This time, I won’t reason with my children.

I found that I am a very reasonable person. Sometimes I get confused myself. Why does such a good principle fail to make sense? For example, trying to reason with your wife is useless in the end. Someone will pat you on the shoulder and point out a clear path: \”Brother, you should be more careful and don\’t reason with your wife, because they are always right.\” What a painful realization! And after having children, I actually often \”reasoned\” for a period of time. So I told my son cracklingly about it. Sometimes, before the story is finished, my son has already disappeared. Now that I think about it, in the eyes of my children, I must have looked very stupid. Many mothers asked me to talk from a father\’s perspective. What should fathers do when raising children? In fact, dads are often too rational. But for a child who is full of vitality, rich in emotions and unpredictable. Reasoning rationally is often the most useless. But the reality is that mothers are constantly trying to reason with their children. A few days ago, I went to a friend\’s house to talk about something. I was drinking tea in the living room when curses came from the next room. \”Hurry up and pack it up for me. Do you know that this is what your father earned so hard, and it was destroyed like this.\” \”Do you know how tiring it is for us to raise you? Why don\’t you think about us?\” Friend He motioned for me to sit down for a while. Then he went to check it out. After a while, he brought his son over with his head lowered. But the child\’s mother still followed him reluctantly, holding a sheet in one hand. \”Look, if your son does good things, you have to explain it to him.\” It turned out that the child used his own colored pen to doodle on the sheets. Not to mention, the paint looks really nice. But I didn\’t dare to say it because I was really afraid that the angry mother would also scold me. Fortunately, a good friend stopped my wife\’s anger. Promise to reason well with your son. The little guy lowered his head and was frightened. Waiting for dad\’s disposal. I quickly whispered: \”Don\’t scare the child, just wash it and it will be fine.\” My friend smiled and said nothing and asked my son to sit next to him for a while. Too many children are lectured by their parents because of their naughty behavior. However, have we ever really squatted down and explored the inner secrets of our children and the reasons behind their behaviors? \”Before being swallowed up by dark reason, the world of childhood is constructed and measured by hearing, smell, and vision.\” This is a sentence in the movie \”The Boy in the Striped Pajamas.\” When I saw this sentence, it suddenly awakened a lot of doubts. This is the world of children. The so-called rationality almost does not exist. The way they understand the world is through the most direct sensory contact. Of course, there will also be thoughts. For boys, most of them are fantasy adventure stories, or they can go to the whimsical dinosaur kingdom. For girls, they like to be little princesses, like beautiful castles, like food and dolls. Therefore, in your wonderful childhood, don’t tell a boy who is full of adventurous impulses and wants to find dinosaurs, “All the dinosaurs are dead, so stop dreaming.” Don’t tell a girl, “You can’t be a princess, because Your father is not a king.\” Sometimes those rational truths are like darkness, swallowing upThe innocence of a child. What parents should do is to protect innocence, not be a dark accomplice. What makes us careful with kitchen knives? I think a lot of people have a scar on their left thumb. Because I have several of them myself. They were all made when I was cutting vegetables with a knife when I was a child. But it is these scars that leave us with profound memories. The experience you have learned is real and useful. No matter how much others say, you may think it is redundant. A child\’s personal understanding of things determines his growth, not the principles you preach! I remember one time when my child’s aunt came to the house, we said we would go out for a barbecue in the evening. My foodie son jumped so high. At this time, his mother told him that there was a lot of junk food in barbecue and he should not eat too much, as eating too much would cause stomachache. I think he went in without hearing a word, and his mind was filled with the delicious taste of barbecue. Then it was served. As expected, it was ham sausage, squid, and chicken wings. I wanted some of everything. I also let him eat happily. His mother blamed me for not controlling him. I said let him eat it and he will know after eating it. Then the next day he held his stomach and said to me: \”Dad, my stomach hurts!\” \”What\’s going on? Let\’s think about it.\” \”I don\’t know!\” \”Did you eat something bad yesterday?\” Are you sick?\” \”Oh…\” \”Did you eat too much barbecue and the elves went on strike?\” At this time, he nodded with a serious expression. Remember the \”junk food\” thing because of the lesson. Then we passed by those barbecue stalls. I joked that I wanted to have another meal? He shook his head and said no. There is nothing dangerous about \”stomach pain after eating too much\”, just let your child try it once. Because prohibition only stimulates their curiosity. For children, the pleasure they get from games or destruction is often not as happy as when they get encouragement and attention from their parents. Therefore, actively accompany your children, play games together, watch TV for a while, and read a picture book together. Communicating with each other and encouraging children often make children trust us more. With this foundation, many things can be solved without reasoning. I think everyone has an expectation for themselves. Just like a childhood dream, although vague, it often moves in that direction. In the end, we either live the way we expect. Or just live like that person who keeps saying no. All this has to do with our original family when we were young. The relationship between parents and children often affects each other and cannot be cut off. Sometimes it can lead to a vicious cycle. For example, if there was an alcoholic father at home when she was a child, her daughter will be more likely to marry an alcoholic man in the future. Because we always unconsciously move closer to our childhood selves, because deep down we long for this kind of belonging. Always looking for connection. Teaching by example is far more useful than preaching. Don\’t rely on your mouth to make sense of everything, because smart parents have many ways to make their children understand the truth. I think the most effective thing is the example of parents. So as a parent, I hope my children will be happy in the future. Then you must work hard to sow the seeds of happiness for your children and work hard to live a happy life. In addition, we can concentrate on imprinting the images we expect on children in their hearts. for exampleWith the help of books, this is a very good teacher and a helpful friend. Take picture books suitable for children as an example. The characters constructed in picture books are suitable for children’s inner acceptance and are very easy to imprint in children’s hearts. For example, children don\’t brush their teeth, don\’t go to bed on time, always do dangerous things, or disturb others… These behaviors do need to be corrected, but if reasoning doesn\’t work, parents can use corresponding picture books. Let your children see and then manage their own behavior and emotions. Develop a good habit and character. The hardest thing about being a parent is actually not taking the initiative to teach your children something, but being able to take the initiative not to teach your children anything. Talk less, observe more, and learn more. Try to listen to your child’s inner voice. To experience the world of children, it’s time to take care of your mouth and learn to shut up, which is a big question. Sometimes, too much talking is not as effective as a loving hug.