Wake up, children don’t like nagging mothers

Imagine, if there is someone saying the same thing in your ear every day, you have to work hard, you have to work hard, you can\’t hold back, you must study hard. Repeat it several times or even a dozen times every day. I keep hearing that you are numb and want to escape from such a space. How would you feel? Will there be a strong feeling of impatience and anger? Is there an urge to resist conformity and change? It sounds as if the people who say these words care about us and wish us well, but repeating them over and over again and nagging them will only make people more and more disgusted with getting along in this way, thus creating huge hostility. This is the destructive power of nagging. Many parents are used to communicating with their children in this way. He chanted it from morning to night, but little did he know that this actually put the child on the verge of disgust. One child said: My mother likes to nag. The child said: I am afraid that my mother will keep talking about me, but I already know what to do. Some children said, \”I don\’t know how to communicate with my mother. She just repeats those few words and nothing happens.\” My ears feel numb. I believe that these children who are willing to endure nagging must have deep love from their parents in their hearts, so they are willing to stay in a nagging relationship for a while. Even if they have too much dissatisfaction and impatience in their hearts, they still embrace their parents\’ changes. With hope. Maybe they are thinking, what would it be like if one day my parents stopped nagging me? Today, let’s discuss how to communicate with children besides nagging? Nagging is not effective communication. The most effective complete set of video courses on parent-child communication and coordination skills. If parents are responsible for educating their children, then nagging has zero educational effect. Clearly, our attitudes toward our children influence the effective messages we send to them. Once you enter into a chattering relationship, the parent is still standing in a very high position, looking down on the child from above, telling the child what to do, I am doing it for your own good. Children lose their equal status with their parents. Every time a child does something, he will be criticized. This is wrong, that is wrong, and he cannot achieve what his parents desire. In the nagging, the child feels a kind of criticism, denial, distrust from authority, and even a useless loser. This may run counter to our original intention of protecting and loving our children. Nagging is not a kind of communication, it is just a way of venting parents’ emotions, a kind of powerlessness and frustration in life. Maybe some parents think, if I don\’t remind him, he won\’t do it and he will forget. If I don\’t remind him repeatedly, he won\’t know how to act. If I don\’t nag, he can\’t do anything well. When we give our nagging such an important role, we actually deny a child\’s inherent motivation to grow as an independent individual. Have we asked our children what kind of communication they need and how we should talk to them properly? Is it being told and repeated over and over again? Are you chattering in the name of your own good? Are you asking him to do what you want him to do in the name of his parents? One-sided nagging is never communication, it is just considered communication by parents who stand tall. Nagging becomes a form of criticism, accusation, belittling andDistrust is just an effective tool to destroy the parent-child relationship. Nagging is an inner restlessness and anxiety, an emotional behavior. When we feel uneasy, anxious and fearful, we always want to do something behaviorally. I have seen a nagging child. He likes to repeat words several times. I\’m curious as to what made him act like this. Careful observation reveals that, under normal circumstances, he does not nag. He\’ll only repeat it when he\’s not sure you heard him. On the one hand, I may not have given him a definite reply, and he will keep repeating it to make you hear him. This is a child\’s motivation to be seen. On the other hand, he was afraid that he might be criticized if he didn\’t do this well, and he was a little uneasy. He will remind himself in this way, oh, I have to work hard to complete this thing. Therefore, nagging has become a way to relieve stress. This can make a child uneasy. So, I told him, I heard everything you said, you don’t need to say it a few times. You do your job seriously, the result is not important, we will take care of the process. If there is anything unclear, please communicate with me. OK? When his nagging was accepted and he was told the correct approach, his ineffective repetitions were reduced a lot, and he would also start to communicate again in his own language. When his uneasiness and anxiety are seen, his nagging becomes meaningless. Likewise, as parents, have we ever thought about what makes us nagging? I still remember a time when I was nagging my kids about something. After repeating this for several minutes, I realized what had just happened. Maybe it’s because when my child’s behavior doesn’t meet my expectations, I feel angry and frustrated. The nagging becomes, how could you do this? How did you get such a bad result? Have you let me down? Don\’t you know the consequences of this are so serious? When all negative emotions are directed at the child, the child will be swallowed up by the emotion, and the nagging will turn into a man-eating tiger, which will eliminate the child\’s self-esteem, sense of self-worth, and self-motivation. Such terrible nagging has just become a tool for parents to vent their emotions. What we may not realize is that we are bound to face the frustration of being a person and a parent. And this has nothing to do with the child and should not be borne by a child. If we don’t stop nagging and think about it, it will only increase our children’s resentment and hostility towards us, and even allow our children to spin around in our emotions, which will only make our children farther and farther away from us. Be an introspective parent and stop nagging. You ask any child, do you like your parents’ nagging? Their answer must be no. So what do they like their parents to do? Maybe you could try listening to your child. Most of their answers are that they hope their parents can respect themselves, understand themselves and tolerate themselves more. How to do it specifically requires children to teach us. ┌Mom, next time you get up, don’t keep telling me to get up, get up, get up. . . . . . . You call me so many times every day, and it sounds really annoying to me. So what do you want me to do? II hope you only call me 3 times and I will get up when you hear it. If you don\’t get up and are late for school, I won\’t care, okay? Well, okay, in order to prevent me from being late, I\’d better set an alarm clock. Okay, I believe you can do it well. ┘In the final analysis, we must believe in our children, give them time to experience the successes and failures of life, and give ourselves time to keep pace with our children\’s growth. ┌Mom, every time I don’t do well in an exam, you always criticize me for a long time. In fact, I feel very sad. I didn\’t do well in the exam, and I already wanted to cry. You still hit me like that, which I find very boring. Well, mom knows, then I will try not to talk about you in the future and control myself, okay? Well, I don\’t know if you can do it, as if my grades are important to you. Yes, when I was in school, my grades were not very good, so I really hope that when you grow up, you won’t have to endure so much hardship like me. I hope you can relax a little bit. Well, mom, I know this, and I will work hard, but you don’t have to nag me all the time, I don’t like you doing this. Okay, I\’m glad you can express it directly to me and I\’ll try to correct it. ┘In fact, when we maintain an open attitude, explore communication methods with our children, and let each other\’s emotions flow, nagging can be avoided. Monotonous repetition has no meaning. What we ultimately want is for our children to grow up to be what they want at their own pace, have the life they want, and accomplish what they want to do. Being an introspective parent means that when we fall into a nagging cycle, we should stop in time and reflect on whether we have emotions that need to be dealt with and whether there are internal needs waiting for our children to satisfy. We should always deal with personal growth issues first before we can help our children grow better. Children are never the ones to be belittled, belittled or nagged. What they need is our positive response, patient listening, equal communication and unconditional love. May we all be parents who don’t nag.