A few days ago, Weiqi Fan said in an interview that in the two years since giving birth, she has been undergoing psychological adjustment due to postpartum depression. If she hadn\’t said it herself and just looked at her Weibo, you would never have felt that she was a mother with postpartum depression. Because since the birth of her two sons, she has only done one thing on Weibo: crazy about showing off her babies. Post it once in the morning, change the look and then post it again in the afternoon. I also post it on holidays because it is too crazy and too frequent. I also posted it during the military parade and was criticized by netizens. The most criticized time for posting my baby was when Paris, France was hit by a terrorist attack. I still kept posting it until 13 minutes after this Weibo post was posted, before I thought of praying for the victims: \”Praying for Paris~Heinous terrorist attack, So sad…God bless this world…\” As a public figure, she was criticized for such a reckless and crazy post about her baby. Under pressure, she posted an apology on Weibo and continued to go her own way. If we just look at the surface, if she hadn\’t said it herself, no one would understand that behind her crazy sharing of her baby, there was more anxiety about raising her baby. Reading Weiqi Fan’s story, you will find that her depression journey is the same as that of most mothers. This is almost every woman’s journey after becoming a mother. Fan Weiqi\’s depression actually started when she was pregnant. She only found out she was pregnant after a fall. From the beginning of my pregnancy, I was filled with guilt and worry, worried about whether the baby would be healthy. This is something almost every woman will experience after pregnancy. Many times, depression does not start after childbirth, but begins during pregnancy. If you have done X-ray examinations or smoked or drank before you were found to be pregnant, these unconscious behaviors will be like a big stone, weighing on the mother\’s psychology, and she will be worried all day long for fear that these behaviors will have a fatal impact on the baby\’s health. Even if you are preparing for pregnancy normally, you may still worry about your baby\’s health because of your age, your own physical condition, etc. My classmate recently gave birth to a fat boy for the second time. From the day she found out she was pregnant, her classmate has been worried. She said that during her pregnancy, she took out a basin of blood for tests and had countless B-ultrasounds. Every examination took longer than other pregnant women. Every time she got the examination form, she was nervous and always took it seriously with trembling hands. Really, read carefully word for word, sentence by sentence, for fear that you might miss something. There is no other reason than that she is an advanced mother with her second child. When you are pregnant, you will inevitably be worried. Even if you get the color ultrasound report showing that everything is normal with the baby, you will still worry about whether the number of fingers and toes of the baby is normal, and whether the baby is smart enough. I will also worry about whether I can raise the child well after the child is born. This kind of fear will last for nearly 10 months. The most important thing is that she dare not tell her family casually, because speaking out will only increase the family\’s worries, so the pregnant mother can only bury all her worries in her heart. Many women\’s temperament changes drastically after pregnancy, which is also related to prenatal depression. After the baby is born, anxiety and depression can reach a fever pitch. First of all, the birth process of a child will increase the anxiety! Weiqi Fan’s baby was born prematurely and was born one month earlier than the due date.born. This makes Fan Weiqi feel very guilty and always wants to compensate her children more. Isn’t this a situation that every mother will experience? Mothers feel guilty if their baby is born prematurely or if there are various emergencies during delivery. Even those mothers who choose to have a cesarean section when the time is right will feel guilty as their babies grow older. Because cesarean section may cause problems such as sensory imbalance. In every step of the baby\’s growth after birth, when the baby has any problems, this feeling of guilt will pop up at any time. Fan Weiqi said that because she felt indebted, before her child was two years old, she followed her step by step. She would check every three minutes to see if the baby was breathing, whether he was eating well, and whether the child was brushing his teeth correctly. She would also feel guilty when the child was sick. Children will blame themselves if they hit something. Isn\’t this just the daily life of an ordinary mother? A mother’s anxiety and tension about her child starts from the moment the child is born. While the doctor was holding the baby in his arms and taking measurements, he silently began to worry about whether his height and weight were up to standard. After the baby was delivered to her arms, she didn\’t have time to experience the joy and tenderness of being a first-time mother, so she tried her best to support her weak body and nervously gave the baby a full body check: Is the baby\’s hair black and thick? Is the nose straight enough? Are the eyes big enough? Do you have slender fingers and long legs? Of course, you also need to carefully check whether there is an extra small ear segment on the baby\’s ear, and whether there are exactly ten fingers and toes? Every inch of your baby\’s skin must be carefully examined, and any small mole or spot must be consulted by a doctor in detail. This depression does not decrease with the growth of the baby, but becomes more and more serious. The baby does not drink milk well – depression; always sleeps unsteadily, tossing and turning – depression; day and night are reversed – depression; full Eczema all over the head and body – depression; jaundice that lingers – depression… Behind every wave of depression is accompanied by deep self-blame: if I were a qualified cow; if I was in better health; if I was pregnant Pay attention to regular work and rest when…Fan Weiqi said that because of anxiety, she lost a lot of hair and her heart felt uncomfortable. Sometimes when she gets anxious, she can\’t breathe, which makes people feel very uncomfortable. These are classic symptoms of postpartum depression. But many people don’t understand that this is postpartum depression. They always think that this is a normal condition after giving birth. If a mother has such a condition after giving birth, she always thinks it is hypocritical. In fact, when these symptoms occur, it is when postpartum mothers need the most care. Postpartum women have to face many difficulties. In addition to worries and anxieties about their children, they also have to face physical changes, endure the pain of hormonal imbalance, loss of intrinsic value and loss of inner identity. Many women\’s bodies will become bloated after childbirth, and it is very difficult to lose fat after childbirth. The once beautiful figure will never be restored. Changes in appearance also include hair and skin. Some mothers will lose a lot of hair, while other mothers will have a lot of gray hair popping up. Various spots may appear on the skin. All aspects of energy are not as good as before. These are the most direct ways to prove to a woman: You are no longer young! No longer a girl, but a mom! Which woman is not afraid of the passage of age, so when her body shows such changesHow could it not be painful? Paired with changes in appearance are changes in hormones. After giving birth, the secretion of progesterone, which makes people happy, stops, and other hormones cannot return to normal levels quickly. Such low hormone levels make postpartum mothers\’ moods particularly easy to rise and fall. In many cases, their moods are not at all. Be in control of yourself. Many mothers will find that for a few days after giving birth, their happiness feels like they have been sucked away. They are particularly sensitive and irritable, and their mood is particularly depressed. This is caused by low hormone levels. This makes postpartum mothers particularly prone to emotional ups and downs, and many times, their emotions are simply out of their control. What really causes a mother to feel deeply depressed is the fear and worry about her identity changing! Many people think that becoming a mother in ten months is a joyful thing and a sign of a woman\’s maturity. But if we analyze it carefully, we will find that when the baby is just born, it seems that he has upgraded on the surface, but deep down many new mothers are actually not ready to be a mother. Before giving birth to a child, a woman\’s heart is like a little girl who has been cared for by the whole family since she was a child, and is held in the palm of her hand. However, when she experienced the pain of giving birth, looking at this weak baby, the woman knew that she had to give up all her identity as a little girl and assume the role of mother. Being a mother means responsibilities and responsibilities that are self-evident. After becoming a mother, it is no longer possible to be willful and willful, and it is no longer possible to do whatever you want like you did when you were a girl. The pressure brought by this change of identity is very heavy, which will naturally bring more anxiety. At this time, the attitude of family members has a particularly great impact on new mothers. If the family cares about the mother\’s psychology and pays more attention to the mother than the baby, and allows the mother to try changing the baby\’s diapers and bathing the baby by herself, and telling her it\’s okay when the milk is insufficient, more and more mothers will do so. The confidence of being a mother will gradually develop. This self-confidence will overcome the inner feeling of incompetence. After a period of adjustment, new mothers will quickly find a sense of presence. But many of us mothers encounter situations much worse than this. Our traditional culture is to pay attention to the pregnant mother during pregnancy. After the child is born, all attention shifts from the mother to the child. Thinking that the child is delicate and needs to be taken care of. Mom is an adult and has become a mother, so she must have a sense of responsibility. This leaves the mother unable to face her own weakness and incompetence. In particular, some mothers-in-law’s words during confinement are very vicious. When a new mother doesn\’t have enough milk, she will use a disgusting attitude to say how good the milk was when I raised my children in the past, and how fat my babies were. Or they rush to do all the things that mothers should gradually get used to, and only hold the baby over during breastfeeding. These attitudes will further undermine the self-confidence that a new mother does not have in the first place. She will feel that she is not a qualified mother, or that her existence value is not as good as that of a cow. This will aggravate her complete lack of self-esteem. A deep sense of frustration can worsen depression. Some mothers have finally begun to adapt to their new status and are ready to take care of their babies wholeheartedly, but after their maternity leave, they have toFacing the situation of leaving the baby and going back to work. This was another change of identity, which gave my mother a new sense of guilt. Even those mothers who do not have to go back to work and stay at home to take care of their children full-time feel disappointed inside. Because she will worry that when she devotes her energy to raising children, she will be out of touch with society and will never be able to return to normal social life. All these changes are very subtle, but they are the greatest devastation to postpartum mothers. Taking Weiqi Fan as an example, I made a special analysis to tell everyone that postpartum depression affects both celebrities and ordinary mothers. So what can we do when faced with postpartum depression? First of all, you must believe in yourself internally. The best remedy for overcoming depression is self-confidence. Everyone has strong vitality in their body, and this vitality will guide us to grow upward and actively. The same goes for being a mother. Although you will face so many difficult situations and you will be in a hurry, all problems will eventually pass. Most of the people in our society are qualified mothers. So believe in yourself more. No matter how bad the situation is, you must believe that you can overcome difficulties. Secondly, practice more and have more contact with your baby. No woman knows everything as soon as she becomes a mother. All experiences are gained through continuous practice. When you\’re depressed, when you\’re nervous, take a few deep breaths, relax yourself, and tell yourself it\’s okay. What Weiqi Fan told herself when she was depressed and short of breath was very instructive. She said this to her: Fan Fan, these are small things. Although the children are sick, they will get better; or if there is any situation, I have to tell myself that this is the only way for children to grow up. I have to let go of myself and accept myself again. I am not just their caregiver, I am their mother. I have to appear in front of them with a stronger posture. The same goes for our ordinary mothers. Let go of your demands on yourself and try more, and you will get better and better. The mother is the most important person to the baby. Even if you don\’t do a good job, the baby\’s sense of security will be completely different when the mother is close. So it doesn’t matter even if you are clumsy, have trouble bathing your baby, have trembling hands when changing diapers, or don’t have enough milk. Every new mother is like this. Even if your mother-in-law constantly criticizes you, her situation when giving birth is no better than yours. Even a particularly capable confinement nanny is the same. When she first came into contact with children, she might not be as good as you. It was just because she had more practical experience that she was so quick. Allow yourself to practice more and have more contact with your baby, and you will find that all difficulties are temporary. After all, the closeness between mother and baby cannot be replaced by anyone. Your voice and your smell are the baby’s greatest source of security. Again, families must pay more attention to new mothers. As I said before, if everyone can focus more on new mothers and encourage them more, then new mothers will gradually grow up with constant encouragement. If possible, try to involve your mother-in-law as little as possible at this stage. Why do you say that? Because mother only has her own children in her eyes, mother-in-lawShe only sees her son in her eyes, and she doesn\’t have much empathy for her daughter-in-law, so what she mainly sees is her son\’s hard work, and she thinks that everything a woman should do is taken for granted. This can cause great frustration for new mothers. Finally, when you really feel in pain, actively see a psychiatrist. Many people have deep misunderstandings about postpartum depression and often look at mothers with postpartum depression in a strange light. Here, Yuehua would like to remind everyone that if you are particularly uncomfortable, you must actively seek help and have formal psychological consultation or see a psychologist. Psychiatrists are not as cold as you think. There are many professionally trained psychological counselors or psychiatrists. It is very warm and can give you the greatest acceptance and support. This acceptance and support are often the greatest motivation to help get rid of postpartum depression. I sincerely hope that every woman can be treated kindly during pregnancy, childbirth, and childcare. I sincerely hope that everyone can view postpartum depression correctly and give new mothers the greatest support.