The weather in Beijing has been heating up in the past two days, and the conflict between M and her mother-in-law has suddenly escalated. One day she got off work early and when she got home, she encountered her mother-in-law peeing M\’s 8-month-old daughter. Moreover, M discovered that her daughter was wearing a pair of crotchless pants given by someone else. She had stuffed the pants in the cupboard with the intention of packing them away and throwing them away. \”At that moment, I realized that she only listened to me on the surface and told me to wear diapers and closed-crotch pants for her children every day, but secretly she went her own way! If we hadn\’t bumped into each other by chance, I don\’t know how long she would have kept it secret!\” Describe this incident to me At the time, M was so angry that his face changed. At that time, M’s mother-in-law explained: “It was hot and the child felt uncomfortable holding her diaper, so I put on crotchless pants to allow her to ventilate.” Of course M didn’t listen. This reason is the same as giving the child water with added sugar. The child loves it more. Drinking the same thing sounds like nonsense to mothers who are pursuing scientific parenting. Now, the biggest headache for M is that as the weather is getting hotter and hotter, how can we prevent her mother-in-law from forcing her child to \”wear crotchless pants and pee\” on the grounds that \”the child is too hot\”? Why do people object to giving children \”poop and pee\”? In almost every family where the elderly help take care of the children, there will be a lot of differences caused by parenting concepts and living habits. Shit and piss have always been at the top of these differences. On one side are the grandmothers who have pooped several children, and on the other are new parents who have read many parenting articles; the old people say, \”Children are raised like this, how can they learn to urinate if they don\’t do it?\” and the mothers say, \”You can\’t.\” \”It\’s not good for the child\’s development to poop and pee.\” Both sides have their own opinions, and no one can convince the other. This concept is not unified, and family conflicts are escalating. In recent years, \”peeing and pooping\” has been criticized by many experts as one of the bad parenting habits. A casual search of the mother will reveal a lot of harm – the movement of pooping and peeing is detrimental to the development of the baby\’s spine and hip joints, and can easily cause Anal prolapse and anal fissure; frequent urination can easily lead to overfrequent urination, which is not conducive to the maturity of the baby\’s bladder function. It can easily cause the baby to be unable to hold back his urine and cause frequent and urgent urination when he grows up; peeing and peeing is a behavior of adults deliberately controlling the baby. It is extremely disrespectful to the baby\’s personal wishes. If things go on like this, it will easily cause the baby to feel pressure or even resist defecation… Every one of them is like a heavy hammer hitting the hearts of mothers, and the result is four words: absolutely not! Yes, any behavior that may cause harm to the baby is absolutely not allowed by the mother. The matter of pooping and peeing was put on a rack of shame. What do foreign researchers think about \”peeing and pooping\”? An interesting experiment was published on a pediatric website in the United States. It was a several-year follow-up experimental study conducted by American pediatric experts on the development of babies\’ toilet habits. The mothers who participated in this experiment began to use the help of professional instruments to judge whether the baby had a need to defecate through the expression of the baby\’s expression starting from 3 months after the baby was born. If you find that your baby wants to defecate, immediately go to a fixed place, such as the bathroom, to relieve your child. A few years later, researchers found that more than half of the children who participated in the experiment were able to basically not wet their pants during the day when they were about one year old, and they could walk to a fixed defecation place by themselves when they wanted to defecate. The researchers explained that the \”shit handle\” in the experimentThe behavior of \”urinating\” is when the mother helps the child after observing the child\’s willingness to defecate. During the whole process, the child is not forced to defecate, but the mother helps complete the matter when defecation is needed. After defecation, the mother will also Express encouragement to the child intimately. Through repetition day after day, the child will naturally associate the defecation location, defecation posture and defecation itself. Although it is impossible to achieve complete autonomous defecation due to the immature development of the sphincter, it can be achieved early. Express your defecation needs to your mother in your own way. What needs to be made clear is: the toilet training results obtained in the above experiments are not the result of \”pooping and peeing\”, but the mother\’s taking advantage of the situation when she observes and understands the baby\’s needs. However, the baby also exerted his own initiative in the process. It is essentially different from the behavior of many people around us who \”pull whenever they want\”, or even \”pull for a long time\” or \”don\’t stop until they poop or pee\”. The former is different. It is the \”peeing and pooping\” that the baby actively participates in, while the latter is the passive \”peeing and pooping\” that is completely dominated and controlled by adults. It has a completely different impact on the physical and mental development of the baby. It is time to correctly understand the \”peeing and pooping\” A friend once asked me on WeChat: My child is almost 4 years old and still wets his pants in kindergarten. Is it caused by his grandmother’s peeing when he was a child? Another friend said very guiltily that the child is still wetting the bed at the age of 5. The elderly person in the family has never urinated or defecated. Others said it was caused by wearing diapers all the time. As a result, she had always believed that pooping and urinating was harmful and unprofitable, but now she is a little shaken…In the Internet age, knowledge is updated very quickly. There is always a collision between old and new parenting concepts. In the collision, some things are put on the altar, such as exclusive breastfeeding; some things are beaten to death with a stick, such as peeing after poop. Our official account once pushed an article \”Can\’t Does Breastfeeding Make You a Good Mother? We all owe breastfeeding mothers an apology\”, telling everyone that maternal love is not measured by milk. No matter whether we have breast milk or not, or how much milk we have, it will not affect us from being a good mother. Today we talked about \”the shit\” again \”Urine\” – Why is this bad parenting habit that we think is useless, but it is tried by the Western parenting industry as an auxiliary method for infants and young children to toilet train? Ultimately, the key to whether there is a problem with \”peeing and pooping\” is that adults are correct What kind of attitude and method should the baby adopt: should it comply with the baby\’s physiological needs, use poop and urine as an auxiliary method of defecation, and guide them to defecate according to the baby\’s rules; or should it show parental authority and self-righteously arrange defecation time for the baby, They even force the baby to urinate every half hour, and persist in holding it for ten minutes or even longer. What brings harm to the baby is the incorrect way of peeing. Therefore, if you don’t want to defend the “truth” and If the elderly at home are upset, tell them the correct way to defecate first. In this way, \”peeing and defecating\” will make the baby go to the toilet more smoothly. Sharing today\’s push is not to encourage children to \”poop and pee\”, but if mothers can catch It is okay to use the child\’s physical or facial expression signals to guide the child to urinate in a timely manner; similarly, if the elderly in the family are used to peeing and peeing, and it is impossible for us to resign from our jobs to take care of the children, then we should have a good discussion and tell them the correct way to \”pee.\”\”Urine\” method. – To capture the baby\’s defecation needs, mothers who take care of their children can accurately capture it: if the baby frowns, pouts, or shrugs, you will know that he is going to have stinky stools. Generally speaking, when the baby is in You will want to defecate after eating or when you just wake up. Since babies urinate very frequently and it is difficult to detect in advance, it is not recommended to urinate for babies under three or four months. In that case, both mother and baby will be very hard. And defecation is a signal It is relatively clear that it is often accompanied by symptoms such as red eyes and tightening of the baby\’s body, so many mothers will adopt the method of \”pooping but not peeing\”, which is too much trouble for themselves and the baby. Even if they want to give the baby a proper stool after three or four months, It is very important to urinate only when the baby needs it. Do not urinate frequently, because urinating too frequently will keep the baby\’s bladder in an \”underfilled\” state, which will cause the bladder to Lack of sufficient exercise will make it difficult for the storage function to mature, burying the hidden danger of urgent and frequent urination. – Choosing a fixed defecation place means regularity. Babies are very sensitive to regularity and order. A fixed defecation place is conducive to their establishment of defecation. Awareness. This location can be a private corner of the house or the bathroom. A place with easy mobility and strong privacy is the first choice. Defecation belongs to personal privacy. Establishing privacy awareness from an early age can effectively help children prevent sexual assault. Many elderly people want to It is convenient for children to urinate, and they like to wear crotchless pants for their children. This is a matter of principle: correct defecation behavior is acceptable, but wearing crotchless pants is absolutely unacceptable. – Intimate encouragement after defecation. With the positive attitude of the mother, the baby is very You will soon feel that defecation is a happy thing. In the experiment, there are professional instruments to help mothers observe the defecation needs of their children, which is impossible to achieve in real life. So when we make a mistake in judgment and help the baby to defecate, the baby will not If the child reacts, or uses ejaculation to express protest, one or two minutes is enough, and the longest should not exceed 3 minutes. Prolonged defecation is indeed detrimental to the development of the baby\’s spine and hip joints. In extreme cases, it may even cause anal prolapse and anal fissure. There is another The first situation is that when you are ready to poop, the baby has already peed or is peeing. It doesn\’t matter, let him finish peeing, don\’t make a fuss, it is definitely not the baby\’s fault. The basic premise of potty training is not to make the baby feel like defecating It is something that may bring punishment. – From correct defecation to normal toilet use, there is also a correct way to open the stool and pee. On the premise of respecting and complying with the baby\’s defecation needs, use the correct posture to defecate and strictly control it. Never control, force or affect your baby\’s mood during defecation; when you are busy with housework and cannot pay close attention to your baby\’s defecation needs, use diapers to avoid stress caused by defecation and affect the mood of raising your baby; use it when going out or going to public places Diapers, insist on privacy first. The correct way to defecate can be naturally connected with toilet training. After the child can sit and observe that the child has a need to defecate, you can slowly stop \”pushing\” and gradually guide the child to sit. The small potty lays the foundation for future toilet training.