• Tue. Dec 5th, 2023

What should I do if my child always delays doing things?

If we were to make a ranking list and vote for educational issues that drive parents crazy, I think \”children are too lazy\” would definitely be in the top three. My son is in the third grade this year, and the daily grinding and procrastination makes me collapse every minute. I get up every day, I wake up with three reminders, my eyes are open, but I feel sleepy and always want to go back to sleep. I can\’t get up without yelling a few times. When I take him out, I have to hold back my anger and watch him pack things, put on clothes and shoes at 0.5 times speed. Finally, everything is ready. As soon as he sees Ultraman in the entrance, he can\’t help but pick it up and play with it. Oh…especially when it comes to homework. If I can still maintain a loving mother and filial piety, then when it comes to homework, I really get all kinds of crazy. Looking back on the past days, I yelled at him N+1 times because he was too lazy. It was really exhausting. As a result, the effect was not good, and after too much urging, my son became an old man and was completely unmoved. In order to solve his procrastination, I had to start taking expert classes and reading parenting books. Unexpectedly, I was actually found to have educational problems. Time management methods and techniques: No yelling, no yelling, how to solve the problem of procrastination in children. In the past six months, I have repeatedly thought about it, studied hard, and put what I have learned into practice. While accompanying my son, I saw the changes in him and I knew that this was due to the four psychological effects I had learned. \”Over-limit Effect\” Your urging aggravates the child\’s rebellious psychology. Many parents will find that the child moves slowly and procrastinates, and urging alone cannot change anything. The more you urge, the slower the child becomes. Once, my son’s school assigned a manual task of making lanterns, and parents were required to accompany him. All the materials were prepared and placed on the table. He insisted on finding a disposable tablecloth to cover it. After searching for a long time, he couldn\’t find it, so he asked to prepare a rag. Back and forth, ten minutes passed. At that time, I was anxious to wash the vegetables and cook, so I urged him to come over quickly and get started. But as soon as he sat down, he ran to the kitchen to wash fruits and eat them, saying that he was hungry and couldn\’t do anything without eating something. Seeing time being wasted by him little by little, the unknown fire in my heart burst out instantly, and I couldn\’t help but yell at him. Finally, that assignment could be completed in half an hour, but he had to do it until 11 o\’clock in the evening. It took a long time, the quality of the work was poor, and the relationship between mother and son was at a deadlock. Frankly speaking, I once suspected that there was something wrong with my son\’s understanding. Why was he still unmoved even though I urged him like that? Later, I read a passage from psychologist Hu Shenzhi: The more the mother urges, the slower the child moves. Tying shoelaces, eating, and writing all become slower and slower. This is actually the child\’s attack on the mother, or in other words, the child\’s counterattack against the way the mother treats him. Children use this state of neither good nor bad to prove the failure of their parents, which is a bit harmful to others and not beneficial to themselves. But people have this need in their unconsciousness. It is the need for attack and it is also an expression of anger. Suddenly I realized that this is the same as the \”over-limit effect\” in psychology. If our children are stimulated too much, too strongly, or for too long by the outside world, they will easily become extremely impatient or rebellious. It may even fall into an endless cycle: urge – don\’t move – urge again – move slowly – urge three times and please -—Even less willing to move. Think about it too. If it were me, if others kept urging me, I would find it annoying, and I would even deliberately slow down to make others anxious. Therefore, if you want to change your children\’s friction, it is important for parents to control their mouths. For example, when I decided to control myself and not push him, my son still struggled at first. But after half an hour, he looked at the clock and realized that he had not finished his homework. He took out his exercise book and sat down on the desk to write. It turns out that sometimes silence is really better than sound. Let go of urging and nagging and let your child make the decision. This not only allows him to take responsibility for himself, but also reaps the surprise of growth. Why not do it. \”Positioning quick-effect experiment\” refines the goals to improve children\’s efficiency. A few days ago, I saw a message from a mother asking for help in the group: \”I\’m really going crazy. It\’s already past ten o\’clock and he hasn\’t done his homework yet.\” After finishing writing, the other children have gone to bed, so he is just dawdling.\” The \”Zeignik Effect\” reduces the difficulty of the task and reduces the child\’s psychological burden. In \”Super Parenting\”, there is a 12-year-old boy named Long Wei. I scored 27 points on the exam. I was full of energy when playing games. I yawned repeatedly when doing homework and couldn\’t start. Sitting at the desk, either in a daze or playing with a pen. In the end, the homework is often not handed in. Download the complete works of Lu Xun in pdf Baidu Netdisk, all 20 volumes, epub+mobi+azw3. Seeing how nervous he was with nowhere to put his hands under his mother\’s questioning, and the embarrassment of being unable to recite \”What is six times six?\”, I couldn\’t help but squeeze it for him. Break into a cold sweat. Logically speaking, a child of his age would not deliberately delay doing his homework and be beaten and scolded by his mother. But it can be seen from his nervousness and anxiety that the key to his delay in completing his homework is that learning is difficult for him. The \”Law of Natural Punishment\” changes initiative into passivity and lets children bear the consequences themselves

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *