What is it about the more parents control their children, the less promising they become?

Around us, there is a type of children who do homework and exams just to be able to cope with teachers and parents. They do not resist or care about criticism and education from parents and teachers, and they have no will or action to change… Parents are confused. Answer: \”I invest so much time and energy in taking care of my children, worrying about everything about life, study, interests, and talents. Why do my children always look careless and lazy?\” What exactly makes parents fall into the trap of supervising more and more? , the cycle of children becoming lazier? The following three kinds of \”control\” can easily lead to children\’s lack of motivation to learn, lack of sense of responsibility, and laziness. Parents and friends, come and compare them to see if you are \”lying on the gun\”? Over-intervention. Over-intervention will weaken the child\’s ability to self-manage. After their children enter primary school or even middle school, many parents still think that their children are still young and do not know how to arrange their own activities. We still \”care\” about our children\’s life and learning just like we do for children in early childhood. From the small things in life such as packing school bags and tidying up the room, to the details of the children\’s learning, such as when to start pre-study and review, what extracurricular classes to sign up for, etc., we are involved in everything. Intervene and sometimes even directly make decisions for the child. As time goes by, children become more and more dependent on their parents, and become less inclined to use their brains, too lazy to think, and too lazy to worry. Naturally, their ability to self-manage cannot be exercised or improved. Over-rewarding, over-rewarding, will destroy a child\’s intrinsic motivation. Some parents adhere to the educational philosophy of \”less criticism and more praise\” and believe that praise and rewards can make children more confident and help them develop good habits. As everyone knows, using rewards incorrectly can also produce negative effects. If parents always use rewards as a means to motivate their children to do things, their children will be eager to receive rewards for everything they do in the future. They will not pay attention to the fun and sense of accomplishment brought by the work itself, nor will they be fully invested, and then they will be interested in a certain behavior or behavior. Learning gradually loses intrinsic motivation and enthusiasm. Overprotection: Overprotection will deprive children of the opportunity to take responsibility for themselves. Because they are worried that the children will be hungry, they will chase and feed them; because they are crying, they will buy them unnecessary toys; because they are afraid that they will burn themselves or break dishes, they will not let their children participate in housework… Parents love their children wholeheartedly. They are eager to protect their children, but little do they know that in such meticulous care and protection, children gradually lose the opportunity to be responsible for themselves, their own choices, and their own learning and life. The above three \”management\” methods are relatively typical and common, and can easily lead to children\’s procrastination, laziness, and lack of responsibility. what to do? The editor suggests that you can \”manage\” like this: 1. Let go more and cultivate children\’s sense of autonomy. Parents should gradually let go of their children, control and interfere less with their children, fully believe in their children\’s abilities, respect their children\’s opinions, and let them have more control. Opportunities to independently arrange your own study and life according to your own interests and curiosity. At the same time, they should be allowed to fail and given the opportunity to try and correct their mistakes. Children in lower grades can first be assisted, guided and supervised by their parents, and gradually transition to independent arrangements and completion by the children. This can enable children to gain a sense of self-control and stimulate their enthusiasm for learning and determination and will for self-management.Being eager to intervene and correct will make children feel dependent in their thoughts and actions, making them unwilling and afraid to explore unknown things. All 6 volumes of world history have a set of Yang Bailao download mobi+epub+azw32 Don\’t let go, establish children\’s sense of rules, fully trust and let go of children, value children\’s free will and independent thinking, does not mean that children can go their own way, nor does it mean Contempt and abandon the rules, but allow children to have limited freedom. Parents should give their children a clear scope of autonomy, what can be appropriately relaxed, what needs to be restricted, and what must be strictly observed. For example, parents should work with their children to determine a bedtime and wake-up time that can ensure adequate sleep. It is absolutely forbidden to stay late for school because of staying in bed. If you continue to indulge, you will have mental problems and become lazy and indifferent, let alone diligent and hardworking. Therefore, parents should strengthen supervision and work closely with schools to help their children strengthen their awareness of rules and daily norms, develop good habits, and let their children understand that \”the more self-disciplined they are, the more freedom they have.\” 3. Smart rewards to stimulate children’s inner motivation. Parents should use more internal rewards and less external rewards. The sense of pride and achievement generated by children through actively exploring and understanding the world around them is itself a reward for the child. At this time, if parents can promptly affirm, encourage and provide emotional and spiritual support, this reward is intrinsic award. On the contrary, when parents give material promises and rewards to their children to do something, they are external rewards. For example, during a morning run, parents encourage their children to run 1,000 meters and confirm that their children have perseverance and can endure hardship after finishing the run. This is an internal reward. If parents promise that their children can buy a new pair of running shoes after running 1,000 meters, it is an external reward. This kind of reward becomes a bribe and exchange, which weakens the child\’s own initiative and distracts his attention, making him feel that his behavior is caused by these rewards and rewards, and the child will pay more attention to the results of the behavior. It is easy to gradually lose interest in a certain behavior or learning by ignoring the behavior itself. 4. Positive attribution: guide children to take responsibility by making internal, positive attributions instead of external, negative attributions. Some children fail to do well in exams, and when they get home they complain that a certain teacher cannot teach, or that they are not good at learning. This is a typical external, negative attribution. This kind of attribution often leads to shirk responsibility and avoidance. Realistic adverse effects. Learning attitude, learning methods, seriousness, hard work, etc. are factors that individuals can adjust and control. This attribution is not only an internal attribution, but also a positive attribution. Such children must have sufficient motivation to learn. , occasionally the results are not satisfactory and we will actively make adjustments in the future. When children show signs of external or negative attribution, parents must be highly sensitive and provide timely guidance. They cannot allow their children to shirk responsibility. Otherwise, their children\’s sense of responsibility will gradually become indifferent and they will gradually become less interested in their own learning and unwilling to do so. Take charge. Parents can try to use the above four \”management\” methods, but the editor always believes that there is no one-size-fits-all parenting truth.Each method may have different effects on different children and families. Therefore, it is recommended that parents \”manage\” their children in a targeted manner on the basis of fully understanding and respecting their children\’s personality. May you \”manage\” your children to be full of vigor and vitality! Ultra-clear scanned PDF version of 2,000 general knowledge about Chinese history that will benefit you throughout your life