• Sat. Dec 2nd, 2023

This mother did these 5 things to help her child go from the bottom three to the top three

Friends often ask, \”You know so much about children\’s education and are so attentive, your children must be very good.\” I often say modestly, \”It\’s okay, not too bad.\” In elementary school, my daughter still gave her mother face. , although he is not a child prodigy, he is still very worry-free, and his grades have always been among the top 10 in the class. My best friend reminded: \”There are two things in the world that can never be explained, and that is children and husband. No one knows what will happen in the end? You must not take your children lightly.\” Her best friend\’s words hit the nail on the head. After graduating from elementary school, my daughter successfully entered a key class in a middle school. Although we knew that the competition in key classes was very high and we were mentally prepared, our children\’s midterm exam results still surprised us. It\’s so tragic. The child\’s overall ranking is at the bottom of the class, and even his best Chinese language is ranked third from the bottom. When I learned the news from my child’s class WeChat group, I was instantly stunned. After repeatedly checking my daughter’s name and grades, I couldn’t help but shed tears. I lamented in my heart: \”It\’s so shameless. My child has always been an excellent student, and I have always prided myself on being a caring mother. However, this time she actually did so poorly.\” The child\’s results were like a slap in the face. The slap made my head spin. When tears dripped on the phone and blurred the ranking list, I slowly woke up. As a mother, I am so sad, let alone a strong daughter? I want to cheer up, grow up with my daughter, and face this setback together. Later, I did the following five things. By the time of the final exam, the child\’s Chinese score had jumped from the third to last place in the class to the top three. Although her results are still not very stable, she has stood up from that failure. Accept children and change irrational perceptions. When I saw my children’s results that day, I was getting off work on Friday. I played light music in the car and tried to heal myself. Here is my analysis: (1) Absolute requirements. In the past, I often told myself that I should accept the fact that my child is an ordinary child, but I always thought from the bottom of my heart that she was an excellent student and her grades would never be bad. I use the inverse sentence of \”anti-golden rule\”, why can\’t my child be a poor student? There are about 50 students in the class, and there are always some children who are at the bottom. Why should my child be at the top every time? In this way, I truly accepted the child for the first time. (2) Overgeneralization. When my child was counting down for the test, I immediately denied that he was too stupid. Even denying myself, all my past efforts have been in vain, I am not a competent mother. I found that I have a tendency to overgeneralize. Children\’s achievements are only temporary, and failures are also temporary. One cannot deny everything. (3) Extremely bad. When I saw my child\’s grades, what I immediately thought was that it was terrible. With these grades, I would definitely not be able to get into a good high school or a good university. What should I do if I can\’t find a job in the future and become a \”cheating old man\”? The more I thought about the situation, the worse it became, and the more I thought about it, the more worried I became. But when I accepted that the child might be a poor student and that this performance was only temporary, it suddenly dawned on me. I was prepared for a protracted war, even prepared for the worst, even if my daughterMy son will become a poor student from now on, and I will accompany her to face it. As a child, she was already under pressure from school and society. If her parents continue to blame her, she will be so pitiful. Play wildly with my child and release my emotions. When I adjusted my mood and returned home, my child was sitting at the desk and timidly called me, with red eyes. I hugged the child and said to him: \”Mom, I know it. You are very sad, and I am also very sad. You can cry if you want.\” The child\’s tears fell straight down like broken beads, and his body was shaking constantly. . How helpless she was, this was the first time she had faced such a huge setback. How scared she was, afraid of being disappointed by her parents, worried about being scolded by her parents. After the child cried, her body relaxed but her mood was still very low. Neither my husband nor I mentioned her grades. After dinner, I suggested, \”Let\’s go to the arcade to play games, relax, and let the unhappiness pass like lightning.\” My husband and daughter immediately agreed. After playing games like crazy, my daughter\’s emotions were released, and her gloomy face burst into smile again. Looking at my daughter\’s sweet smile, I was thinking that even if my daughter is a poor student from now on, she must become a happy poor student. Hold a family meeting to help our daughter find out the reasons. During the regular family meeting on Saturday night, we calmly analyzed the reasons for the failure of the exam with our children. Take the Chinese language test as an example: (1) External reasons. This is the first time for my daughter to fill out picture cards with 2B pencils. Because she pursues perfection, she is always worried about whether the pictures are heavy or light, so it takes up too much time. (2) Taking exams lightly, failing to review essays accurately, and severely deducting points for missing questions. (3) The review of classical Chinese and reading comprehension questions in Chinese are not clear, the answering skills do not meet the requirements of middle school teachers, and the usual accumulation is insufficient. We worked together to help our daughter find out the reasons for her mistakes and find specific solutions for each item, and then asked her to conduct special training on her weak areas and overcome them one by one. The most important thing is that I want my daughter to understand: First, this result is only temporary. She was an excellent student before, so she has the potential to become an excellent student. As long as she works hard, she can stand up again. Second, congratulations to her, she is now with a group of excellent students. Communicate with each subject teacher and seek help from the teacher. In the second week, I went to the school to communicate with each subject teacher of my child. In doing so, on the one hand, I want to find out the crux of the child\’s failure in this test through the teacher, and listen to the teacher\’s suggestions. On the other hand, this can give teachers a message that parents care about their children\’s growth, so they will naturally pay more attention to their children. As soon as every subject teacher saw me, they said they were also shocked by their daughter\’s test scores. Based on my daughter\’s usual performance and tests, her grades shouldn\’t be so bad. This gave me a lot of peace of mind. After communicating with the teacher, I conveyed two messages to my daughter. First, every teacher has high expectations for her. The English teacher thinks her score should be above 140, and the Chinese teacher thinks she should be among the top 10 in the class. Second, the teacher also made suggestions for her weaknesses. For example, the English teacher asked her to recite a large amount of texts and write them down silently. After hearing this, my daughter’s confidence greatly increased and she said: “It turns out that this is my impression in the teacher’s mind.So good, I will definitely not disappoint their expectations. \” Actively participate in my daughter\’s class activities and set an example. After the mid-term exam, my daughter\’s class teacher wanted to invite a parent to the school to give a lecture to the child, to stimulate the child\’s fighting spirit and inspire the child with the parent\’s inspirational story. After I learned about it, I signed up immediately. Mr. Know After I signed up, I said, \”My daughter did so poorly in the exam this time, yet you still teach her children, I admire your courage. \”I said: \”Because of this, I want to go even more. I want to set a positive example for my daughter. \”I would like to thank my daughter\’s class teacher. Finally, among the several parents who had signed up, she chose me, the parent whose child ranked third from the bottom, to share. In those days, I used my time off work to carefully prepare the PPT. Prepare materials and use my non-standard Mandarin to share \”We Grow Together on the Road to Education\” with the children. I tell stories from a parent\’s perspective and personal experiences to inspire children: failure is not terrible. Setbacks are only temporary. As long as you have confidence and work hard, you will surely have a bright day. When I was sharing on the stage, I saw my daughter’s relaxed brows and her knowing smile, and I smiled happily. Maybe I am a selfish mother , this class was actually specially prepared for my daughter. Of course, other students in the class also gained something. At the end of the semester, my daughter’s Chinese score jumped to third place. The surprise came too fast. Although I knew that in the key points In the class, it is normal for our daughter to be ranked first in the class, and this ranking is unstable. But we are still very happy with the child\’s progress, and she has regained her confidence. Finally, I want to say that in such uncertainty, In this era, no parent, teacher or parenting expert can know what the future world will be like. As a parent, you can only grow up with your children and face them together.

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