These pseudo-family education concepts are hard to guard against, and you must have been tricked by them too.

At present, in the field of family education, there are some conceptual \”traps\” that parents are unable to guard against. These \”pseudo-concepts\” on family education are accompanied by the impact of complicated and highly saturated information, causing parents to experience \”educational dizziness\” and not knowing who is right and who to believe. So what are the main “pseudo-ideas” in tutoring? What are its causes? What should parents do to avoid falling into the “trap”? Parents are superstitious about the \”pseudo-idea\” of tutoring. Today, \”don\’t lose at the starting line\” is still the slogan for many parents to raise \”chicken babies\”. These parents are always worried that their children will be left behind: some parents want their children to be ahead of their peers. People enroll their children in many extracurricular classes, and even pay high prices for foreign teachers; some parents want their children to learn golf and equestrian even if they are frugal… Li Yuxuan is a well-known \”genius\” in a certain elementary school. In the first grade, he can not only converse fluently in English, but also read newspapers, memorize news, and can do math to the thousandth place orally. He is a child prodigy in everyone\’s eyes. Li Yuxuan\’s parents both graduated with Ph.D. degrees, and they immediately became excited when telling the story of raising their son. His mother once said proudly: \”Educating children means paying attention to their learning status at every stage. As soon as Xuanxuan entered the middle class of kindergarten, we transferred him to another kindergarten. In the previous kindergarten, he didn\’t know any English or mathematics at all. Teacher, how can this work! So we transferred to a private kindergarten that can teach these classes. In addition, we also enrolled him in English classes, Pinyin classes, Go classes and math classes.\” Whenever someone expressed their dissatisfaction to Li Yuxuan\’s parents, When he is worried about encouraging growth-oriented education, his mother will say sincerely: \”Nowadays, most of us are just one child. If we let him lose at the starting line, he will be late, step by step, and by then it will be too late to catch up.\” \”Before the third grade of elementary school, Li Yuxuan was very prosperous. Every time there was a parent-teacher meeting, his parents would share their parenting experience on the podium with great energy. However, this situation came to an abrupt end after the fourth grade. His academic performance dropped sharply due to too many extracurricular classes. As the grades increased, his academic performance became worse and worse, and eventually he went from a child prodigy to a mediocre person. In addition to \”don\’t lose at the starting line\”, some parents also always say \”I am for your own good\”. This sentence seems to be love, but it is actually the greatest control parents have over their children. Shan Zhiyan, an associate researcher at the Chinese Academy of Educational Sciences, has been studying family education, development and educational psychology for a long time. She told reporters that during the research process, she had seen too many stories like this: children don’t want to learn piano, but want to play drums. But the mother responded to the child with one sentence: \”I am your mother. You listen to me. Learning piano is more useful. I am doing it for your own good.\” The child wanted to choose his favorite history major, but the father felt that this major was not popular, so he treated the child Said: \”You can\’t find a job after studying history. You can make more money after majoring in finance. I am your dad, and I am here for your own good!\” These parents have all gone into misunderstandings in raising their children. \”Fake ideals\” in family education are hard to guard against. After many interviews and combing, the reporter found that there are quite a lot of \”pseudo ideals\” in the field of family education at present: if you are the eldest, you have to give up to the second child; children can only make progress when they go to college.information; parents should give all the best things to their children; they cannot become talented without playing; boys should be raised poor, girls should be raised rich; introverted children are not good, but extroverts are good;… Some of these \”pseudo-ideas\” in family education are They exist in the form of mantras, and some exist in the form of ideas, which all affect parents\’ parenting concepts to a certain extent. Sometimes, the more parents persist, the more mistakes they make. Li Haoying is the vice president of the Education Innovation and Evaluation Branch of the China Future Research Society. She has long been engaged in research on children\’s education and family education. In her opinion, \”If you are the eldest, you have to give in to the second eldest\” is also a \”pseudo-idea\”: The boss is the boss. How to treat the second or even third child fairly is a concern of many parents. Especially when children are arguing about trivial matters, more parents will say this casually. \”This method seems to restore calm at home as quickly as possible, but what kind of values ​​do you want to establish at home?\” Li Haoying asked. \”\’Brothers are friends, brothers are respectful. Brothers are in harmony, and filial piety lies in the middle.\’ The \”Disciple Regulations\” advocate the values ​​of \’harmony\’ and \’filial piety\’.\” Li Haoying further explained that, in fact, among brothers and sisters, cultivating Its sense of responsibility is particularly important. After the arrival of the second child, parents should pay more attention to the eldest child, and while giving him appropriate choices, let him take on more tasks of taking care of the second child. In the collaboration of each other\’s work, the eldest brother\’s sense of responsibility is more easily stimulated and he will love his younger siblings more. At the same time, the second child also found a role model to learn from. This is to establish harmonious, loving and responsible family values. Some wrong family education concepts often become the standards pursued by some parents, resulting in the cultivation of many problem children. So, what are the reasons for the emergence of these \”pseudo-ideas\”, and why do some parents firmly believe in \”pseudo-ideas\”? In Shan Zhiyan’s view, there are four main reasons for the emergence of “pseudo-ideas”: first, the contrast between strong school education and weak family education; second, theoretical research on family education fails to provide sufficient support for practice; third, The society\’s requirements and guidance for parents are insufficient; the fourth is the impact of social utilitarianism on family education. \”Theoretical research on family education in my country is generally weak, so family education practice lacks solid theoretical support. There are not many correct, operable, and popular family education methods that society can provide parents, and it cannot dominate family education practice. But family education needs But it is very strong, so some specious family education concepts and methods are widely disseminated by some \’experts\’ who are good at dissemination.\” Regarding the second major reason, Shan Zhiyan added in detail. Parents lack the ability to discern \”pseudo-ideas\”. Some \”pseudo-ideas\” in tutoring can indeed play a certain role in a short period of time and achieve good results. However, if these \”pseudo-ideas\” are blindly adhered to for a long time, they will affect the children. healthy growth in the future. Some parents lack the ability to discern these \”pseudo-ideas\”, but real experts who study family education, psychological education and other fields can give us guidance. Jiang Jiwei is the director of the Preschool Education Department of Beijing Union University Teachers College. He has long studied preschool education and thinking education. In his opinion, the statement \”don\’t lose at the starting line\” is specious. Some parents are misled by this view.Children are given a head start in learning, enrolled in various classes, and efforts are made to \”educate and shape\” children, leaving adults\’ learning and development needs, educational content, and projects on children, causing childhood disruption. \”This approach violates the natural laws, routes and progress of children\’s learning and development, deviates from children\’s learning methods and characteristics, and ultimately creates a \’half-hearted person\’. The child\’s next stage of development lacks a suitable foundation, and the result is that there is no starting point at the starting line. They lose, but they often lose in the midfield and second half. This is a good intention to do bad things, and it is thankless.\” \”Children\’s learning and development have its own characteristics. In short, games, life, activities, direct perception, practical operation and Personal experience is the content, expression, method and approach of children\’s learning and development.\” Jiang Jiwei added that the more fully-equipped these children are, the better the learning and development results will be, and the more wisdom and stamina they will have in learning and work when they grow up. . Therefore, parents should not set up another area of ​​\”learning and education\” in addition to children\’s learning and development to interrupt the natural rhythm and process of children\’s learning and development. \”I\’m doing this for your own good!\” is a mantra that many Chinese parents often say. Shan Zhiyan concluded: When these parents make decisions for their children, they will habitually show their stance and use \”I am right\” and \”I am doing this for your own good\” to express their position. \”These seemingly selfless excuses are actually a manifestation of parents\’ control over their children. These parents ignore the true inner needs of their children, package their desire for control in the name of love, and deprive their children of their right to make free choices as subjects.\” Why do some parents like to control their children? Shan Zhiyan said that this is related to the cultural tradition that the elders of China’s farming civilization are rich in experience and often pass on survival skills to the younger generation. Therefore, in traditional China for more than two thousand years, elders have always been respected, and parents have a high degree of control over their children. Even in the \”Internet+\” era, many parents still cling to traditional concepts and regard themselves as authorities. \”However, everyone\’s life is their own. Only they know what they want and what they don\’t want. They have the most say and decision-making power. Parents can make suggestions, but they cannot make choices on behalf of their children.\” Shan Zhiyan emphasize. The demand for family education guidance is urgent. Nowadays, with the increasing needs for the protection of minors and the prominence of family education issues, family education is no longer just a \”family matter\”, but has become a \”major event\” that the whole society pays attention to and participates in. How to solve the phenomenon of \”pseudoideas\” in family education, relevant experts gave the answer. \”There are some specious things in family education that cannot be distinguished.\” Cheng Fangping, a doctoral supervisor at the School of Education, Renmin University of China, told reporters that people are different and require different education methods, so one cannot \”one size fits all.\” Educate your children with the concept of \”accurate\”. Such a concept will easily become a \”pseudo concept\” because it does not work for your children. In Cheng Fangping\’s view, family education must be detailed to all aspects of children\’s growth, specific situations must be studied, and methods that vary from person to person can be effective. In addition, parents\’ thinking and method problems are somewhat misaligned under the guidance of \”pseudo-concepts\”. This also requires relevant departments to provide long-term and detailed guidance to parents on scientific parenting. Zhao Gang is from Northeast Normal UniversityDirector of the Family Education Research Institute, he has been engaged in family education-related research for a long time. In his view, \”counterfeiting\” in the field of family education, like other social services and commodity sales, has the same characteristics: social demand and profit. \”In my opinion, the \’pseudo-idea\’ of family education is to take advantage of parents\’ human instinct to hope that their children will succeed, and to propose unscientific educational views that seem to care about but actually hide commercial interests.\” Regarding how to solve the problem of \”pseudo-idea\”, Zhao Gang It is believed that we need to start from the following aspects: First, establish religion according to law and discipline according to law. The promulgation and implementation of the \”Family Education Promotion Law\” must improve the effective continuation from legislation to law enforcement, so that the guidance, professionalization and legalization of family education form a complete social management system. CCTV recommends over 500 excellent documentaries with high scores. Children will become addicted to self-discipline after watching them. The second is to improve the status of family education subjects in accordance with laws and regulations as soon as possible. In a country with more than 400 million families, family education issues are related to people\’s livelihood and social harmony and stability. Without professional theoretical guidance and scientific social evaluation, the problem will only remain the same or even continue to worsen. The third is to promote parent education. Family education is a natural form of education that a person is born with, and it is also a science and art that must be learned. Finally, Zhao Gang emphasized that with the rapid development of society, the diversity of family structures, and the emergence of a large number of problems in parent-child relationships and home-school relationships, it is necessary to improve the quality of Chinese parents and the level of family education disciplines. Parent education is adult education, a social service, and has the dual attributes of career and industry. The huge number of targets for parent education is unmatched by other education systems. It undoubtedly provides researchers and instructors in this field with a broad development space. This requires us to be more firmly prepared to welcome this opportunity and choice and find a suitable path. An innovative professional and legal development path based on China\’s national conditions.