What should we do when the parents’ parenting styles conflict when the father says one thing and the mother says the other?

You cook your kids their favorite dishes, but your partner thinks kids should eat the same things as adults. You don’t want your children to play with toy guns, but your partner leads them to play cops and robbers. Are you concerned that you are sending conflicting messages to your children? Take it easy. Different parenting styles can be a good thing. As long as parents regularly discuss their positions, ideas, and concerns, you can raise a well-adjusted child. \”Problems arise when parents are unwilling to compromise,\” says family therapist Lisa Dunning. \”If they are all stubborn, and everyone says, \’Listen to me, you are right, your method is wrong,\’ and are unwilling to work together to negotiate a compromise that satisfies both parties, then this will happen. Question.\” So, what should we do when the two parties have different parenting styles? Understand your child Different children require different parenting styles at different stages of development. For example, the way to discipline a shy child will definitely be different from that of a child with a bad temper. Educate yourself to make sure you fully understand what your child did today and what is typical for children this age, rather than relying on guesswork or your own personal experience. Talk to other parents and find out what their children’s peers are doing. Be more understanding of your family members. Set up a neutral space at home, such as the kitchen, where you and your significant other can often communicate about family issues. The kitchen is the center of the home, a place where everyone can open up and chat. Here you can establish new family rules and educational methods. When your partner talks, listen sincerely and don\’t get defensive. If you open your mind and listen carefully, this is a good opportunity for you to recognize the strengths and weaknesses of your parenting approach, and for your partner as well. Decide together in front of your children that you can disagree about parenting in front of your children, but only in a respectful manner. Your child will benefit a lot if you talk things through in a calm tone, don\’t lose your temper, and ultimately find a solution together. “We need to teach children how to resolve problems when disagreements arise,” says Kyle Dunning, clinical professor of child psychiatry at Yale University School of Medicine. “Many children don’t know how to compromise because they’ve never seen their parents do that. .\” You can disagree on small things, but you won\’t be able to make everything go your way, so you have to learn to accept letting your partner make the decision. \”Mom will say, \’Don\’t go there,\’ \’No skateboarding,\’\” Pruett said. \”But dads tend to allow their kids to do risky things. For parents, disagreements over minor issues don\’t matter. The important thing is to agree on the big safety issues, like wearing a seat belt or holding your parent\’s hand when crossing the street.\” Supporting each other in front of your children starts with understanding the areas on which neither of you are willing to compromise, such as your children. safety or education; then you can be flexible on other issues. It’s important if you disagree with what your significant other is doingdecision, then it is best to discuss it with her/him privately. \”It\’s important for parents not to criticize or blame each other,\” says family therapist Fran Walfish. \”Children need to know that parents support each other, are considerate of each other, and that parents are a harmonious whole.\” \”If the mother thinks the child should Go to bed, but the father doesn\’t think so and says to the child behind the mother\’s back, \’Let\’s watch TV for a while,\’ which undermines the mother\’s authority in the eyes of the child,\” Kyle Dunning said. \”In this way, Problems will arise during the education process, which will eventually affect the relationship between the couple.\” Once you have a joint parenting plan, stick to it to maintain consistency in your parenting policy. In this way, children will understand the consequences of what they do. When you are from different families of origin and are willing to agree, you can sit down with your child and explain the rules. You can also involve your children in setting the rules, as children are more likely to follow rules they help set. When your child asks you why mom and dad teach you differently, you have to face it positively. If your child questions the difference in parenting styles, then you need to let your child know that parents don’t have to be consistent in everything. Sometimes differences can make things different. More efficient. You should also implement consistent education methods after divorce. If you and your significant other are divorced, it is best to maintain consistency in educating your children separately, such as consistent homework and bedtimes. But sometimes it\’s impossible to get the other person to insist, so you have to remind yourself that you can only control things in your own home and let your children know what you expect of them. \”It\’s good for parents and children to be honest with each other, like saying, \’Bedtime is earlier at mom\’s house than at dad\’s,\’\” Walfish says. Seek professional help If you and your significant other are having trouble communicating—for example, you two put each other down in front of your children—then you may need to analyze why you are acting this way. Perhaps you are projecting your own anger and problems into your parenting style. At this time, you can consider seeing a psychological counselor. Seeking professional help can help you and your partner return to a neutral ground, allowing you to learn and support each other again.

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