The never-absent father’s education Recently, an essay “The Me Hidden in the Corner” written by You Yixuan, a fifth-grade student at Nanjing Lhasa Road Primary School, became popular. In this article, she mentioned her father three times: I feel lonely and helpless, and I have changed from an open tulip to a closed tulip. When my father saw me like this, he said there was no need to worry unfoundedly, just think about it and it would be fine. Mainly I figured he would be happy. I was so happy at the end of the run because I ran 8.75 seconds, like half Usain Bolt! I was also very happy at night. After eating chocolate, my father said that I was his little good boy. Although I still couldn\’t control my brain from time to time and lost my temper, my teachers and parents (dad) would talk to me about it every time. When I figured it out, I felt that it was no big deal… A drop of water reflects a sun, and every child\’s success is not accidental. Words are the blooming of thoughts and the epitome of life. You Yixuan uses her words to tell us that her father comforted her when she was sad and encouraged her when she was happy. His father was never absent from her childhood. Some people say: The best education is to fight. The difference between fatherly education and motherly education. Last weekend, when I took Xiao Guiyuan to the playground, I saw several 6- and 7-year-old children in front of the rock climbing wall who stopped halfway through the climb, and some even started crying. , they asked for help: Mom (Dad), I’m scared. Several mothers had the same idea, beckoning their children to come down: If you are afraid, stop climbing and come down quickly. And the father put his hands on his hips and shouted: It\’s okay, son, don\’t be afraid, dad is protecting you down there. As a result, the child climbed to the top of the rock. Psychologist Gerdi once said: Men are more adventurous, exploratory, tolerant and curious than women. These characteristics will be vividly reflected in the education of children. A child\’s growth is divided into three stages: 1. Hold me tight; 2. Put me down; 3. Don\’t disturb me. Among these three stages, the \”Hold me tighter\” stage belongs to the mother; after the age of 3, it enters the \”Put me down\” stage, which requires the father\’s intervention. These two stages are for the final stage of \”Farewell\”. Come and disturb me\” in preparation. The warmth, understanding, and tolerance I experienced from my mother; the rules, order, confrontation, and denial I experienced from my father are indispensable, laying the foundation for adult life. Children raised by their fathers are more likely to succeed. Park Jonghong is one of South Korea\’s \”Talent Discovery Group\”. From childhood to adulthood, he has always been \”other people\’s children.\” When he was 20 years old, after only 10 months of preparation, he was admitted to South Korea\’s top accounting firm, which many people may not be able to get into in their lifetime, and became a public accountant, and he did an excellent job. In the documentary, his father not only accompanied Park Zhonghong in his life since he was a child, but also participated in guiding his studies. He also participated in the parent-teacher conferences of all children during school. Even for other children in the class, the representatives at the parent-teacher conferences were all mothers. The Center for Evolution at the University of Newcastle in the UK studied 17,000 British babies born in the same week in March 1958, and followed up for half a century. The results show that the amount of time spent with dadOlder children are smarter than their peers when they grow up and are more likely to move into a social class higher than their father\’s. The father determines the height of the child\’s future life. Father\’s love is an irreplaceable influence. The writer Cao Wenxuan once said: For my whole life, my father has laid the foundation for my soul. A person who writes novels needs the ability to tell stories. But where does this ability come from? It has something to do with my father. My father developed a narrative ability in me. He was a very good storyteller, and as long as he sat there, people would gather around him to listen to his stories. My father’s reasoning ability is also very strong. It was my father who made me like writing. If it weren\’t for him, I probably wouldn\’t be able to go to Peking University, and I wouldn\’t be where I am today. The \”Thatched House\” that has accompanied countless children was written by him for his father. His father\’s excellent qualities have influenced him since he was a child, and they have made him what he is today. \”The Current Situation of Family Education in China\” says: The father\’s role has an irreplaceable impact on the child\’s learning, personality, emotion, quality, physical fitness and other aspects. The father establishes a close attachment relationship with the child before he is 12 years old, which greatly affects the child\’s sense of security and happiness. Father\’s love is like a mountain and mother\’s love is like an ocean. Only when father and mother learn to complement and balance each other can they be more beneficial to the growth of their children. A child\’s desire for his father. Some time ago, there was a video called \”Bad Dad, you promised to pick me up…\” and it went viral. In the video, the train slowly entered the station. The little girl looked through the window and muttered: Dad promised to pick me up, while trying her best to find her dad. When she couldn\’t find it, she started muttering: Didn\’t you agree to pick me up? Bad dad, bad dad, I\’m here, woo woo woo… Mom comforted her: The car hasn\’t stopped yet. She turned a deaf ear: Guangzhi, you bad dad… Suddenly, she slapped the window hard: Dad, dad, ah ha ha ha – outside the car is the father running to catch up with the train; inside the car is the ecstatic daughter, echoing each other, and the joy is Love overflows the screen. The famous psychologist Gerdi said: \”The presence of a father is a unique existence and has a special power in cultivating children.\” The characteristics of men\’s decisiveness, self-confidence, independence and exploratory spirit allow children to experience boldness, Innovation and other different pleasures, yet extremely majestic, just right. Therefore, every child has a unique feeling for his father, admiring and fearing him at the same time. In their hearts, they all look forward to and long for their father\’s love and tenderness. This is natural and unstoppable. Mao Buyi said: I will give you my ordinary waiting and guarding, and I will give you my vigorous desire and tenderness. The best love a father can have for his child is to give him the love and tenderness he wants. Dad needs to do this. Levitt, an economics professor at the University of Chicago, mentioned in \”Freakonomics\” that the U.S. Department of Education selected 20 students from each of 1,000 elementary schools to track their learning and growth trajectories to study what factors would Affect children\’s performance and growth, and finally concluded that there are 8 factors that are highly related to students\’ performance and success. These 8 factors basically belong to the \”characteristics of the parents themselves\”, that is to say, what kind of person the parents are is very important to the children. In other wordsIt is said that what parents can let their children learn from themselves will determine the height of their future success. As a saying goes: The essence of education is a self-cultivation of parents. As you are, so are your children. So, dad needs to do this: Parents love each other. The famous American \”family therapy guru\” Satya believes that a person is inextricably linked to his family of origin, and this link may affect his life! Mother\’s mood is the temperature of home. The more the father loves the mother, the better the mother\’s mood and the higher the happiness index. In a family, the best thing a father can do for his children is to love his mother; the best love a mother can give her children is to appreciate and respect their children\’s father; and the best education parents can give their children is to love each other. High-quality companionship is not just about staying with your children. Companionship is a kind of participation, a kind of penetration, telling your children physically that I am with you. In \”Talent Discovery Team\”, a 40-month-old language prodigy brought a bucket of rice and various pots and pans to the living room and started playing. The rice was scattered all over the floor. When his father saw it, not only did he not stop it, but We sat down and played with the children with rice. Sun Yunxiao said that the quality of companionship is more important than time. Dads who are away on business trips for a long time have video chats and text messages with their children every day, which is another way to spend time with them. When you come home from a business trip or when your child has a major holiday, bringing a small gift of love not only has a sense of ritual, but also a sense of continuous influence on your child. Teaching by words and deeds Zheng Yuanjie once said: After I became a father, I inherited the mantle of my father’s tutor. When it comes to children, just do it and don’t tell it. In other words: shut up, put your legs up, go your own way in life, and show it to your kids. As a father, the best education for your children is to teach by example. Family is always a child\’s first school. How the parents are, the children will be too, and the father has a greater influence on the child than the mother. Learn to express love through language and behavior. Express love to your children positively instead of hiding it. Say love when you should say love, and give a hug when it is time to hug. Psychological research shows that a father\’s hug brings more affirmation and strength to a child than a mother\’s hug. Fathers and children must have good communication, so that the children can know their true inner thoughts, which can bring them closer to each other and increase the intensity of family affection. Painter Wan Li has been painting for 8-10 hours every day for three years after his child was born, in order to capture every bit of the child\’s growth, every frown and every smile, in his paintings. For him, what he painted was not just children, but also his own love. In the movie \”Like Father, Like Son\”, there is a dialogue: – There are still many jobs in this world that only I can do waiting for me to complete! No time to spend with the kids. ——Father is also a task that only you can complete! Psychologist Freud once said: \”I can\’t think of any stronger need for teenagers than to obtain the protection and love from their father.\” Yan Rujing in \”Qi Pa Shuo\” said: A child\’s life is like a TV series. You can make up for it if you don\’t watch the TV series, but you can\’t make up for the child\’s life. If you don’t see it, you will never see it again. I hope none of usI have missed the growth of my children; I hope we can all accompany our children\’s growth; I hope we can all become the best and warmest memories of our children\’s childhood.