What should I do if my child has a dilly-dallying personality?

A son\’s chronicity can drive people crazy, and adding a child with severe procrastination can really shorten an old mother\’s life by several years. My son is in fourth grade this year, and his daily procrastination is simply depressing: he takes more than ten minutes to get up, gets dazed several times to get dressed, and eats slowly. I feel so anxious that I get angry, and he is still wandering around. . Homework is a frequent trigger of parent-child conflicts. When he was urged to do his homework, he either asked for a drink of water or to go to the toilet, but he refused to sit down at the desk. After finally sitting down, I started to dawdle again. When it was almost time to go to bed, I started to feel anxious and would write until around 12 o\’clock in the middle of the night. It’s even harder to do homework during the winter and summer vacations. I didn’t write in the first half of the month, but in the last few days I started to get angry. I wrote random things, and you couldn’t explain it. When I talked about it, I shed tears and lost my temper with you. I really don’t understand. The workload is obviously not very large, and the writing speed is not slow. Why is it so strenuous at the beginning? So I often urged him frequently. What should I do if my children don’t take the initiative to learn? How to make your child fall in love with learning – Efficient Accompanying Course Completed mp3 But I found that no matter how much I urged, my son still couldn\’t change his old habit of procrastinating. On the contrary, after being pushed for a long time, he seemed to feel that he was not responsible for many things, and he had no concept of time. Anyway, his mother always had to worry about and remind him. With such a destructive bad habit, his son\’s grades are naturally not much better: the homework that should be completed is delayed until it can no longer be postponed; the follow-up review and preview are a mess; the learning content of the day cannot be fully grasped, and the accumulated experience accumulates over time. , more and more knowledge points are left behind. What\’s more serious is that procrastination has brought obvious negative effects to him. He often makes up his mind and promises not to procrastinate again in the future, but he can\’t do it. My son cannot change the habit of procrastination, but he will also feel anxious because of it and often immersed in self-blame. I realized that I must pay attention to this issue, otherwise it will not only delay my son\’s learning, but also have an adverse impact on his physical and mental development. Behind children\’s procrastination is anxiety and fear of the unknown. The reason why bad habits such as procrastination are difficult to get rid of is because it satisfies the current psychology of human nature: first be comfortable, and then suffer. If you want to completely change it, you must use scientific psychological principles, and the famous Zeigarnik effect is an effective tool to get rid of procrastination. There is an interesting concept in psychology called the \”Zeigarnik Effect\”, or \”Zaigarnik Effect\” for short. It means that people will be much more impressed by unfinished tasks than completed tasks. Psychologist Zeigarnik once conducted a memory experiment: she asked participants to do 22 simple tasks, such as writing a poem you like, counting down from 50 to 10, and so on. Some people were able to finish successfully, while others were stopped before they could finish. The results are interesting: Those who were stopped were particularly concerned about the unfinished things. They did not pay attention to the things that had been done, but could not let go of the unfinished things for a long time. This is the famous Zeigarnik effect, which means that people are more impressed by unfinished things. This memory effect can also be used to solve the problem of procrastination in children. When children knowDao himself has a lot of things that he has not yet completed, and while they are waiting for him ahead, they will continue to appear in his mind, occupying his brain\’s memory, and attracting his attention. The more unfinished things there are, the greater the pressure will be. This makes the time originally used for procrastination and relaxation become tense, anxious, and self-attacking because of these unfinished tasks. This is also the reason why many children do not relax physically and mentally when they procrastinate. Instead, they become anxious and suffer, because they fail to achieve \”nothing to worry about\”. If you want to use Chua\’s effect scientifically, you must understand the reasons why children procrastinate. Children often procrastinate due to the following situations: 1. Poor self-control. Today\’s children are surrounded by many attractive things, such as short videos, TV series, games, mobile phones, etc. For children who generally have poor self-control, it is difficult to resist temptation. Time management methods and techniques: If you don\’t yell or scream, you can cure the problem of procrastination in your children. They will use the time that should be used for studying to have fun. If things go on like this, they will get used to procrastinating on studying and doing homework. 2. Children are also very anxious. Sometimes, there are so many things that children need to do, or they are difficult to do, and children suddenly feel fearful. He didn\’t know where to start, and he was tired of endless homework and endless exercises. But they have to face this boring rhythm every day. Therefore, children often feel anxious and fall into the quagmire of procrastination. Scientific research has shown that procrastination is mainly caused by bad emotions. Children cannot resolve their accumulated negative emotions, so they subconsciously regard \”procrastination\” as a way to cope with anxiety. This applies to adults as well as children, and you can only truly enjoy relaxation when the Chua Effect doesn\’t dominate your mind. And I also use the principle of the \”Zeignik Effect\” to help my children get rid of procrastination. Skillfully use the three steps of the \”Zeignik Effect\” to help children overcome the bad habit of procrastination. 1. Start with the easy point and let the children do it for 5 minutes first. Many children can make parents angry when they procrastinate, but once they get into the mood, they can do it. It\’s not slow. The core content of the Zeigarnik Effect is to let children do something immediately, especially those things that will make children miss them before they finish them. We adults also often have this experience: watching a TV series from the beginning, and waiting for it to be updated when the time comes, because there is an idea in our hearts that \”it is not finished, and we need to continue to catch up\”. This is the Zeigarnik effect at work. . Therefore, when faced with children who are used to procrastinating and are unable to \”start\”, first arrange for them to do something simple and good at doing it for 5 minutes. The key is to do it immediately. For example, if a child is good at English, let him write a page of English homework first; if a child is good at math, let him do 5 questions first. When the child starts to do it, his original anxiety and resistance will gradually dissipate. After 5 minutes, if you ask him to pause, he will always think about this unfinished task and will consciously finish it. This kind of requirement requires children to immediately and immediatelySimple small tasks to be done are much more useful than telling children a lot of big truths and explaining why they should not procrastinate. 2. Make a to-do list of \”no more than three things\”. The Chua effect tells us that when an unfinished matter is suddenly interrupted, the matter will hang up in the background of our brain, quietly occupying our energy and Willpower only increases our stress. Many children have used to-do lists but didn’t get the results they wanted. Because parents often help their children list too much, causing the children to start procrastinating because there are too many things to do and there is no hope of finishing them. The \”no more than three things\” to-do list can effectively solve the Chua effect and avoid delays caused by too many items. The method is very simple. Help your child select 3 things from the things he must do every day: The first thing: choose something that can be completed simply, such as organizing school bags, writing down a study plan for tomorrow, etc.; the second thing The first thing: Choose something that is very important for learning, such as the exam on Friday. This subject requires targeted correction of wrong questions, review and summary, etc. The third thing: Choose something that must be completed today, such as homework, etc. Willpower is like a muscle, it will be used up. If the day is full of important and urgent tasks, the child will feel timid just thinking about it. The strong psychological pressure will cause him to have an escape mentality and subconsciously choose to procrastinate. Completing the three tasks in this order will allow the children to warm up with simple things, successfully engage in learning, and gain timely positive feedback and a sense of accomplishment. When the mood is better, the sense of accomplishment brought by the first task will create more motivation and push the child to complete the truly important and urgent tasks. Practice is the only criterion for testing. When I applied this basic knowledge of psychology to my children\’s education, I found that my son gradually began to change. Starting from an easy task makes it easier for him to \”start\”, and the continued sense of accomplishment and self-recognition after starting motivates him not to avoid the next difficulties. Slowly, he formed the habit of studying at a fixed time every day, and started studying much faster every day. My son, who is no longer bound by procrastination, also feels very good. He happily said to me: \”Mom, it feels so good to have nothing to do!\” I believe that once he experiences the feeling of not procrastinating, he will I no longer want to go back to the anxious and anxious rhythm of the past. 3. Provide a good environment for children. As the saying goes, parents are their children’s best teachers. In daily life, every word and deed of parents will affect their children invisibly. \”Your child won\’t do what you say, but he will imitate what you do.\” In addition to borrowing the Chua effect in psychology to guide children scientifically, if they want their children not to procrastinate or procrastinate, parents should also set an example and give them guidance. Children set a vivid example. Look at yourself. You know that procrastination is not good, but you are always making excuses for yourself. When you agree to take your child out to play, you often push it back because of a small change. When you get home, you often do things that you should do right away. Treat yourself to TV first, then get up from the couch when you have to… All of this, kidI see it all in my eyes and teach by words and deeds, so how can the child be convinced by my urging? Being a parent is truly a lifelong practice. How to get rid of children\’s problem of dawdling? Chen Mo says goodbye to wasting time on doing homework efficiently. If you want to have a positive and proactive child, start with parents working hard and not procrastinating on things.

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