What should I do if my baby is withdrawn and timid?

Xiaofan has been in the kindergarten for two and a half months, but he is still not accustomed to the kindergarten environment. He is extremely scared, behaves withdrawn, and is anxious. She often uses dolls and other playthings as substitutes for her mother, holding them all day long and sleeping with them in her arms, fearing that they will leave. He avoids crowds or strangers, is not gregarious, often stays on the sidelines during children\’s group activities, and is indifferent to the friendly expressions of other peers. He speaks little, uses gestures more when communicating with teachers, uses movements to express \”yes\” and \”no\”, ignores other people\’s inquiries, and has delayed language development. I have low self-esteem, timidity, and low self-confidence. I especially care about teachers\’ criticism and peers\’ ridicule, and often cry. Although Xiaofan\’s withdrawal behaviors cannot be called mental illness, they do reflect abnormalities in children\’s early social development. If it is not paid attention to and corrected in time, it will have a serious impact on their social behavior and psychological state in adulthood. Children\’s withdrawal refers to children who are excessively timid and lonely in the process of interpersonal communication. They are afraid or unwilling to go to strange environments, unwilling to play with children, and would rather stay at home and play by themselves, etc. The corresponding classification term proposed in my country\’s mental illness classification scheme is children\’s social sensitivity disorder, which refers to children\’s fear, anxiety and avoidance behavior towards new environments or strangers reaching an abnormal level, and is more common in children aged 5 to 7 years. Reasons for children\’s withdrawal: A normal child suddenly arrives in a completely unfamiliar environment, or encounters a frightening and terrifying situation, and exhibits behavioral symptoms such as less movement, daze, and withdrawal. This is a normal adaptive response of children. As time goes by, children will gradually adapt to their environment and actively develop their ability to adapt to the environment through games and other activities. However, children with withdrawn behavior have difficulty adapting to new environments. Children develop and grow in interactions with others, and their behavioral habits and emotional personality development are transmitted through various channels in society, such as parent-child and peer relationships. If withdrawal behavior in childhood is not prevented and treated, it may not only continue into adulthood, but may also have a lasting impact on children\’s social behavior, career choices, and methods of educating children as adults. Attachment and separation anxiety between parents and children are central components of children\’s early social development. If attachment fails to form and anxiety is experienced too much, a series of social withdrawal behaviors will gradually occur. Children\’s social withdrawal has biological, psychological and social reasons, such as congenital frailty, introversion, early adverse life experiences, the negative influence of television and other media, and the negative effects of interpersonal indifference in modern society. Among them, the bad parenting style of parents and teachers has the greatest impact. ◐ Family factors The development of modern society has led to a decline in family stability, parents have divorced, children born out of wedlock and single-parent children have increased in large numbers, and children have become victims. If a good parent-child attachment relationship cannot be formed in the early stages, it will cast a shadow of indifference to family affection in the child\’s young mind and create prejudice against people and society. Some parents keep their children at home all day long, letting them play alone and not letting them interact with other children. Some parents are too doting on their children, taking too much care and accommodation, making it difficult for their children to adapt to the new environment and even resorting to escape methods. some parentsThe mother is indifferent to the child\’s psychological needs, refuses and restricts a lot, has high expectations and demands, and the family atmosphere is tense. Some parents over-protect and indulge their only children, satisfy all their demands (even if they are unreasonable), and take care of all life affairs, so that their children develop a self-centered character, strong dependence, poor independence and self-care ability, and cannot To endure a little grievance and setback, not to be accepted by peers, and to fail repeatedly in interpersonal communication. ◐ School factors Many children can still get along happily with their parents at home, but they show excessive withdrawal in kindergarten and school. The reason is related to the punishment of teachers. \”Good punishment\” should be targeted. For example, it may be feasible to give appropriate criticism to an active and outgoing child; but severe criticism to a withdrawn child who is introverted, sensitive and suspicious will undoubtedly have greater negative effects than The positive effect will strengthen children\’s withdrawal behavior. Some people try to create opportunities for withdrawn children to express themselves, try to let them speak as much as possible, and try to keep them at the center of activities during activities, but things are counterproductive. Doing so often aggravates the anxiety of withdrawn children. Because withdrawn children just want to be \”ordinary\” children, not eye-catching \”stars\”; they want to be ordinary members of the group, not \”leaders\”. Education and Correction of Withdrawn Children The education and correction of withdrawn children is a systematic project, involving all aspects such as families, kindergartens and schools. To meet the psychological needs of withdrawn children, we must not only take into account their material needs, but more importantly, care about their psychological needs and provide them with love and trust. For example, breastfeeding, playing with children, and walking can promote the formation of attachment between parents and children. Many parents have little contact with their children, or leave their children to the care of the older generation. In this way, the children\’s needs cannot be met in time, which will affect the parent-child relationship and leave hidden dangers for the children\’s future social development. ◐ Suggestions for teachers: Teachers should be caring towards children who have just entered kindergarten or school, help them adapt to the new environment, and pay attention to meeting their needs for security and self-esteem. For example, use more praise methods and speak kindly and kindly; patiently help and encourage introverted children, and criticize cautiously, so that they feel that kindergarten and school are like home, comfortable and happy. Withdrawn children need warmth and friendliness. Create a psychological environment with a democratic atmosphere. Whether at home or in kindergartens and schools, efforts should be made to create a healthy psychological environment. ◐ Suggestions for parents: Parents should not spoil their children, so as not to make them excessively dependent, nor should they be rough, so as not to make their children fearful, uneasy, and afraid of contact with others. Children should be encouraged to love the collective from an early age, actively participate in activities with other children, and develop a cheerful personality. It is necessary to take advantage of favorable conditions to help withdrawn children build self-confidence and develop independence in a targeted manner. For example, encourage them to do their own things, it doesn’t matter if they do well or badly, they can withstand failures and setbacks, be brave children, and better adapt to different environments. Parents should cultivate their children\’s ability to be independent and let them learn to manage themselves. Believe in the child\’s strength and ability, cultivate the child\’s courageous spirit, and let the child shake offRelying on others\’ \”psychological crutches\” everywhere and walking independently. Use games to provide opportunities for companionship. For example, let peers introduce themselves to each other, conduct certain role dialogues through the game of \”playing house\”, teachers and students dance unity dance together, and learn polite expressions from each other. Parents should also consciously arrange for their children to interact with neighborhood children. Every bit of progress of the children should be recognized in a timely manner. Must-read parenting books for parents recommended: Don’t Think You Understand Your Children’s Mind e-book download. Parents should reward withdrawn children for their gregarious behavior in social interactions, gradually increase their social activities, and overcome withdrawal behaviors. After many times of social practice and correct psychological induction from parents, the vast majority of children with withdrawn behavior can become cheerful people. ◐ Home-school co-education Families, kindergartens, and schools must cooperate with each other. The success of educational treatment for withdrawn children depends on the close cooperation between parents and teachers. If kindergartens and schools require one set of requirements, while the home requires another set of requirements, the child\’s behavior will become changeable and he will be at a loss as to what to do. No matter how much education and correction is applied, it will achieve half the result with twice the result. For example, the main reason for some children\’s withdrawal is the disharmony between their parents and improper upbringing. At this time, teachers should go deep into the family and carry out \”family education correction.\” Through visits, we can improve the cognitive structure and unhealthy interaction patterns of family members, break the old \”vicious cycle\” and eliminate the fundamental causes of withdrawal behavior. If it is a teacher-related problem, parents\’ suggestions should be carefully listened to through parent-teacher meetings and other forms, and the work of kindergartens and schools should be continuously improved to alleviate the pressure of withdrawn children. For those children whose behavioral withdrawal is caused by mental or neurological diseases, parents and teachers should reach a consensus and send them to specialized hospitals for further diagnosis and treatment as soon as possible.

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