Had breakfast outside the other day. There was a family of three sitting at the next table. The child should be going to kindergarten, carrying a small schoolbag. After my father hurriedly finished his breakfast, he started playing with his mobile phone. After eating a few dumplings, the child asked for some vinegar. I just happened to run out of supplies on my table. \”Tell your dad to get it.\” The child\’s mother said a little unhappy. \”Dad, get jealous.\” \”Go on your own. Didn\’t I tell you to do your own thing? How did the teacher teach you?\” Dad said without raising his head. The child pursed his lips, then went to the next table to get it. Unexpectedly, I dropped it to the ground as soon as I picked it up. Debris all over the floor and vinegar spread. The air is sour. \”You clumsy kid. Let me spank you!\” At this time, the father stood up and scolded the child. The mother quickly pulled the frightened and overwhelmed child over. \”Such a big bottle of vinegar is a bit slippery, but it\’s okay. Just apologize to the boss and pay for one bottle. Be more careful next time.\” \”I think you are used to it. You know how to pamper, and you can\’t do even the smallest things well.\” Child. Dad looked impatient. \”Then I\’m used to you. When have you ever cared about your children? How much do you care about family affairs? You still have the nerve to yell. If you hadn\’t been playing with your phone and not taking care of your children, you would have been Is that so?\” \”You, I won\’t tell you anymore.\” At this time, my father was hesitant and didn\’t know what to say. We often say not to spoil your children, but to make them independent. But, do you really love your children? Many parents, especially fathers, hide in their own world to have fun or be quiet under the pretext of wanting their children to be independent. If one day you are old and you need your children to do something for you. Will there be any excuses? Just like you used to fool your children. He was obviously playing games on his mobile phone, but he told the child holding his hand that he had something to do. Obviously he wanted to watch a football match, but he pushed the child away and said his father was busy. Many times, I find excuses to push my child’s hand away. In fact, you are not pushing away the child, but you are hurting the child\’s attachment to you. You know, only by sowing love can you reap love. Parents\’ words, deeds, and attitudes toward their children often affect their children\’s future attitudes toward others. I was deeply moved by seeing such a short story on Zhihu. A little boy was fascinated by the story. The story said that someone contributed a tablecloth to the king. If it was dirty, he did not need to wash it. He just burned it in the fire and it would be clean. It turned out that the tablecloth was made of asbestos. The little boy couldn\’t believe that there was cloth that could not be burned. In order to demonstrate to him, the boy\’s father, despite his mother\’s objections, dismantled the electric heating cup at home, took out the asbestos from it, and then put it on the gas stove to burn it for him to see. Sure enough, the piece of asbestos did not burn, but turned white. From then on, the little boy learned the fact that asbestos has a high ignition point. Twenty years later, his father asked him on the phone why he couldn\’t log in to QQ, how to download movies, why the monitor didn\’t light up, and why the computer was getting slower and slower. Whenever he was too lazy to answer, he would think of the piece of asbestos lying quietly on the gas stove that weekend twenty years ago. Seeing this little story reminds me of my childhood. Although my family is very poor, if it is something I want to do, my family is very supportive and never asks any questions.So at that time, I would use my little pocket money to go to the doctor to buy a thermometer and syringes to do some small experiments. Belly a frog, or measure the temperature of various types of water. Although grandma didn’t read, she didn’t know how to explain it to me. But she supported me to study hard and explore this interesting world. He wouldn’t say it was a waste, nor would he say I was just playing around. He thought it was good. And if you have anything to do at home, you will discuss it with me. So I felt respected and became independent and confident. And after becoming a father, I feel even more precious. Little kids, even big kids. In addition to parental discipline, a unique kind of parent-child attachment is required that is different from other emotions. We call this a \”secure attachment\” relationship, and this feeling stays with us throughout our lives. No matter how old you are, there is always this inner child living inside of you. And this inner child is always intrinsically related to the native environment in which he grew up. Parental attention and intimate love are the two keys for children to form a \”secure attachment\” relationship. Children need active attention. \”When I\’m unhappy, I feel sad. My emotions need to be seen. No matter what my purpose is, I first want someone to pay attention to my emotions instead of ignoring and attacking them.\” This allows children to feel that they are themselves. Be loved and cared for by your parents. So sometimes my son comes to me with his toys with a sad look on his face and says, \”Dad, my wheel has fallen off.\” In fact, at this time, he just hopes that I can respond to his feelings. \”Are you feeling unhappy? How about dad fix it for you?\” No matter how busy you are, you must pay attention to your children\’s problems, because that is a big deal in their eyes. \”Okay!\” At this time, my son immediately became happy and waited for me to tinker with it. Even if the repair fails, the child will not be sad anymore because the parents feel his emotions and actively help him, and this is enough. Children often don\’t want much, just a look of attention and a hug from their parents. Or just touch your head or pat your shoulder. Let the child be noticed, and the child will feel that the world is full of love and understanding instead of indifference and neglect. Therefore, when such children grow up, their hearts will be warmer. You will cherish your loved ones even more. When a boy grows up and marries a wife, if he sees his wife having stomachaches every month, he will try to find ways to relieve the pain instead of ignoring his wife\’s feelings. When a girl grows up and sees her husband working hard outside, even if she is unlucky and doesn\’t make much money, she will not scold her head-on and then compare her husband with others. Instead, they will pay attention to their husband\’s inner feelings, help each other in the same boat, and encourage him first. Half of all this comes from whether the native family has planted a warm seed in the child\’s heart. Intimacy of love provides a secure base for your child\’s growth. Let the children experience this never-ending relationship, that they are not alone and will not be abandoned, and that the world around them is safe and stable. This is the core of a child\’s sense of security. We often blame our parents for being doting. Instead, it ignores the fact that many children actually lack love. We expect our children to have good qualities, such as kindness, tolerance, understanding, confidence, independence, and patience. And this is all establishedOn an individual who is loved and respected. Children with strong hearts have the love and respect of their parents. Not only feel the warmth, but also make yourself stronger. Loving our children well is actually loving ourselves. Because this little child in front of us is who we used to be. The novelist Dostoyevsky said: \”Being with children can save your soul.\” In fact, it is a dialogue with your past self. That once weak, neglected, silently weeping child is talking and shouting to you. That child who was once happy and warm-hearted also gave you strength when you were most helpless. And now, we have a child. See them moving forward on their own path in life. Just work hard together. Live up to this rare parent-child relationship given by God.