These behaviors of parents are cultivating their children into sophisticated selfish individuals.

In order to let their children win at the starting line, parents are willing to do anything. The recent Indian film \”Starting Line\” was released in China at the right time. The end of March to May is a critical time for children to choose a school. Anxious Chinese parents can all see their own bitterness in the movie: The Raj family, who run a clothing business, belong to the wealthy middle class, but in order to send their daughter to the best private school in Delhi, they really went through \”Nine-nine-nine-eighty-one difficulties\”. He moved into a school district house, hired a kindergarten guidance counselor, found connections, and attempted to bribe the principal. When none of this worked, the kind-hearted Raj had no choice but to resort to forging property certificates, exploiting the bottom line of educational equity policies, and pretending to be poor to apply for top schools. In order to cope with the scrutiny, they moved from the rich area to the slums, battled wits with rats, lived in a dirty and messy environment, and had to look at the faces of government officials to get water. The hard work along the way is self-aware. I think this movie is not an exaggeration at all, it is too realistic. I know a couple who are both bank clerks in a provincial capital city. They earn 20,000 yuan a month, and half of their income is used to send their children to the best local international kindergarten, as well as piano and chess interest classes. Every time I see them, I see increasingly haggard faces. They are by no means isolated, just the tip of the iceberg. I understand the original intention of these parents. Everyone wants their children to receive a better education, but in fact, there is really no need to work so hard. Children at the front of the starting line are not superior to others, and children at the back are not inferior to others. No matter where you are, as long as you accelerate fast enough, you can run faster than others; as long as you run fast enough, you can catch up with the person in front of you. The starting line is important, but not so important as to sacrifice the happiness of the entire family. Does a good school equal a good education? Delhi Grammar School is filled with an atmosphere of hypocrisy, utilitarianism, and comparison. The principal\’s philosophy is to commercialize and capitalize education. Everyone looks down on people who don\’t speak English, and cannot tolerate any dishonorable behavior. You may be able to learn a wealth of knowledge, but it is a corrupted education. If things go on like this, children will easily grow into that kind of refined egoists. As Professor Qian Liqun of Peking University said, he is a type of person with high IQ, worldliness, sophistication, good at performing and knowing how to cooperate. I think this is why Raj had to go through the transfer procedures for his daughter at the end of the film. In Raj\’s view, winning at the finishing line is more important than winning at the starting line. How far a person can go in the future depends on his personality. He passed on his beautiful qualities to his daughter through words and deeds. \”If I can\’t be a good person, how can I be a good husband and a good father?\” Raj set a good example for his daughter by donating to public schools where poor people attend and completing transfer procedures, and also gained support from his wife. He felt very gratified when he saw his daughter Pia found friendship in the slums and understood that less is more and sharing is caring. I very much agree with Raj\’s approach. Knowledge can be continuously learned, but the mark left by personality is indelible. It is said in the \”Three Character Classic\” that filial piety is first, followed by knowledge and knowledge. Education must put moral education first, adults first, then talents. This is also the core of education in prestigious schools.Heart. Looking at the country and abroad, the most important thing for famous schools is to cultivate a sound personality. The motto of Tsinghua University is: Continuous self-improvement and virtue; the motto of Southeast University: Stop at perfection; the motto of the University of Pennsylvania: In order to live successfully, you must have the ability to be recognized by others. Independent personality; Japan\’s Gakushuin University motto: integrity, consideration and spiritual aristocracy. A sound personality may not allow children to win at the starting line, but it can give them the acceleration to catch up and win at the finishing line. God favors people with upright views and good qualities. Bezos, the president of Amazon, gave a passionate speech: \”Kindness is harder than intelligence. Intelligence is a gift, but kindness is a choice.\” Talents are easy to come by – after all, they are innate. The choice is quite difficult. If you\’re not careful, you can be seduced by your talents, which could compromise the choices you make. And in the end, it is choices that shape our lives. \”You can still learn useful knowledge even if you can\’t go to a famous school. Like Raj, if his daughter didn\’t go to a famous school, wouldn\’t he be able to counterattack? In fact, the development of network technology has already subverted the education industry. Distance teaching and famous teacher connections Lines are common. While we are cultivating children\’s character, we don\’t have to worry about their children\’s shortcomings in knowledge. Online courses are a good way to surpass corners. My friend Aping also wanted to buy a school district house in Shenzhen for his daughter to attend elementary school. To receive a good education, with the soaring housing prices in Shenzhen, he gave up the idea and tried online teaching. He made an appointment online with a Shenzhen special-grade English teacher to give his daughter tutoring courses. He trained English for one and a half minutes at 6:30 every night, and 3 Months have passed, and her daughter’s English proficiency has improved by leaps and bounds, and her oral fluency is as good as that of students from prestigious schools. In addition, online courses such as NetEase’s open courses and MOOCs are also good choices. More and more prestigious schools are providing open courses to the public for free. Public study and further education. In this era, children who want to study will always find a way. What should parents really do? Parents really don’t have to squeeze their heads, spend all their savings, or even go into debt for school district housing and prestigious schools. On the one hand, I have endured the pain that money cannot bear, and on the other hand, my children may also be under huge psychological pressure. What we really need to do is to provide children with sufficient psychological nutrition and create a favorable environment for cultivating their children\’s sound personality. Famous parent-child marriage expert Dr. Lin Wencai said: Psychological nutrition is the underlying code of a child’s lifelong happiness, mainly from parents. Children need five kinds of psychological nutrition on their way to growth: 1. Unconditional acceptance; 2. Let the child feel that he or she is important; 3. Accompany the child Give him a sense of security; the sense of security mainly comes from: the mother\’s stable emotions and a good relationship between husband and wife. 4. Affirmation, praise, and recognition; the role of father in this kind of psychological nutrition is greater than that of mother. 5. Learning, cognition, role model, parents Never give up on self-learning and give your children the power of role models. Sufficient psychological nutrition will produce the \”five golden flowers\” of life: the ability to love; independence; connection; sense of value; and security. When children\’s psychological nutrition is sufficient, You can take your own path in life. As a parent, it is enough to give your children the best education within your ability and within your financial limits. EducateEducation will be stratified, which is an irreversible one-way street, but our ability to cultivate children with sound personalities exceeds expectations. I very much agree with the point of view mentioned by historian Xu Zhuoyun in the book \”The Transition of Times from a Historical perspective\”: The purpose of education is actually to find a way. Generally speaking, children’s education should set broad standards and then allow them to develop and follow their own path. You don\’t have a huge fortune, but you can still raise good children. I believe that your children will be like the students from famous schools who are active in various fields in the future, wearing flowers and leaves, getting rid of all the difficulties, and achieving their own extraordinary achievements.

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