• Wed. Feb 21st, 2024

What will happen to those children who lack the company of their fathers when they grow up?

My friend Lulu called me again and complained, \”I have to divorce my husband this time. He is as childish as a child. He doesn\’t care about anything. He has no plan or sense of crisis for the future. Any other man would definitely be better than me.\” He\’s strong!\” After hearing her angrily complaining, she remembered that her husband had changed jobs frequently in the past few years and spent more than he earned. The family expenses mainly depend on Lulu\’s savings, and I do feel sorry for her. But I think of my best friend\’s husband, even though he is very bad, but he has always been patient with his children. I had no choice but to persuade him: \”Don\’t be angry after I told you. Someone else may not be better than your husband!\” My friend was stunned for a while and said, \”That\’s right. Giving your children a complete home is better than anything else. I I don’t want my child to be like Xiaohong…\” I was silent and agreed. The Xiaohong that Lulu was talking about was our roommate during graduate school. She has lived with her mother in her grandmother\’s house in the countryside since she was a child. In order to have one more child without being fined, her parents have not taken Xiaohong back to the city. Xiaohong\’s father came and left in a hurry every time. Later, he lived alone with his younger brother in the city, and rarely visited Xiaohong. As a result, Xiaohong developed a strong sense of dependence and insecurity. She was afraid of being left behind in everything she did: if you went to the water room to fetch water, she would be willing to accompany you empty-handed even if the water bottle was full, just because she didn’t want to be alone. Staying in the dormitory; when the class meeting was announced, everyone took their time. Only Xiaohong waited in the corridor in advance. When she saw which dormitory door was open, she went to the classroom with them; when buying tickets for the New Year, she would ask other roommates in advance. What was the date of the ticket? She was determined not to be the last one to leave the dormitory; Xiaohong always sticks to us in everything she does. It is good to have such a good roommate, but as people in their 20s, we can\’t do everything together. ? But Xiaohong can. Even when she had dinner with her suitor for the first time, she had to take me and Lulu to accompany her, otherwise she would not go to dinner. So, Lulu and I, two big light bulbs with full wattage, accompanied Xiaohong at that date dinner. The male protagonist was embarrassed and embarrassed by being \”photographed\” by us throughout the whole process. We also complained in our hearts: \”Hero Ah, we are doing this entirely to help you!\” Xiaohong was so insecure that she not only lost the opportunity to make close friends, but she also avoided relationships and was reluctant to fall in love and get married. After work, I occasionally looked through her circle of friends and found that because of this \”uneasiness\”: every time she changed jobs, she was farther away from home; the so-called best friends who took pictures together changed one after another; she was originally petite, But she works very hard in everything she does at work; she is very willing to wrong herself when dealing with others… The lack of father\’s love in childhood makes her look forward to care when she becomes an adult, but she hides her emotions, which makes people feel distressed. There is a topic on the Internet: What happened to the children who were not accompanied by their fathers? Some of the netizens who left comments below lack companionship because their fathers are busy at work, some lack companionship because their fathers rarely participate in their children’s education, and some lack companionship because their parents divorced or their fathers died prematurely… Children who lack the companionship of their fathers are missing something. A powerful guide, like groping and sailing alone in the dark nightA small boat with leaves, but this day will never be bright. In their memory, all their growth was accomplished by their mother alone. @ shuttle bus: When watching dragon lanterns during the Dragon Boat Festival, some other children would have their fathers hunched over their shoulders, but I squeezed into the crowd and stood on tiptoes as hard as I could, but still couldn’t see anything, and I burst into tears. @名名囧人: My dad is a soldier. He once came back to pick me up from elementary school but he didn’t pick me up. Only then did he find out that I was already in junior high school… @夏多complete: I am very strange to my father. Although they have gradually grown into ordinary people who are capable of standing in society, deep down in their hearts, they can never reconcile with their parents or even themselves. They deeply remember the moments when they lost their father\’s love, and these moments will influence their choices and judgments in every little thing in the future: when they encounter competition, they recall that when they were young, they were watching the dragon lantern because they were not lifted up by their father. \”There is no sound, but there is no dragon lantern\”, so they accepted the second best; when they were ignored by others, they easily chose to forgive others because even their biological father did not know whether they were in elementary school or junior high school, and they were even more ignored from then on. Pay attention; because they are alienated from their father-child relationship, they are accustomed to strangers and do not know how to manage a mature and deep relationship… In our country, mothers are the ones who pick up their children for tutoring the most, and they are the most active in learning various parenting knowledge. It’s the mother who spends the longest time with her children. It’s also the mother who most often criticizes her children for their mistakes and tries to reason with them. Fathers are often less involved and less present in the parenting process than mothers, and this phenomenon is very detrimental and dangerous to the growth of children. Boys want to learn from their father how to be braver and take responsibility. A girl hopes more for her father\’s protection. Her father\’s attitude towards her often affects whether she will \”marry someone like her father\” or \”must not marry someone like her father\” in the future. The father\’s response and help during this period will make the child feel safe. It can be said that the child\’s need for the father and the father\’s influence on the child are no less than that of the mother. When I was a child, the happiest memory was when it snowed heavily in the north, and my father pulled me out to play on a homemade sled. Sitting behind the sleigh, I was curious whether the white snow was as sweet as cotton candy, so I grabbed it with my hands and ate it. Dad laughed after seeing it and said that snow is dirty and will make you sick if you eat it. I still disobediently took a bite, and my father had to pretend to be angry and said, \”Don\’t tell my mother!\” My father\’s tolerance and open-mindedness are in sharp contrast to my mother\’s constant concern, \”everything is a soldier\”, and she yells when she disagrees. gave me a deep impression. The China Youth Research Center found this data in the \”Survey on the Development of Contemporary Chinese Children and Children\”: When asked \”Who can best understand and comfort you when you are in a bad mood?\” only 10.0% of children chose their father. ; When asked \”Who do you spend the longest time with in your free time?\”, only 6.9% of people chose their father; when asked \”Who respects you the most and makes you feel confident\”, only 6.9% of people chose their father. 15.5% of peopleThey chose their father; when asked \”Who would you most like to tell your inner secrets to?\”, only 8.5% of the children chose their father. It can be seen that the father plays an important role in the growth of the child. If he becomes a \”passer-by\” or an \”invisible father\”, wouldn\’t it be a great loss to the child\’s growth? Think about how lucky those children are to have both their parents at their side!

By admin

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