There are four major categories of children who throw tantrums. Which category does your child belong to?

What’s the most infuriating thing about raising a baby? The naughty kid lost his temper! It was clear that everything was fine just now, but suddenly it turned against anyone. The sky was clear one second, and it was stormy the next. When I reasoned with my child, he refused to listen, and he kept crying and refused to listen. As a mother, the fire in my heart suddenly started to rise. It is natural for children to lose their temper. How to guide the child\’s temper benignly is a mother\’s skill. Below, Xiaowuwu sorts out the four types of situations where children lose their temper, and gives practical solutions based on the children\’s performance in the cases. Parents, you can take the correct advice and prescribe the right medicine to solve the problem of your child\’s tantrums in a more targeted manner! Switch tasks and lose your temper ☞ Specific case: Scenario 1: Before dinner, Mom: It’s time for Mom to eat, don’t watch cartoons, come here quickly! Haohao: No, I want to watch! Mom: If you don’t come over for dinner, you won’t be able to watch tonight! (He started to lose his temper and refused to eat on the table) Scenario 2: When I get up every morning, mother: Get up quickly, brush your teeth and wash your face, or you will be late for school if you don’t hurry up! Haohao: I have to go to school again, and I don’t want to go. (The child starts crying and refuses to get out of bed no matter what.) Among executive skills, there is a skill called \”switching cognition\”. It can help our brains shift from one state to another quickly and effectively, which is very easy for adults. However, when children\’s frontal lobes are not fully developed in early childhood, they may not be able to adapt to this change in state. Daily manifestations include being unable to enter the state after a long period of time from recess to class; when asked to suspend activities, they often cannot control themselves to stop. Then he started to lose his temper. A collection of 100 children\’s songs with continuous playback of 1080P ultra-clear videos ☞ Little Wandou\’s tip: For this kind of tantrum problem, parents can give early warning to their children to give them a transition time. Let the child move from one activity to another gradually, rather than switching immediately when time is urgent. For example, before watching a cartoon, tell your child that after watching it for five minutes, we will eat; after getting up, you can rest for five minutes before brushing your teeth and washing your face. Because you don’t switch to the next task immediately, the child will agree if there is a buffer. After agreeing, you can set an alarm clock and need to be reminded again when the time is almost up. This will help the child to smoothly switch from one task to another. Many scenes in life involve task switching, such as coming home from the mall, getting ready to go out, finishing watching TV, etc… Parents can give it a try! Speech is unclear and tantrums☞ Specific case: Scenario 1: Playing with toys with other children. Mom: What happened? Child: He won’t let me play, but I want to play. Mom: So you are angry? Child: Yes, I wanted to play, but he wouldn’t let me play, so I hit him on the head! Scenario 2: The child encounters a difficult problem and doesn’t want to do it: I don’t want to do the questions anymore. Mom: Just hold on a little longer. Haohao: I don’t want to do my homework. Mom: Just finish this question. Just finish it. Haohao: I don’t want to do it (I start to cry and make a fuss). Many children have not stored verbal expressions for different emotions in their brains, and they still retain the language of babies.No matter how old you are, whether you are crying, hungry, or feeling uncomfortable, you will always yell and cry. So when these children are unable to express their emotions, needs and problems, they can only deal with it by losing their temper. Usually, when one\’s own requirements are not met, there will be violent tendencies, such as hitting, biting, and swearing. And when asked about the child\’s emotions afterwards, the child often answered \”I don\’t know\” and \”I just want to do this.\” ☞ Little Wandou’s Tips: Faced with this problem, parents can take \”three steps\”: Step 1: Compare your feelings to help your children express the emotions they want to express. You can use the sentence structure of \”Is it… or…\”, one step Step 2: Get closer to the child\’s heart; Step 2: Define the problem so that the child can clearly state the reason for this emotion; Step 3: Invite the child to think of a solution together, or parents provide a feasible plan and let the child make a decision. How to go through these three steps will be very clear with a case demonstration: \”Haohao: I don\’t want to do the questions. (Step 1) Mom: Well, you don\’t want to do the questions. Are the questions too difficult? You just want to go out and play and don’t want to do the questions? Haohao: The questions are too difficult and I don’t want to do them. (Step 2) Mom: The questions are difficult, so you are unhappy now. So, why can’t you do it? ?Haohao: I don’t like to do calculation problems. (Step 3) Mom: But these exercises are homework to be completed today. In this case, Mom will do it with you and see who can do it quickly and accurately. , if I win, will my mother get a reward? I don’t know how to adapt and lose my temper ☞ Specific case: Scenario 1: We agreed to go to the amusement park in advance, but it rained heavily. Mom: It’s raining heavily outside, and we can’t go to the amusement park. We are here Play at home, or watch your favorite cartoons. Haohao: I’m going to the amusement park! Mom: It’s raining so heavily outside, how can we go there? Haohao: I don’t care, you agreed to go to the amusement park today Scenario 2: The robot accidentally broke. Haohao: My robot broke! Mom: It’s okay, we can just buy another one. Haohao: No, I want this, I just want him to get better! ( Then he started crying) Some parents are confused, why do sometimes even when their children are given a good solution, their children still start to lose their temper? Children before the age of 3 still tend to think in black and white and find it difficult to accept sudden changes in flexibility. Some children are still like this when they are 4-6 years old. This type of child prefers a predictable and regular way of doing things, and will become restless once uncertain, unpredictable, and ambiguous situations arise. This usually manifests as losing one\’s temper in protest when something is unplanned or different from usual. Moreover, this kind of emotion lasts for a long time and can easily create an atmosphere of confrontation with parents. ☞ Xiaowou’s tip: The best way to keep this kind of child emotionally stable is to live a regular life so that he has a full sense of security. Develop a regular life, guide and respect children to make some arrangements for their own lives. Allowing your child to \”give orders\” will not only make him more emotionally stable, but also help him develop good behavior with one habit. At the same time, you need to be guided step by step in daily life and accept surprises and changes in things. For example, observe and record daily weather changes. Daily weather changes are unpredictable. Discuss the foods and colors that everyone in the family likes to eat. Everyone has different preferences. Discuss open-ended questions so that children are aware of the variety of outcomes. The budding self-esteem caused trouble and lost temper ☞ Specific case: Scenario 1: Playing badminton with others and losing. Huahua: Hahaha, I won this game. Haohao: (Pinch your badminton racket tightly and play as if you are motivated. The more you lose, the worse your performance will be.) Scenario 2: The results are out, and they are worse than expected. Mom: This time the results have deteriorated, and this knowledge point is even worse. Make up for it. Haohao: I just made a mistake due to carelessness! I can do well in the exam next time! (Then he starts to get sulky and moody) From the age of 5, children begin to have a strong sense of self and their self-esteem begins to sprout. He desperately wants attention, wants to do well in everything, and even wants to prove himself. At this stage, there are two main reasons for him to lose his temper: he finds it difficult to learn a new thing, or he is not as good as others. Because I am too anxious to do well, I easily lose my temper once I encounter setbacks. ☞ Little Pea’s Tip: When dealing with children whose self-esteem is beginning to sprout, it is a good principle to criticize as little as possible. For example, it is much better to break things and ask your children what they should do than to tell them why you are always careless and who did it. At this stage, the child is very aware of what he can and cannot do. If you ask them to do something that they feel is beyond their capabilities, they will react by throwing tantrums. Whether they are crying and hitting others, or crying and yelling, most of it is because they have not yet perfected many related skills. The reasons are different, and the solutions are also different. But when a child has a tantrum, the last thing you should do is to use the tantrum to fight the tantrum. Instead, as a \”practicalist\”, use good methods to ease the child\’s emotions! Parents, let’s encourage each other!

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