What are the correct educational concepts for parents?

Not long after the winter vacation, many parents will feel suddenly relieved because their children have finally returned to their normal routines and returned to school. Parents often have a dilemma, that is, they usually feel that they don\’t spend enough time with their children, but when they spend time with their children every day during the long holidays, they always feel that they cannot be a peaceful parent, as if their children are just challenging. My own emotions make me unable to calm down. If you tell your child something properly, he will not listen, and will even stare at you with provocative eyes. He will have to lose his temper or yell at you before he will listen. This is a scenario that occurs in many families. How to get along with children to avoid this kind of frequent confrontation? Let us ask Principal Zhang to answer your questions. Montessori Education Philosophy Real Montessori Education at Home Selected Program [Full 3 volumes PDF] 01 Correct method to convey educational philosophy Educational philosophy leads to results. Education must have a style, and it must be clearly conveyed to children: where is the bottom line, what will be the consequences if things are not done well, and he must bear the consequences himself. Many parents don’t know what their educational philosophy is. Educational philosophy is the style of conduct, rules, constraints, and commitments displayed between you and your children. If parents always yell in the end, then your educational philosophy is conveyed through this kind of grinning method. There is another way, even if he is not angry, there is no need to yell. As soon as his eyes change, the child has already begun to calm down. Why is this happening? Is this child more timid? Not really, it\’s because for a long time, he has known his parents\’ eyes, expressions, and actions to tell him that he has touched the bottom line. If your child feels that you have no bottom line, then his behavior, language, and thoughts will become increasingly bottomless. Like my child, he is very naughty, but if I am really angry and my face changes, my child will know to calm down and there is no need for me to yell. When he was very young, I took the opportunity to repair him a few times and show him the bottom line. Then in the future, as long as I changed the topic and my face and became more upright, he would also become upright. You don\’t have to dress up every day. I often encourage children that being lively is appropriate and good, but don’t be exaggerated or clamor. Don\’t make the decision in the final communication with the child only by yelling. If yelling doesn\’t work, should we use sticks every day? Your home is like a boxing gym, how do you live this kind of life? 02 A pair of American parents and their twelve children 1. When you love your children, you must have a bottom line. I will give you an example to share with you: There is a couple in the United States. This couple is quite special. They gave birth to a total of twelve children. . The number of children is not important, but it can be seen that they think they are happy to have many noisy children at home every day. Not only are each of these twelve children in good health, but most of them have graduated with master\’s degrees, and most of the tuition fees are not paid by their parents, but are scholarships provided by the public. This is incredible. Their family education is very good. We have breakfast and dinner together every day. The elder brother and sister will take the younger brothers and sisters. Every winter and summer vacation, they will travel for two or three weeks.In travel life, there is a fixed lights-out time every day (10 o\’clock on non-holidays, 12 o\’clock on holidays). Each of the twelve children must turn off the lights and go to bed at that time. Before that time, they also have a very free life. If you only have one child who yells until his throat is hoarse, how will the twelve children yell? The eldest among them is already in his thirties, and the youngest is still in his infancy. This is not an easy thing. Some of the educational concepts they cited are very common things. The most important thing is: no matter what their children do, parents love them very much, but they must bear the consequences of doing right or wrong. Let them bear the consequences and experience the pain themselves, and do not deliberately reduce their consequences because they are sad, and then bear it for them. They may cry, they may be sad, but parents will not take action to reduce the severity of their consequences. This is the essence of their entire educational philosophy. Parents love them very much, but they must let their children be responsible people and bear the consequences of what they do. 2. Let the children learn to be responsible for themselves. Let’s take a look at what they have done and what consequences they have to bear: Children have to help with housework since they are three years old, such as taking the garbage into the trash can and putting it away. After entering, his parents applauded him. A three-year-old child is not very good at cleaning the toilet yet, but after he learns from the age of three to the age of four, he will be able to do a good job. He has to take care of where to put the toilet paper and make sure the floor is not wet. Why are these parents able to get their children to do well? Because the couple will give their children a weekly allowance based on how well they do housework. There is a laundry day set every week. When the clothes accumulate to a certain amount, the child starts washing clothes by himself when he is 8 years old. Based on the points he gets, he can get corresponding pocket money. As long as you appeal to this concept appropriately, it actually does no harm. When parents go to work, they have to fulfill their responsibilities and complete things before they can receive their salary with peace of mind. When you leave society, you only get money when you complete things. The education I am doing at home today is to enable you to use it wherever you go after you leave society, and it is all just and aboveboard. It\’s the same at home. We are a family, we are made up of something together. It would be unhealthy for me to allow you to enjoy everything without paying anything. We often say: A camel carries a huge burden, but an ant carries a tiny burden on its back. An ant is doing its best when it carries a grain of rice, and it is when a camel carries a thousand kilograms. Parents should do their best as parents, children should do their best as children, eight-year-olds should do their best as eight-year-olds, and three-year-olds should do their best as three-year-olds. Why do you need pocket money? Because everyone should enjoy a life in which he can be independent. You can decide where to spend your pocket money, but the amount of your pocket money is determined by how well you do housework. We will set an upper limit for you, how high is it, how much is perfect, how much is 70 points. Of course, children can play Yuanyuan, and Yuanyuan won\’t be very much. It is the normal pocket money they should get at this age. If his housework is not done well, he will have to bear the consequences, which may be half the price, half the price, or even half the price.I can\’t get any pocket money at all this week. From the time a child starts to learn to read, he has to cook according to the recipes in the words he recognizes, and he has to make meals that are enough for the twelve children in his family, plus his parents (grandparents may still be there). The ingredients in the recipe should be gradually increased according to the number of words recognized. Both boys and girls learn to sew. For example, if a button is off, the seam is a little ripped, or the trouser leg is too long, you should pick up a needle and sew it up. Both men and women must learn. If they don’t learn, they will have no pocket money. If you teach your younger siblings well and they sew well, they will be given some extra rewards. Every evening from 6 to 8 o\’clock is study time for the whole family. Within two hours, you are not allowed to watch TV, look at computers, play games, or engage in any activities. Those who have homework do their homework, those who don’t have homework read, and those who have nothing to do teach their younger siblings to do homework and read. These two hours were really like being in the National Library. The atmosphere was very elegant and relaxed, and the whole family was harmonious. From 8 o\’clock to 10 o\’clock, it is completely free time. You can do whatever you like, but at 10 o\’clock, you must go home and turn off the lights. As soon as 10 o\’clock arrives, the door is closed. Otherwise, if you sleep outside all night, you have to bear this responsibility yourself. 3. Small things in life convey big philosophy. When it comes to eating, many parents now chase their children with bowls to feed them, eat while lying on their stomachs, or get under the table to eat. This is totally shameless and they look like they haven’t even eaten. The parents felt that children would be unhappy if they were forced to eat everything on their plate, and sometimes it would not make sense to force it upon them when they were full. So how did they do it? Parents know what their children like to eat and what they don’t like to eat. So if there is any dish today, start with the food you least like to eat (Americans eat one plate per person). Everyone has four dishes and one soup every day. Among these four dishes, which one do you like least? For example, I know who doesn’t like to eat bitter melon. Come on, you have to eat the one you least like before you can eat it. On to the next one, the favorite is at the end. In order to eat his favorite food, he has to eat it first. So if a child really doesn’t like bitter melon and you force him to eat it, what should you do if he doesn’t eat it? They don’t have to eat it, or they can leave the table. But parents always love their children. If they feel hungry after a while, they just need to tell their parents, and the parents will take out the uneaten food, heat it up, and give it to them. Let’s start with the one who doesn’t like to eat. They can still choose not to eat, but if they choose not to eat again, they have no choice until the next meal, and this is the consequence they have to bear. If he cries, shouts, or makes trouble again, ignore him and let him wail there. Once or twice, wailing is useless, and there will be no wailing again. Do you need to yell at him? unnecessary. You only need to tell him: \”Mom and dad love you very much, but do you remember the rules we set? You don\’t have to eat, but you have to bear the consequences yourself.\” If he has been set like this since he was three or five years old, Rules, why do you need to worry about the rebellion of adolescent boys? He has long been accustomed to eating all kinds of food. He has long given up the habit of partial eclipse, and he eats bitter things first and then sweet things.Philosophical outlook has been developed. In the future, do the hardest things first and leave the best things behind. I have three things to do today, and the most difficult thing must be done by him first thing in the morning. 4. Let’s set rules together and abide by them together. How can parents convey educational concepts? It is conveyed through some rules in daily life. In the beginning, when he was three or five years old, you slowly followed his guidance and established rules for him. When setting rules, you must invite the children to make them together, so that the rules will be effective. There are 12 children, and each child has a toy. If the toys at home are not put back in their fixed places, they will slip even when walking. \”Come on, everyone, let\’s have a meeting together. Do you think we should put away the toys after playing with them?\” Let the children speak for themselves. No matter how ignorant the children are, they will also say that they need to be put away. \”Since it needs to be collected, where do you think it is better to collect it?\” It is up to you to decide how to divide the work. \”Should we put them in one place, or should we put their toys in their own rooms?\” \”Two children share a room, so you two don\’t have to clean it up? Or should you put them in a fixed corner?\” Let them Have a meeting and discuss together. After setting the rules, you must follow them. \”This is your decision. I can\’t compromise with you. If you fail to do this, the consequence will be no pocket money.\” Anyway, if something has consequences, there will be no pocket money. What children care about most is pocket money. You\’ve done so much to maintain your family, and it\’s both deserved and honorable that you get an allowance. 5. Doing things yourself is a lot of fun. Develop a habit of doing everything yourself. The parents will announce to their children that every child can get a car when they are sixteen (in the United States, you can get a driver\’s license at the age of sixteen). Everyone was very happy to hear it, looking forward to it, looking forward to it, and looking forward to it again. When one of the children turns sixteen, a tow truck pulls an old car to their door. His 16-year-old child finally got a car, but she screamed: \”Dad, this is a piece of garbage, how can it be a car? I thought it was a new car for me!\” Her father replied. Said: \”Yes, it is junk, but this is a 1965 Quick Cup Mustang (\”junk\” means \”used car\”). If you make this antique car well, it can be a famous car.\” \”This It was the maintenance manual for this most popular car at the time, and I already had the tools in my warehouse. You can start researching it yourself, and you can replace anything you want. I\’ll pay for it, but you have to replace everything yourself, and there is no labor cost. \”Just like those who like to play with old cars, they take the rare ones and start to modify them. The fun is to modify them by yourself. If you don’t know, you can ask her father. Eleven months later, the car\’s motor, transmission, and shock absorber system were replaced. The interior of the car was completely new, and the body was completely repainted. The car she drove was the coolest car in the high school. I am so proud of the remodel! It’s a girl who modified this car with her own hands! She drives a car like this that no one can buy, so the speed is naturally not very fast. The purpose of driving an antique car like this is not to compete with others, but to drive slowly and let people focus on your car. . Her father was really attentive, he dragged her back,It was a really good car in the past and could be used for decades. Although many sheet metal, steel locks, and plastics will deteriorate, the engine is still good. After some basic sorting, she found that this was a very unique car. She was so proud that she couldn\’t describe it. Everyone looked at it with envy. This was her reward. If you are unwilling to modify it yourself, the consequence will be that you will not have a car to drive. If you have a broken car, you can choose to throw it away, and then you will have no car. Their first child\’s experiment was so successful, and his next child will be sixteen soon. He must be looking forward to it, and he will be studying the car every day. If you want to get my car at the age of sixteen, you have to start learning from the age of eleven and help maintain the family car (such as washing the car and cleaning the windows). Because there are twelve children, the whole family needs several cars when they go out. If you hadn\’t done this, you wouldn\’t have had a car when you were sixteen. At the age of sixteen, your parents will give you a chance to be a modification expert and let you learn to think independently and think independently. If you don\’t want to, you can sell it, and the result will be that you have nothing. 6. Bear hardships with your children. Every year they have a vacation, and they go on vacation for two or three weeks. In the United States, families with many children receive a lot of subsidies, and the state pays almost all for raising them. However, they do not choose to stay in a hotel or take a yacht. They choose to go camping with the whole family for two or three weeks and become backpackers. They will learn how to set up camp, how to live in the camp when it rains, and how to get out and come back safely. For children over six years old, the father will take them hiking for three to five days (carrying a tent on his back). The mother will stay in the campground with the children under six years old to live a wild life, camping, grilling, and getting close to the wild. nature. The father told the child: \”You have to be six years old before you can go hiking with us for three to five days.\” The child wanted to grow up, and when he was five years old, he was clamoring to follow us every day. \”No, you can\’t follow me until you are six years old.\” I finally looked forward to the age of six. Will I complain endlessly if I go out for three to five days? Won\’t. Dad will say: \”You are six years old, you are a man, you have grown up.\” They teach children to be independent in life, teach children to use their hands and brains, teach children to endure hardship, and teach children to be close to nature. He did not say dogmatically: You should endure hardship, you should be close to nature, and you should get up early and go to bed early. 03 Leading by example is worth a thousand words. Set the rules and everyone will abide by them. Use actions instead of words to implement educational concepts to children. As soon as the summer vacation comes, the child knows that he has to travel independently and set up a tent; at the age of fifteen, he knows that there will be a broken car next year, so this year I will be ready to start reading some car manuals, and I will start to modify a car . A child educated in this way has a very strong sense of family. He will stop before he reaches the bottom line. When the time is up, he will turn off the lights on his own without having to scream over there. The point is that parents follow and accompany their children to implement these principles. As a parent, is it possible for you to play mahjong until 1 o\’clock and then tell your children to go to bed earlier? impossible. Is it possible for parents to tell their children not to eat junk food even though they themselves eat junk food? Noable. Is it possible for parents to teach their children not to be picky eaters themselves? This is something that can never be done. That\’s the trick to teaching kids. You don\’t have to yell at him or yell at him. You have to adjust him at an age when he is willing to follow after a little training. Some people say that the child is now past that age and can no longer cry. What should I do? Simple. Ask him to come to a meeting and work out family rules together. CCTV recommends over 500 high-scoring documentaries. After the children watch Pattern Explosion and self-discipline addiction is formulated, we review it once a month to see if there is anything that needs to be changed, but parents retain the right to veto. Why? What would you do if you have two children who both decide to eat McDonald\’s for every meal? We respect reasonable rules and follow them, and I take the lead in showing off and leading by example. This is the philosophy of education. Therefore, the concept of family education is not so lofty. It is actually implemented in the rules of daily life. Respect children\’s ambitions and interests, allow them the freedom to choose, and have bottom lines that they must abide by.