Tracking 11,000 children over 50 years: Children who spend more time with their dads are smarter

\”It turns out that dad is very reliable in raising children!\” I was away on a business trip for a month, and the child gave me a big surprise on the first day I got home. At 9 o\’clock in the evening, I snuggled up in bed and finished reading to Tiantian. I was about to sleep with her before leaving like before. Unexpectedly, she said: \”Mom, please go. Dad said I can sleep by myself.\” What? What happened to father and daughter during my absence? In the past, she had to stay on our bed every day, and it was extremely difficult to get her to sleep! Because I was afraid that I would leave, I was often so sleepy that my eyelids trembled, and she still stayed awake, which made me extremely angry and difficult to get angry. Now that I don’t need to accompany you, I’m so happy. After closing the door, I couldn\’t wait to run to ask the baby\’s father: \”What method did you use? Why is Tiantian willing to sleep alone in her small room?\” Unexpectedly, he said lightly: \”I didn\’t use any method. , I encouraged her and told her that she could sleep on her own. After reading to her every night, hugging her and saying good night, I went back to my room.\” I wondered: \”Didn\’t she get up to find you?\” The baby\’s father replied: \”Why not? But as soon as she came to me, I sent her back and encouraged her a few times, and after a week she basically stopped coming.\” It turns out that this was the case. Before the business trip, I was worried that he would take care of her alone. If you don\’t like your baby, you\’re afraid that he won\’t be reliable. It turns out that fathers are reliable in raising children, but I didn’t know. \”When fathers are less nagging, children are more obedient.\” Have you ever noticed that children often don\’t listen when mothers speak, but when father speaks, children listen? For example, when I ask her to do her homework, she procrastinates. Even if I remind her too much, she still finds me nagging me. But her father only said one thing, and the child immediately became honest. Another example is school. As long as I send her to school and remind her three or four times, she is still dilly-dallying. But as soon as her father dropped her off, he just said calmly: \”Tiantian, we are going out.\” She immediately put on her clothes and shoes neatly, put on her schoolbag and went out with him. One netizen\’s mother said: \”I took care of my baby at home for a day and didn\’t do any homework. As soon as my dad came home, I finished all three subjects in an hour. My baby said daddy I was tired and could only play a game of chess. Dad said no. At least after two games, the baby will obey and won\’t bargain.\” This is because the way fathers communicate with their children is very different from that of mothers. When making the same request to the child, the mother\’s tone is gentler. When the child does not comply, the mother\’s tone is slightly compromised. The child will feel it immediately, so he will bargain with the mother. The father\’s tone is more straightforward, and his language is more concise and clear. The child knows that there is no room for negotiation with the father, so the child listens to the father\’s words more. \”The more involved the father is, the better the child\’s performance will be.\” I have watched a BBC documentary \”The Biological Significance of Fathers\”, which contains a research introduction: During the child\’s language development period from 2 to 4 years old, the father has a greater impact on the child than the mother. If a father is more involved in education, his children will score higher on a language test a year later. The reason is that the father does not often speak baby talk, but uses normal adult language, adding a lot of vocabulary that is unfamiliar to the child, thus stimulating language development. And all children whose fathers were involved in their early development were more confident, more patient, and more interested in learning in school.They are also twice as likely to get good grades in school and are even less likely to get into trouble with the law. Researchers from the University of Newcastle in the UK spent half a century tracking 11,000 babies. The results also showed that children who often get along with their fathers are smarter than children who get along less with their fathers. Therefore, whether the baby wins at the starting line, it is not the baby who competes, but the father. The importance of fathers’ involvement in their children’s education is self-evident. \”How to involve fathers in child care?\” There are so many benefits for fathers to take care of children, but in most families, fathers\’ participation is too little in the growth of children. In many cases, either because the work is too busy and the need to make money to support the family is not allowed, or because the mind does not attach importance to the subjective giving up, or the mothers are not at ease, they inadvertently deprive the father of the right to take care of the baby, which results in the father not having the huge advantage of taking care of the baby. be performed effectively. My best friend sent me a screenshot of Moments. Her friend in the UK said: \”Among the parents who send their children to dance classes, there are 7 mothers and 6 fathers. The ratio is about the same.\” My best friend was extremely surprised, because in In Shanghai, when sending children to training classes, it is good if there is one father among the 10 parents. Besides the mother, they are the grandparents, so there is nothing wrong without a father. How to involve fathers in raising children? I have a friend who is a photographer. In addition to taking care of her children, she also has to do housework. When mothers get together, everyone asks her: \”Everyone is so busy. How do you have time to take pictures? And you also give lectures part-time?\” \”Because I While she was busy taking photos, her father took care of the baby.\” Her happy expression really made her sisters envious. She shared several ways to encourage dads to raise their children. For example: When a father takes care of his children, he never points fingers and praises his father in front of the children, so that the children like to get along with their father. \”Where did you go when mom was away?\” \”To the aquarium.\” \”Ah, dad took you there alone and had a big meal. No wonder you are so happy, mom is so envious.\” She said, every time She praised her father in front of the child. When the child snuggled affectionately in his arms, the father looked very proud. Also, I often praise him in front of my relatives and friends, which makes my father more proud and makes him more confident in raising his children. Some friends were worried: \”Are you so trusting to let him take care of the baby? I don\’t dare. The careless guy in my family tried to let him take care of the baby for a day, but he broke the skin on his knees. After that, he didn\’t dare to let him take care of the baby anymore. Her reply was: \”I wasn\’t worried at first, but taking care of a baby is also a habit, and getting used to it requires practice. If you don\’t practice more and encourage more, you will never know that dad can actually take care of a baby.\” .\” Her summary of experience is: 1. Shut up. Respect him and respect the way dad takes care of his children. The father\’s characteristics determine that the way of raising children is different from that of the mother. The mother is more careful and they are more extensive. But as long as you decide to let him take care of the baby, you must trust him, not judge him, and give him full respect. 2. Disappear. Trust him and give dad independent space to raise his baby. When the father is raising the baby, the mother takes advantage of this time to take a good vacation for herself, or go out to watch a favorite movie, or get together with her best friends, or develop a hobby and wait for it to disappear.When she came back to take care of the baby, her mother was resurrected with full health. You can fix a time every week, such as every Tuesday and Thursday night, so that the father and the child can be alone together. This not only exercises the father\’s ability to take care of the baby, but also cultivates the relationship between the father and the child. He also gets precious breathing time. It\’s like killing three birds with one stone. 3. Bravely. Affirm him and praise dad for completing the task of raising a child. Good dads are praised. Bringing up a baby is hard work. Many times, with encouragement or praise, the father becomes more motivated to take care of the baby. As soon as he was hit or criticized, my father immediately became discouraged, and later he simply let his mother take care of everything. The healthy growth of a child cannot be separated from the mother, nor from the father. If a harmonious and stable family is compared to an equilateral triangle with the child as the vertex, then the distance from the child to the father and mother should be the same length. For the sake of the child\’s happiness, the mother can step back a little and let the father walk a little more toward the child. If the father pays more attention and works together with the mother, the child will surely walk better and more steadily. Dad is the majestic mountain, mother is the gentle sea water, and the child is the bird flying freely between the mountains and the sea. I remember there is a song called \”Dad\”, which sings: My baby is thousands of miles away, as long as you can fly happily, that is my greatest comfort, because you are my baby. I hope every baby has mother\’s love. Comforted and accompanied by my father, I can fly freely and happily.