What should I do if my child goes missing? 14 hours of terror!

In the morning, I turned on my phone and saw that a friend had posted an urgent missing person notice in the circle. It turned out that one of her child\’s classmates had gone missing on the way home after participating in the school\’s coming-of-age ceremony rehearsal. I couldn\’t help but become anxious. This was a child of the same age as Zaizai. From my understanding, although children at this stage have entered pre-adolescence and are more self-seeking, they are not rebellious. Generally speaking, children will not run away from home. What happened to the child? Where have you gone? Where are you now? The parents were so anxious that they used all their strength to find their children. All friends who knew each other also helped to forward it, but one night passed and there was still no news about the child. It wasn\’t until 2 hours later that my friend replied that the child had been found. The child went to evening care after school and was trapped in the elevator on the way home. I thought it was quite strange at the time. How could I be stuck in the elevator for so long? Was it an abandoned elevator? I also feel that it would be quite scary if a child is locked alone in a claustrophobic space like an elevator for a night. I thought it was scary for a child to be trapped in an elevator for so long, but who knew the truth of the matter was even scarier than this. The place where the child was trapped was not the elevator, but the area less than half a square meter in front and back between the elevator and a shopping mall rolling door. It turned out that the family told the child to wait at the designated intersection at 7 p.m., but the daycare ended at 6 p.m. that day. The child looked at the time and saw that it would be a while before his family would pick him up, so he went to the third floor of a nearby building to play with his classmates. The children have been to this place before. When the elevator opens, it is an antique club. So the child didn\’t think about it that much at all. It wasn\’t until he stepped out of the elevator that the child realized that the scene in front of him was completely different from the scene he was usually familiar with. The anti-theft rolling shutter door outside the elevator door isolated the antique club and he could not enter at all. Before the child could react, the elevator door behind him quickly closed. Because the up and down buttons of the elevator are in the office area inside the rolling shutter door, the child has no way to press the elevator button again, so he is trapped in the narrow area between the dark and airtight elevator and the rolling shutter door. It was not until 14 hours later, when the staff of the antique club went to work in the morning the next day and opened the rolling shutter door that they discovered the child trapped inside. The child said that he screamed at the top of his lungs, but no one responded. In the end, he had no choice but to give up asking for help, took out his textbooks from his schoolbag, spread them on the ground and slept all night. He told himself that when the staff went to work after dawn the next day, the rolling shutter door would be opened, and he would be able to go out by then. In this way, he stayed alone in a dark confined space for 14 hours. During this period, he also thought of using a cup to solve his physiological problems. After being rescued, the child\’s overall mood was very stable and he resumed school that day. The child said he was not afraid when he was trapped, and his mother also praised him for being particularly brave. When I heard about this incident, my first reaction was admiration. This child must be too mentally strong! He is the same age as my son, but his calm attitude and easy handling ability far exceed that of my son. Other friends around me also lamented that if their own children encountered the same situation, they would be scared out of their wits. We all lamented that we should cultivate children\’s self-care ability and conduct psychological education.Coordination construction, so that children have a strong heart to face difficulties. However, after I calmed down, I began to ask myself, if I was the one being imprisoned in the same situation, would I be objective and calm and not afraid? I found that just thinking about it made me completely filled with fear. I specifically asked my father if he would be scared if he were in the same position as a little boy. My father said, \”Do you think I am superman? How could I not be scared after being alone in such a dark place for 14 hours?\” ?\” I became curious. Since this is a situation that adults would be afraid of, why would a 10-year-old child say that he is not afraid? What is hidden behind the children\’s \”bravery\”? From a psychological perspective, courage is a defense against fear. For a child who experienced 14 hours of darkness and claustrophobia alone, the bravery he showed was actually to cover up the fear and fear deep inside. I tried to imagine myself in the same situation, and found that for such a long time, my inner emotions could not be described simply as fear or fear. In the ten seconds after I stepped out of the elevator and saw the rolling shutter door, my first feeling was surprise, astonishment, and doubt that I had taken the wrong step. At this time, when I see the elevator door closing, I will feel infinite panic in my heart. In terror, fear, and panic, I will start to fumble desperately in the dark, trying to find the elevator button, and at the same time shout with all my strength, hoping that someone can hear me. Ask for help yourself. When there was no answer no matter how much I called or tried, no one came to rescue him, and all I got in response was darkness and silence. I began to worry, worried that my parents would be angry, worried that they would blame me, and worried that I would never see him again. My parents were gone, and time passed by. Slowly, in the darkness, I became desperate. I began to accept my fate and accept the current situation. I could only lie there and wait for others to find me. In order to make the feeling of despair less severe, I began to isolate myself from my feelings, because if I had been feeling fear in the past, my heart would only become more panicked, because no one knew how long I would be trapped, and every moment in the darkness. The minutes are extremely long, and no one knows when this long suffering will end. Only by isolating yourself from your own feelings, not being afraid, not letting yourself experience panic, and not experiencing the various emotional ups and downs in your heart, can you make yourself calmer at that moment. This is a method that children have found to protect themselves. Only by being without feelings and isolating yourself from your emotions can you persevere in darkness and panic. Under such circumstances, it is actually irresponsible to the child to just ask him if he is afraid of being locked up inside. When the child says that he is not afraid, and when you see that the child looks normal, it is not appropriate to think that the child has really dealt with all the trauma and will not deal with it any more. The child needs some professional treatment to help him repair his inner trauma. You may want to ask, wouldn’t it be good if the child didn’t feel fear, fear and other negative emotions at all? Why go out of your way to repair the child’s inner trauma? This is because not feeling fear and pain does not mean that fear and painSuffering does not exist. In times of great pain, denying the existence of emotions is a powerful and effective defense mechanism. But when the incident passes, it is necessary to clean up the inner wounds in time. If these wounds are left untreated, they will express themselves in a variety of ways. Sometimes, the brain will repeatedly flash back to the scene at that time in an instant, making people feel the panic and fear at that time again, and the heartbeat will speed up, or all kinds of terrifying thoughts will suddenly appear in the heart inexplicably, and nightmares will occur at every turn; sometimes There will be avoidance of sexual behavior, refusal to talk about the situation at that time, and even the brain will deliberately forget these things, but the behavior will become more and more timid and clingy, afraid to be alone, afraid of leaving parents or family members; some Sometimes trauma can also manifest as hypervigilance, hypervigilance, anxiety, mania, attention disorders, numbness and emptiness, and even unconscious replays of traumatic experiences. These strong negative emotions will bring us a variety of negative reactions, seriously affecting our behavior and causing huge damage to our lives. We can’t understand our own behavior, can’t feel the happiness and beauty in life, and are rough and easy to deal with. Anger, losing temper frequently, etc. Even if our consciousness wants to forget, our bodies and brains have never forgotten the fear and fear we experienced when the trauma occurred. All negative feelings, even after a long time, will still trigger intense emotions due to a little weak inducement. reactions, with devastating effects on daily life. Only through professional treatment can the trauma be re-opened, so that these wounds can be re-processed, seen, comforted, and supported in a loving environment, so that the traumatized brain can feel safe again and establish a safe emotion. Only with this link can the wound truly recover and not threaten daily life. Therefore, do not ignore the impact of psychological trauma, especially for children, as trauma is more likely to affect them throughout their lives. As parents, we must protect our children and keep their safety in mind at all times. If you let your child go out alone, you must equip your child with a smartphone and other contact information to ensure there is a way to contact your child. You must also teach your child how to deal with problems so that they can ask for help when they encounter problems! I would also like to remind everyone that in emergencies, avoiding and denying various feelings can help us get through the pain, but in daily life, in a safe environment, when negative emotions come up and painful feelings arise, we cannot Teach children to avoid emotions, but guide them to face and accept their own feelings, teach them to recognize various emotions such as happiness, sadness, joy, sadness, anxiety, calmness, fear, peace of mind, nervousness, etc., and name these emotions. In this way, children can have a better connection with their own feelings and body, feel and understand their own needs, and be their inner strong selves. Because only when emotions are seen can children feel that the emotions are controllable and can they be truly accepted and dealt with. Take the feeling of fear as an example. If we don\’t see the fear in our hearts, we may feel \”inexplicable panic\” when I see a scary picture. This \”inexplicable panic\” is invisible and intangible. I don\’t knowKnow how big it is and where it comes from. And if we can describe it accurately: \”I felt a strong fear coming from the bottom of my heart.\” Although this feeling of fear is very strong, when we describe it accurately, we know how intense it is, and it seems that this emotion is within our control. The same is true for fear, one is uncontrollable and the size is unknown, while the other is controllable and the size is known. The obviously controllable fear will make us more confident in dealing with it. Therefore, when we guide children, we must lead them to understand their own emotions and let them name these emotions accurately. In this way, children can develop the ability to support and encourage themselves, truly believe and accept their own feelings, and face all problems in life with positivity and optimism. As parents, it is our responsibility to protect the safety of our children, and it is also our task to help our children build a truly inner and strong self. I hope every child can grow up in the unconditional acceptance of his parents!