This is how children become outstanding. You can use these 4 golden rules.

A few days ago, the college entrance examination triplets from Hengyang, Hunan became popular. The eldest, Zhao Zhenxing, scored 664 and was admitted to the University of Science and Technology of China; the second, Zhao Zhenzhong, scored 674 and was pre-admitted to Peking University; the third, Zhao Zhenhua, scored 654 and was admitted to the University of Science and Technology of China. Netizens saw it and said: The three brothers have tested an arithmetic sequence, which is simply too good. However, after getting to know them, you will find that their excellence is inseparable from one person, their mother. Complete collection of perfect compositions for primary school students in grades 1-6 + Complete collection of excellent primary school compositions + All 4 volumes of award-winning compositions for primary school students in PDF. The three brothers took a photo with their mother. When they were in elementary school, their father was working out of town. As an engineer, my mother is busy maintaining the company\’s electrical equipment during the day, and takes time to tutor them in their studies and check three homework assignments at night. “When we were young, we loved Mathematical Olympiads. My mother would study it by herself every day and then discuss it with us. She would also accompany us to make study plans and help us develop the habit of independent learning, making us feel that learning is an interesting thing. \”In their eyes, their mother has never forced them to study since they were little, but guides them according to their hobbies and accompanies them to do it together. Looking at the children who have achieved good results in the college entrance examination over the years, you will find that their parents often have several obvious characteristics: they attach great importance to their children\’s education and help their children develop various good habits from an early age. Praise or supervise your children promptly so that they can develop their strengths and make up for their shortcomings. Set a good example for your children, communicate, learn and grow together with your children. Excellent children must be the result of \”accompanying\” their parents. The exam is not only a competition of knowledge on the paper, but also a competition of investment in education. So how to raise a good child? The People\’s Daily once summarized four golden rules of education from the four perspectives of \”letting children take their own responsibilities, understanding their true demands, respecting their growth, and cultivating their good habits\”: The Law of Natural Punishment When a child makes a mistake: Wrong punishment methods: verbal punishment, violent punishment, \”indirect consequence\” punishment. Scientific punishment method: Discuss the matter on a case-by-case basis and let the child bear the direct consequences of doing something wrong. There is a video online of a playful and curious child mixing rice and mung beans sold in the supermarket. When the mother saw it, she didn\’t scold her too much. Instead, she bought all the rice and mung beans that had been mixed and asked her children to pick them out one by one. British educationist Herbert Spencer once said in his work: \”In the process of raising children, parents should use more natural education methods and less artificial punishment.\” The \”natural punishment\” here refers to Children suffer the \”direct consequences\” of their mistakes. For example, when meal time comes, the child is still playing games and cannot move. If you miss the meal time, you will be hungry. And \”artificial punishment\” means making children bear \”indirect consequences.\” For example, if a child doesn\’t eat, his parents tell him that if he doesn\’t eat, he won\’t be allowed to play basketball on weekends. There is no direct relationship between not eating on time and playing basketball. \”Direct consequences\” allow children to realize their mistakes in time, but \”indirect consequences\” will arouse children\’s rebelliousness. \”roundIn an episode of \”Table Party\”, psychologist Li Meijin once said: \”Punishment is actually a kind of protection.\” After a child makes a mistake, if he can immediately experience the consequences of the mistake, then this matter will remain in his mind. The memory will be very deep, and naturally the scar will not be healed and the pain will be forgotten. The purpose of \”punishment\” is to \”stop\”. Natural punishment is to allow children to reflect on and correct their behavior after bearing the direct consequences, instead of not daring to make another mistake just because of fear. South Wind Law When a child has a problem: Wrong way of education: focus only on wrong behavior. Scientific education method: understand the real motivation behind wrong behavior and solve the root cause of the problem. The hit drama \”Come on!\” The middle school student Xiaofu in \”Mom\”, because his younger brother has been in poor health since he was a child, his mother pays more attention to his younger brother, and coupled with his unsatisfactory academic performance, he always thinks in his heart that his mother does not love him. At a young age, he didn\’t know how to express his helplessness, so he could only use rebellious behaviors to win his mother\’s attention. Later, his parents divorced, and the husband mistakenly thought that his mother was going to abandon him, so he took his parents and younger brother away and planned to set fire to commit suicide. After his suicide attempt, he roared out all the grievances in his heart. It was only then that his mother had answers to all his previous rebellious behaviors. It turns out that he has always misunderstood that his mother only loves his younger brother. It turns out that the eldest son, who seems to be excellent, will not be confident in himself. It turns out that all he has always wanted is his mother\’s attention and love for him. After reflecting sadly on herself, the mother expressed her love and care to her son over and over again, and the two finally reconciled with each other after clearing up their misunderstanding. In \”Stop Your Inner War\”, there is this sentence: \”Behind every negative behavior, there is a positive motivation.\” Children who are addicted to the Internet may be escaping the pressure of the real world; children who always stay in their own rooms may be It is because they want to have their own space to be alone; when children are rebellious, they may want to resist parental control or seek parental attention… Behind every seemingly negative behavior of children, there may be a positive need that has been ignored. The best way to solve a problem is not to fight the problem itself. But when a child has a problem, parents can play the role of \”South Wind\” more, be more patient and understanding; get closer to the child and \”listen\” to the child\’s true appeal. The Law of Respect When children express their ideas: Wrong ways to respect: Only respect ideas that we approve of. Scientific way of respect: Accept all your children’s ideas, you can disagree, but please don’t reprimand them. Previously, a mother filmed a conversation between herself and her son: The little boy asked his mother, what if he was admitted to Tsinghua University in the future? Mom said of course she was proud of him. The boy asked his mother again, what if he baked sweet potatoes? After hearing the child\’s \”wish\”, the mother smiled and said congratulations on the child\’s new wish. While congratulating, the mother guided her child that since she wants sweet potatoes, she must bake them fragrant, soft, sweet and delicious. As long as she does this, she will be proud of her child. Children\’s dreams are ever-changing. If those “unrealistic” dreams in childhood could be recognized and encouraged by parents. Then when you grow up, as a childOnly when students have new dreams in their studies can they boldly pursue their true dreams in life. In psychology, there is a word called \”significant others\”, which refers to specific people who have an important influence in the process of individual socialization and psychological personality formation. When a child is growing up, parents are the child\’s \”significant others.\” The choices and thoughts towards children, and the attitude of parents will have a subtle impact on their children. When a child puts forward his or her own idea, even if it is somewhat incompatible with your plan for the child, please agree first, because a child\’s growth is a process of change, and ideas and choices will iterate as experience increases. What he thinks at the moment may not necessarily determine his life, but your attitude towards his thoughts at the moment may affect his life. Respect is the recognition of children as independent individuals. A child who is respected by his parents at all times can feel his own existence and recognition more clearly. When the Law of Reinforcement helps children develop habits: The wrong way to develop habits: forcing children to continue to do one thing. Scientific way of cultivating habits: Let children understand the purpose of developing good habits, and guide children to actively cultivate habits. Also, in the process of developing habits, children can continue to feel their progress through periodic positive feedback. When my daughter was young, I cultivated the habit of reading in her. I made an agreement with her to read for half an hour before meals every day. At first, she did pretty well, but then she couldn\’t hold on anymore. Until one time, I was watching a documentary with her, and she asked me why the person explaining the documentary knew so much. I said because he has read a lot of books and has a lot of knowledge in his stomach. Unexpectedly, after listening to my words, my daughter ran to the bookshelf to browse the books, and said to me: \”Mom, I also want to be a knowledgeable person.\” Since then, I often deliberately strengthen knowledge in front of her. Importance, in this process, I will also say intentionally or unintentionally that if you want to become a knowledgeable person, you need to read more. Sure enough, my daughter resumed the habit of reading for half an hour after school. In fact, the key point in this matter is that the child has a clear goal for reading. When she knows what results this habit will bring, she will take the initiative to do it without me urging her. . We often say, why is it difficult to cultivate habits for children? In fact, it is difficult to persist. The purpose of cultivating habits is to make children persist, but those who cannot persist are often the process of cultivating habits. What really motivates a child to continue doing something is because in his heart he believes that doing so is the right thing to do and that he can achieve his goal by doing so. Let the children understand why they do this? What does this bring? By strengthening this habit with a purpose, the child will naturally have the motivation to stick to the good habit. When habits become orderly instincts, persistence becomes natural. As teacher Yu Minhong said: \”The growth of life is to turn habits into instincts. Repetition becomes a habit, habit becomes nature, nature becomes personality, and personality becomes destiny.\” Zheng Yuanjie, the king of fairy tales, once said: \”If parents\’ education methods are qualified, children will be able to Really outstanding.\” Parents are the starting point for their children. When a child makes a mistake, if we can control ourselves not to get angry,Make the mistakes involved in other things and guide the children to learn from the mistakes; when a child has a problem, if we can not just focus on the problem, but work with the child to find out the root cause of the problem and solve the problem; When a child\’s choice is inconsistent with our expectations, if we can restrain our opinions and respect the child\’s wishes; when cultivating a habit for the child, if we can do it, we will not force him to repeat an \”action\”, but guide the child Make it clear what it means to develop good habits. Then please believe that each of our children can grow up to be more confident, sunny, and happy. There is a saying: \”Parents are the mirror of their children, and children are the shadow of their parents.\” The best education ultimately comes from precepts and deeds. No education method can be as good as parents treating themselves as education. Only when parents\’ knowledge and actions are united can their children learn the same. Click \”Like\” and encourage your parents!