, but her one-year-old son wears an extra coat and a vest. The child\’s neck is always wet with sweat. My friend told her mother many times, but her mother disagreed: \”It rained today and it\’s cold. Your child\’s hands won\’t feel warm even if you touch them.\” The child\’s hands are not cold, it\’s the grandmother\’s own hands that are warm. Besides, to judge whether a child is cold or not, the temperature of touching hands is inaccurate. The child\’s hair is sweating. This is really \”a kind of cold that makes your grandma think you are cold.\” In fact, life is not bad, but when it comes to children\’s spiritual growth and education, sometimes the elderly behave improperly and refuse to listen to advice, which is really a great trouble. There is a neighbor who has a grandma taking care of her grandson. The grandma’s characteristic is “as long as the child is comfortable.” Therefore, during the long hot days in Shenzhen, the four-year-old boy always wore crotchless cotton and silk pajamas hanging downstairs. The grass, bushes, and parking lots were all good places for children to urinate at will. The mother of the child communicated with the grandmother several times to no avail. I heard that there was a family conflict over this matter. The mother felt that the child was acting like this, the grandmother felt that the mother was making a fuss out of a molehill, and the father felt that it was unnecessary.It\’s more difficult to do, and the child is at a loss: listening to grandma, being criticized by mother, he doesn\’t know what he did wrong. Living under the same roof as an elderly person, there are already many things that need to be tolerated by each other. Coupled with raising a child together, conflicts are inevitable. The old man feels that he is trying his best. After all, he is old and taking care of children is physical work. It is very common to have waist and leg pain. It is very aggrieved that such hard work is not understood. Parents of children feel that communication is fruitless and their children cannot be raised in their own way, which is also very troublesome. As time goes by, there are a lot of family conflicts, I am exhausted from work, and I feel restless when I come back from get off work. Full-time caregiver: Those who raise their children alone are all super mothers who quit their jobs and go home to take care of their children full-time. This can be said to be a woman\’s huge contribution to the family and deserves the respect of everyone in the family. Children under 3 years old are too young to go to kindergarten and must be cared for 24 hours a day. Many mothers do not rely on the elderly or nannies, but take care of themselves. I think they are very brave and capable. Anyone who has never been the main person to take care of a child will not understand how much extra work a little baby will bring to the family, and how much time these tasks will take. The working hours are long, the labor intensity is high, and there are eating, drinking and sleeping countless times a day. The day and night cycle repeats. The work content is getting more and more: making complementary food, telling stories, washing and mopping the floor, chatting and playing with each other… There will always be new challenges. However, this most arduous job is often not recognized by others and has a thin sense of existence, which makes mothers who are tired physically and mentally tired. \”She, if she doesn\’t work, she just takes care of the kids at home, and her life is great.\” \”My wife doesn\’t have a job, so she just takes care of the kids at home, and she relies on me to make money.\” Such remarks are ridiculous. Without a stay-at-home mother, the child what to do? It\’s as if his children have been able to take care of themselves since they were babies. What\’s more, many stay-at-home mothers give up their career development for the sake of their children. When they raise their children, they lose their right to speak because they have no financial income. When their children go to kindergarten, they have to adapt to the workplace and make changes again. In fact, no matter who brings the baby, the three years after giving birth are the most worrying and difficult years for a woman. Every move and every smile of the baby touches the mother\’s heart. Mothers who can take care of their children are very lucky. Full-time mothers who take care of their children attentively are using three years of hard work in exchange for a lifetime of no regrets. There is nothing more important than giving children a greater sense of security at an early age. Mothers who hire a nanny to take care of their children must remember to \”be on guard against others\” and please don\’t give up all your trust easily. Even if you go to a regular housekeeping company to hire a \”good-looking\” nanny, you should pay attention and take precautions. Please remember that there is no shame in being \”little-hearted\” at this time. Incidents of slapping young children and even more serious abuse need to end from “careful” parents. The elderly come to take care of the children. Mom, please remember that no matter how capable the elderly are, they should only be \”helpers.\” Even if you go to work, you should be the \”leader\”. It’s hard to go to work, so you can be a little “lazy” when you go home. Don’t do trivial things, and the most important thing is to spend quality time with your children. No matter how experienced the elderly are, they cannot replace new mothers. There is nothing trivial about raising a child. Grasp the big ones and let go the small ones. You should persevere.No compromise. Women are naturally weak, but mothers are strong. Even if sometimes they are not understood, they still have to use their strong hearts to love their children. Such mothers are really amazing. When facing children, we must be wise and tenacious because we are mothers. Remember: when we choose to give birth to a child, we bear the greatest responsibility for him. No matter who is taking care of the baby, we must do our best to protect him and prevent him from falling into a helpless and fearful situation. Weak children rely on our love to survive. We must be very intentional and careful in responding to the courageous trust they express with their lives when they choose to “come to us”.