The underlying logic of rules in parent-child education?

When you read articles and watch videos, you will often see contradictory methods taught by some experts. Some say you can spank your children, some say you cannot spank your children, some say you should delay gratification, some say you should not delay gratification… and The key is that what the experts say makes sense and sounds right. This makes people have a headache and they don’t know who to listen to. For example, a child wants to buy a toy in the supermarket. This toy is what the child has always wanted, and he happens to see it on sale here, but the child has spent all the money for the toy this month. So should you buy it for your child? The child used to follow the rules very much, but he likes this toy so much, so you discuss with the child to buy it next month, but the child disagrees, then do you want to buy it? Some people may say not to buy it, because they can’t buy whatever their children want, and the rules have been set, and they can’t be changed at will and let the children ignore the rules; while others may say that it’s okay to buy it, because if you buy it once in a while, as long as it’s not Frequent breaking of rules will not affect the child\’s understanding of the rules. The key is that it can also make the child feel that you love him, which is beneficial to the parent-child relationship. Look, are these two views very reasonable? So who are you going to listen to? In fact, it doesn’t matter whether you buy it or not, because a single educational act often does not have much impact on children. If the child you have been educating has formed rules and habits, and he has always abided by the rules in the past, then if you break the rules this time and buy them for your child, will your child\’s concept of rules change 180 degrees and start to lose control? Follow the rules? Similarly, if your child has always had a bad parent-child relationship with you, then even if you break the rules for him this time and buy something for him, will your child\’s parent-child relationship with you immediately change? This is all unrealistic. There is no right or wrong in simple educational methods or educational techniques, and they will not have much impact on children when used in a specific educational scenario. What really has a long-term impact on children is your underlying educational philosophy. Based on your basic educational philosophy, you will observe your own educational thoughts in all aspects of life, so you will have a constant educational effect. This educational effect cannot be reversed by you occasionally having different educations. In other words, as long as your basic educational philosophy is correct, the children will not have major problems as a whole, and it doesn\’t matter if they receive an incorrect education once in a while. Similarly, if there is a problem with your underlying educational philosophy and the child has already developed serious problems, then an occasional correct education will not mean much. Therefore, instead of always focusing on those educational techniques, you might as well study more about your own underlying educational philosophy.